


Shadows and Moonlight

by FlightFlame



Series: Freaks of Nature [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Hollstein - Freeform, Soulmates AU, Werewolf AU, because why not, you can never have too many
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-05-04 20:30:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 55,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5347559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlightFlame/pseuds/FlightFlame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oh hell no," Carmilla groans, "I am not going to be a part of some Twilight, love triangle shit."</p><p>Laura finds herself in the middle of a centuries-long war between werewolves and vampires when she meets some new friends. There's a prophecy, secrets are revealed, and apparently she has a soulmate. Sounds fun, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Those Dang Dogs

**Author's Note:**

> I had an idea about a star-crossed lovers kind of thing with werewolves and hunters back when I used to zone out during lectures. After watching Carmilla and reading so many amazing fics on this site; I have been inspired to put my little daydream into writing. So, with a bit of plot tweaking and my imagination completely running away from me, here it is.
> 
>    
> ~/~ marks a time jump within the same day

**_ Prologue _ **

_The world is a blur of brown and white as I race through the trees. My path is lit by moonlight reflecting off the newly fallen snow that blankets the ground. The scent of the forest fills my nose. The ground starts to rise beneath me. The trees thin out, revealing a bare hill. Above me the sky is cloudless and pitch-black. A brilliant full moon is the only light, even the stars seem dimmed. At the top of the hill I skid to a stop in a spray of glittering snow. My ragged breath, steaming in the air, is the only sound. I look out at the forest below me, searching for any sign of movement. The only thing I see are my own paw prints trailing behind me. Relieved, I turn to continue down the other side of the hill._

_“Laura!”_

_Suddenly, a dark shape bursts from out of nowhere and slams into my side. Its momentum sends us tumbling forward down the slope. Locked together, we roll until the we reach the tree line. The wind knocked out of me, my eyes lock on the moon right before everything fades away._

* * *

 

** 1 **

** Those Dang Dogs **

**  
**

     I’m already awake when my alarm goes off. I sigh, blindly slapping at the blaring device until it’s silent. ‘ _Ugh, Monday. I am way too tired for this._ ’ Those dang dogs were howling all night, again, and I barely got any sleep. It happens every couple days. The nights they don’t keep me up are dominated by the strangest dream. When that happens I wake up in a cold sweat and my heart is racing. _‘The howling must be affecting my subconscious and making me dream I’m a dog or something.’_ A knock at my door startles me from my thoughts.

 

     My dad’s muffled voice calls from the hall, “Hey Laura, you getting up?”

 

     “Yeah, yeah, I’m awake.” I yell back while throwing back the covers. _‘Holy Hufflepuff, it’s freezing in here!’_ I grab a pair of fuzzy socks and save my toes from the cold floor. It’s the end of November and I still haven’t gotten used to the shock of leaving my warm bed. A little later I make my way downstairs after stopping in the bathroom. The sound of dishes clanking together drifts from the kitchen. Turning the corner, I see Dad placing strips of bacon on plates piled with scrambled eggs. He is wearing the usual shirt and tie with his badge hanging from his neck.

 

     He smiles at me and tilts his head toward the cabinet above the stove, “Grab the mugs, I already made the hot chocolate.”

 

     Instead of opening the cabinet, I sheepishly take my TARDIS mug from the sink. Dad just shakes his head in mock disappointment. I came down last night after waking from that weird dream. It’s not my fault hot chocolate is the only thing I’ve found that calms me down. I fill my mug to the top and pour the rest of the pot into his Silas PD travel mug. He carries both plates over to the table and slides mine to me when I sit down opposite him. I slide his mug towards him at the same time. We both giggle at the familiarity of the routine.

 

     “You know, one day one of us is going to miss and we’ll have a huge mess on our hands,” he says with a wide grin on his face.

 

     “Well,” I reply around the piece of bacon hanging from my mouth, “When, I mean _if_ , that ever happens, I am deciding now, that both parties are responsible for clean up.”

 

     “That’s just because you will be the one to miss.” He laughs.

 

     I attempt to glare at him, but he just laughs harder when the eggs fall off the fork I’m lifting to my mouth. His laugh is infectious, even more so since I know he’s right, and soon we are both wiping tears from our eyes. The next few minutes are quiet, save the scraping of forks and the radio playing softly. A wide yawn takes me by surprise and I lean back in my chair from the force of it. Dad’s eyes widen in concern as he looks at me.

 

     “You feeling okay kiddo? Get enough sleep?” he asks.

 

     I nod my head and wave off the questions. “Yeah, I’m fine. Although I think a pack of wolves has moved into the neighborhood.” I say with a laugh.

 

     “A what?!” Dad practically shouts. He dropped his fork and eggs flew onto the table. I jump slightly at the action. _‘Whoa, what’s his deal?’_ I have never seen him look so scared. I mean, he has always been overprotective. I’ve been learning Krav Maga since I was eight and he always makes sure I have a day-of-the-week can of bear spray in my backpack. So any thought of me being in danger freaks him out; him being a homicide detective certainly doesn’t help the paranoia either. But all that aside, he is reacting a little strongly to my joke.

 

     “Whoa, Dad, relax. I was kidding. Some neighbor must leave their dogs out at night and they keep me up with their howling. It’s no big deal though,” I add quickly, “I’ll just get some earplugs or something.”

 

     He takes a breath, his shoulders visibly relaxing. “Right, sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Last week some hikers found a body that had been mauled by animals in the woods outside of town and the coroner thinks it was wolves. If you had actually seen some, that wouldn’t have been good.” He says, in what I call his cop voice. Then he grins, “If you want, I can flash my badge around and tell everyone to keep their pets inside.”

 

     Well that explains it. Dad is always more on edge after something bad happens at work. But I definitely don’t want him doing that second thing. That would be more embarrassing than how he made me wear elbow and knee pads while riding my bike till I was fifteen. _‘Well maybe not quite that bad.’_ “Don’t you dare!” I exclaim, “That would be such an abuse of power.”

 

     “Why did I work so hard for it if I can’t even help my favorite daughter get a good night sleep?” He asks, his grin growing.

 

     “I’m your only daughter.” I mumble. I glance at the clock, _‘Oh shoot, I gotta hurry up.’_ Quickly finishing my eggs, I gulp down the last of my hot chocolate. Dad finishes his breakfast as well. He grabs our plates and takes my mug when I hand it to him.

 

     “Doesn’t mean you’re not my favorite.” He kisses the top of my head on the way to drop the dishes in the sink. He puts his jacket on and grabs his coat off the hook. “Alright kid, I’m headed out. Have a fun time at school. This is the last week before Thanksgiving break, right?”

 

     A smile splits my face at his reminder. “Oh yeah, it is! Man, I really need this break.” I say, suddenly not as tired as before. He chuckles at my new-found excitement. “Have a good day at work. See you later!” I give him a quick hug and run upstairs to get dressed. I hear him yell goodbye as he walks out the door. Once in my room, I start looking through my closet for something to wear. I don’t want to be cold on top of tired today, so I pick out my warmest sweater and some skinny jeans. It doesn’t take me long to finish getting ready. I just tame the frizzy mess my dirty blonde hair became overnight and put on a little make-up. I’m putting my books in my backpack when I hear my phone vibrate on my bed.

 

**[Laf]: _Hey L! Don’t forget our lab write-ups ;)_**

_‘Dang it, how did they know?’_ I grab Laf’s Bio folder off my desk.

**[Laura]: _Of course not, when have I ever let you down?_**

**[Laf]: _We really don’t have time to get into that, haha. The bus is gonna be here soon._**

     They’re right, about both things. I shove my boots on my feet and wrap a scarf around my neck. I take my lunch from the fridge, lock the front door behind me, and run down the street to the bus stop. It’s my senior year and I’m going to be eighteen in a few weeks, but will my dad let me get my driver’s license? Nope. Too dangerous he says. He says no matter how careful I am; it won’t help if someone else is careless. Luckily, Laf’s parents won’t let them drive either, something about them being accident prone. Which is probably a good thing actually. There do seem to be an abnormal amount of explosions when they’re around. They don’t complain though. They are more than happy to ride the bus everyday as long as Perry is riding with them. Perry has been their best friend since they were both five, and they have been inseparable just as long. Perry doesn’t have her license because, well, Laf doesn’t.

 

     I get to the corner panting and out of breath. LaFontaine and Perry are already there. Perry waves cheerfully as I slow to a stop next to them. I am normally a pretty upbeat person, but I will never understand how she seems to wake up on the right side of the bed every day.

 

     “Good morning Laura! How was your weekend?” Perry asks.

 

     I smile widely at her, “Morning Perry! My weekend was great. Dad and I just sat around watching old movies. Oh, and I finished my English paper.”

 

     “That’s wonderful dear. Maybe you can help LaFontaine with theirs.” The look she sends Laf’s way is one of a disappointed mother and I can’t help but laugh.

 

     She holds my lunch while I open my backpack. After my lunch is away, I hold up the folder I carried all the way there. Laf takes it from my outstretched hand. “See, didn’t forget.” I say smugly.

 

     “That’s why you were carrying it in your hand, not your bag.” They say, smirking and shaking their head. Perry smacks their arm. “Ow Perr. Thanks L.” They slide the folder into their messenger bag just as the bus pulls up.

 

     We all get on and head to the back. Perry and LaFontaine sit next to each other while I stretch out in the seat across the aisle. A yawn escapes my lips as I lean my head back against the window. I close my eyes and I rest my hands on my stomach.

 

     “Late night with the Doctor?”

 

     I crack one eye open and see an amused Laf and concerned Perry looking at me. “I went to bed at a reasonable time, thank you very much.” I say indignantly. _‘And I’ve been re-watching Orphan Black lately.’_ Two sets of eyebrows raise skeptically. I huff out a breath in defeat, “Okay not really, but it was some neighborhood dogs that kept me up, not Doctor Who. Do you guys hear them? My dad never does and I don’t know how that’s possible. Those dang dogs are so loud. It’s like they are right outside my window, and once I’m up I can’t fall back asleep. They howl all night long, how do you not-”

 

     “Whoa there, L. Take a breath.” Laf reaches across the aisle and grabs my hands, which had begun to wave about frantically during my rant. “What are you talking about? I’m only a street over and I didn’t hear any howling dogs.” They look at Perry, “Did you?”

 

     Perry, who lives next to Laf, shakes her head, “Sorry sweetie.”

 

     I frown. LaFontaine not hearing anything isn’t much of a surprise, they sleep like the dead. But Perry not hearing anything either? That’s just weird. She’s the lightest sleeper I’ve ever met. _‘Oh God, what if it’s hellhounds? That would explain why only I can hear them!’_ I physically shake the thoughts from my head. Clearly I have watched way too much Supernatural. _‘Plus, unless I made a deal with a crossroads demon when I was seven, there’s no reason for hellhounds to be after me.’_ I cover my face with my hands and groan softly. Sometimes I concern myself with how big a dork I am. Of course I find comfort in the fact that I haven’t sold my soul, not the fact that demons and hellhounds aren’t even real.

 

     “Hey, I can come over and soundproof your bedroom window if you want.” Laf says excitedly, “J.P. and I have been working on a sound-absorbing goo to use in the science labs. That way the whole school won’t freak out every time something explodes.” They rub their chin thoughtfully, “Although, lately it has been the goo that explodes. Which doesn’t even make sense since considering the chemicals we’ve been using…” They trail off and reach down into their bag, pulling out a folder full of papers covered with notes I have no hope of ever understanding. Their brow furrows and I know they’ve gone into “science mode”.

 

     Perry looks at them affectionately and I just chuckle. Closing my eyes again, I hope a short nap will keep me from yawning all day. Twenty minutes later the bus jerks to a stop, throwing me sideways and onto the floor. Laf erupts into hysterical giggles at the sight. I get up and brush myself off. Then I shove them back into their seat and run off the bus holding in giggles of my own.

 

     “Seriously, how old are the two of you?” I hear Perry ask.

 

~/~

 

     I drop my backpack on the floor and collapse into my chair. Then I drop my head onto my desk. My English and History classrooms are right across the hall from each other. So, I’m always the first to my second period English class. Which is good, because I need a moment to recharge. I think I fell asleep three times while Mr. Harrison was lecturing, my notes are full of blank spaces. He follows the book almost word for word, so I will just have to read the chapter more carefully tonight. I can’t do that with Ms. Cochrane though. She likes to have class discussions on the reading assigned the day before. She’s my favorite teacher, and the faculty advisor for the school newspaper, so I like to participate as much as possible. I hear shuffling at the front of the room. Ms. Cochrane always wears heels, so I know it’s not her. I plan on keeping my eyes closed until I hear the telltale clicks.

 

     The shuffling stops and someone clears their throat, “Uh, are you Laura Hollis?”

 

     I lift my head off the desk and, I swear, my jaw hits it immediately after. Standing in front of me is the most impossibly tall and beautiful girl I have ever seen. Most people are tall compared to me, being a whopping 5’2”, but this girl is _tall_. My eyes trail up mile-long legs clad in jeans, a red and white baseball tee, a friendly smile, and long red hair. I’m getting lost in her bright blue eyes when I realize I have been staring for at least a minute.

 

     “Oh-um-yeah, that’s me. Hollis, Laura Hollis.” I say quickly. _‘Smooth Hollis, smooth.’_

     The girl just smiles wider at me. “Oh good. Ms. Cochrane said you would be the first one in here. Although, she made you sound like a ball of sunshine.” She says the last part questioningly.

 

     “Well not getting enough sleep tends to do this to me,” I explain, “but she’s right, I am usually much more cheerful. This is only temporary”

 

     “I look forward to seeing that. I was also told you would be able to tell me where to put my stuff and where she puts the warm-up sheets. I’m Danny, by the way, Danny Lawrence. I’ll be Cochrane’s new aid.” She steps forward and holds out her hand.

 

     I almost trip over my bag in my haste to stand up and shake the offered hand. “Nice to meet you Danny. You can sit over here.” I lead her over to a table covered in papers and books. “This is where Ms. Cochrane has us turn in all our assignments. Each class is supposed to have its own tray, but the table is kind of a mess right now. Maybe you can help her out with that.” I say with a laugh. She hums in agreement and starts to clear a space for herself. I grab a spare chair and drag it over. “So, the warm-up sheets are in a folder on her desk,” I gesture towards the front of the room, “and she usually hands them to us as we come in. Which she might have you do now.”

 

     The bell rings just as I finish talking. I turn around and realize all the other kids in my class had come in. Ms. Cochrane entered at some point too and was telling everyone to take their seats. Danny shoots me a smile and make my way back to my desk. After introducing Danny to the class, Cochrane starts talking about the warm-up for the day. Danny hands out the worksheets and I can’t help but smile when I take mine. The rest of the period goes by quickly. I feel much more awake by the time the bell rings an hour and a half later. I don’t know if it’s because of the lively discussion, or a certain redhead I kept glancing at. After I pack up my stuff I look for Danny. She’s talking to Cochrane so I just wave to her on my way out the door. She gives me a small wave in return. I walk into the cafeteria with a smile on my face and the usual bounce in my step. I make my way through the crowded tables to where Laf and Perry are already sitting. I plop onto the bench and greet them cheerfully.

 

     “Look who is all smiley and bouncy again.” Laf says around a mouthful of their sandwich. “Have a good class?”

 

     I feel the blush coloring my cheeks as Danny’s smile flashes through my head. “Well, since you aske-” I’m interrupted by a very large body sliding along the bench and crashing into me.

 

     “Wassup little nerd hottie!” Kirsch throws an arm around my shoulders and squeezes me into his side. “Long time no see bros.” He raises his other hand to high-five LaFontaine. Perry nods and says hello.

 

     “Hey Kirsch. Congrats on the win Friday.” I say breathlessly to the giant puppy-like guy next to me, “And can you let go a little, I can’t breathe.”

 

     “Oh sorry bro. I forget how small you are sometimes.” He laughs while releasing me. LaFontaine started laughing at the irritated look on my face and ends up choking on the sip of water they tried to swallow.

 

     I glare at them while Perry rubs their back. “You are only like, an inch or two taller than me. You have no room to talk.” I cross my arms over my chest.

 

     “Taller is taller, little L.” Laf replies once they can breathe again. At this, Kirsch raises his hand for another high-five and the two of them laugh at how touchy I am about my size.

 

     “But anyway, dude, you gotta help me out with the assignment on that Beobab guy. Cochrane is making your class read it too, right?” Kirsch pleads.

 

     “You mean Beowulf? Sure, I can help with that. I finished my paper already anyway. Just text me when you’re free later and I’ll come over.”

 

     “Thanks Laura! Practice tonight is gonna be killer since coach doesn’t want us to slack off just ‘cause we won, but I’ll text you tomorrow for sure.” He wraps me in another bone-breaking hug, only letting go when someone calls his name across the cafeteria.

 

     “Kirsch! Get over here! Cooper is trying to fit thirty tater tots in his mouth!”

 

     “No way, I totally gotta see this.” Kirsch jumps up from the table and takes a few steps before turning back to us, “Thanks again little hottie, see ya later!” Then he rushes over to a table of his fellow football players to cheer on the guy stuffing his face.

 

     “Well that is just completely childish.” Perry mutters while neatly folding up her napkin.

 

     I look at Laf and neither of us can keep a straight face for very long, laughing till our sides hurt. Perry just huffs at us and continues cleaning up the table. After that lunch goes by as usual. We talk about our weekends, Laf’s latest experiment, how Perry had to help clean up said experiment, and anything else we think of until it’s time to go to our next class.

 

~/~

 

     When I finally collapse on my bed, after finishing my homework, I am looking forward to getting some much needed sleep. My stomach is full of the pizza Dad picked up on the way home from work, grape soda, and an unhealthy number of chocolate chip cookies. Dad also got me some earplugs from the drug store. I put them in and burrow into my blankets. Between the warmth and my exhaustion, I drift off minutes after closing my eyes.

 

     I wake up gasping for breath, the moon from my dream seared on the backs of my eyelids. My alarm clock says it’s one o’clock in the morning. _‘Two and a half hours, I think that’s a new record.’_ I lay on my back, chest slowing to a normal pace, willing myself to fall back to sleep. After twenty minutes of counting sheep I give up. Avoiding the steps that creak, I make my way down to the kitchen. The moon is bright enough that I don’t have to turn on the lights. I rinse out my TARDIS mug and fill it with water. While the mug is in the microwave, it’s quieter than the tea pot, I get the hot chocolate mix out of the pantry. Mixing it all together, I take the steaming mug over to the window above the sink. The sky tonight looks the same as it does in my dream, with the moon outshining the stars. _‘It’s beautiful.’_   I stare at it for a minute or two when the desire to be outside washes over me. The walls of my house suddenly feel like they are closing in on me. My chest tightens and I put my half-empty mug in the sink. Throwing on a hoodie and my boots, I slip quietly out the front door with my keys in my pocket.

 

     I am a couple streets from my house when I realize I have no idea where I’m going. Spinning in place, I look around for some kind of destination. The park behind the neighborhood pool catches my attention. _‘I’ll go swing for a little while and go back home.’_ As I approach the little playground I’m startled by a sound from above me. Stepping back, I look up at the roof and see someone laying up there. _‘Who comes to the park at this hour? Besides me, obviously.’_  Their arms are bent behind their head and their legs are crossed at the ankles. Unnoticed, I take a moment to assess the mysterious figure. All I take in is a lot of black clothing and dark curls before a low voice sends chills down my spine.

 

     “Like what you see, cutie?”

 

     My breath audibly catches in my throat. Oh, dark and mysterious is a girl. A girl with a voice that literally took my breath away. A girl who just caught me staring at her like a creep. Great. _“Get it together Hollis! Say something!’_

 

     “Yes.” _‘Really? Anything but that!’_ “I mean no. Well, not no as in I don’t like what you look like, because I do. I mean no as in I wasn’t looking at you because I think you’re attractive. Actually, I can’t even really see you. So I don’t know if you’re attractive or not. You sound attractive, like really attractive. I just mean you don’t look like a creeper, which is good. Oh God,I totally look like creeper. Sneaking up on you at night and staring. I am so sorry. I’m gonna go. Sorry for disturbing you.” The words pour out of me without pause or permission. I turn around so the girl can’t see how red my face is turning and start to walk away.

 

     I hear a dull thud behind me and then I feel a cold hand wrap around my wrist. I turn around to look at her. A cloud must have been in front of the moon and moved just as our gazes locked on each other. If her voice takes my breath away, her dark eyes makes me forget how to breathe in the first place. They glint like obsidian in the moonlight and I could stare into them for hours. She breaks eye contact to rake her gaze up and down my body. My breath finally decides to return, although shortened and hitched. I feel my blush deepening further under her scrutiny. While she takes me in, I do the same. And I was right, she is really attractive.

 

     Dark hair hangs down past her shoulders, curling at the ends, framing her face. Eyeliner and red lipstick stand out against her ivory skin. She has her hands in the pockets of her black leather jacket. The words on the black shirt she is wearing underneath are so faded I can’t read them, but it looks like a band tee. Black skinny jeans, with rips at the knees, end at a pair of worn out black combat boots. So basically she’s gorgeous. Like drop dead gorgeous.

 

     Her eyes catch mine again when I look back up at her face. Red lips stretch into a smug smirk. “Well, I definitely like what I see, cupcake. I’d take looking at you over the stars any day.” She leans forward so her lips are brushing up my neck. My heart is beating so fast I fear I’m going to pass out if she stays this close. Then her breath is ghosting over my ear. “You are far too cute to ever be considered a disturbance.” She whispers. The scent of spearmint and old books invades my brain. _‘Yup, totally gonna pass out. Any second now.’_ I feel her fingers on my chin and she closes my mouth, which had fallen open at some point. She brushes past me with a wink. The confidence coming off of her is almost tangible.

 

     I turn and try, really try, not to ogle her butt as she moves towards a nearby bench. I fail, epically. But it is impossible not to. Those pants hug all the right places and the way her hips are swaying is practically hypnotic. She glances over her shoulder, smirk growing when she sees that my mouth has once again fallen open. She sits down, resting an ankle on the knee of the opposite leg. Her arms stretch out across the back of the bench and causes her jacket to fall open. My eyes drop to her chest. I can now make out the Guns N’ Roses logo on her shirt. My fading blush comes back with a vengeance when I hear her chuckle.

 

     “You gonna join me, cupcake? Or do you need a minute?” A perfect eyebrow raises in question.

 

     “Cupcake?”

 

     “I don’t know your name, cutie, and…” She looks pointedly at my legs.

 

     I follow her gaze and look down at myself. _‘Holy frickin’ Christmas cake.’_ I completely forgot I’m still wearing my pajamas. I’m in my oversized Hufflepuff hoodie and flannel pants with smiling cupcakes all over them. _‘This cannot be happening right now.’_

     The girl laughs and a genuine smile brightens up her face. “Oh it is, and it’s the most adorable thing I have ever seen.”

 

     My hand flies to cover my mouth. I said that out loud. “Just stake me now.” I groan.

 

     Her face softens and she pats the bench next to her. “Come here. It’s not like you can embarrass yourself more.”

 

     “You shouldn’t underestimate me.” I mutter, sitting down. I’m careful to not be too close to her. I don’t think my still racing heart can take much more.

 

     She laughs again and I decide that it’s my new favorite sound. She shifts her body slightly so that she’s facing me. The arm on the back of the bench falls a little and I can feel it barely touching the tops of my shoulders. She cocks her head to the side and looks at me, smirk back in place. I just look back her, unable to name the emotion in her eyes. The way she switches from blatantly flirting to quietly contemplating is giving me emotional whiplash. The silence stretches out. I fidget nervously, wringing my hands in my lap, until it becomes clear she isn’t going to go first.

 

     I suddenly thrush my hand at her, her eyes widening in surprise. “Laura Hollis. Nice to meet you.” I say. I cringe slightly at how loud my voice sounds compared to the quiet that previously surrounded us.

 

     She stares at my hand for a moment before taking it in her own. “Carmilla Karnstein.”

 

 _'No fair, even her name is pretty.’_ I don’t know when, but at some point she moved closer to me. Her knee is now pressing lightly on my thigh and her arm fully across my shoulders. I know I should be warier of this practical stranger being so far in my personal space. My dad would have a freaking fit if he could see us right now. But Carmilla’s eyes are on mine again, and all I can think about is how soft her hand was in mine.

 

     “So, Laura Hollis, what brings a pretty girl like you out to this little park in the middle of the night?” she asks.

 

     The moon is shining on her hair and reflecting in her eyes, momentarily distracting me. I lower my head to hide my blush, again, while processing the question. She’s smiling at me when I look back up. There it is again, that switch. It’s like she’s trying to hide something behind all that bravado and sarcasm. _‘That is working about as well as me trying not to look at her butt.’_ I’ve seen two different sides of Carmilla so far. The first oozes confidence and sex appeal. I have no doubt she could get any girl, or guy, with just a look. The second is the reason I found her on the roof of the playground, looking up at the stars. I want to be able to define this side of her. _‘The side that is currently looking at me like we are the only people on Earth.’_ The knot of nerves in my stomach is replaced by a literal swarm of butterflies. _‘Fudge. I am so gay.’_

     “I couldn’t sleep and the sky looked so beautiful, so I decided to take a- a-” I stop mid-sentence when I feel her thumb start to rub circles on my upper arm. By the way she raises her eyebrows, she didn’t miss my stutter. _‘Switch.’_ I’m not going to let her keep messing with me without retaliation. “So, I decided to take a walk. I planned on swinging but I was waylaid by a brooding stranger.” I put my hand on her thigh, moving my thumb back and forth.

 

     Her smirk falters and the hand on my shoulder stills. Then she turns so that our bodies are completely pressed against each other. My heart skips a beat and the butterflies in my stomach turn up the fluttering. Carmilla leans her head back to look up, “It really is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?” She says softly. _‘Switch.’_ “It’s comforting, to think how small we are in comparison. All the lives we’ve led, the people we’ve been, nothing to that light.”

     I rest my head on her shoulder. I hear a quick intake of breath above me and she pulls me into her even more. _‘I thought she would feel warmer, weird.’_ I breathe in spearmint and old books again and the smile that spreads across my face must be massive. I’m not sure how long we stay like this, but I know I have never felt so comfortable with someone so shortly after meeting them. I feel a yawn coming on and try to stifle it with my hand. Carmilla must hear the muted squeak that escapes my fingers. She laughs softly.

 

     “C’mon, sweetheart. It’s late.” She pulls her phone from an inside pocket of her jacket. “Really late. You should be getting home.”

 

     She stands up, raises her arms above her head, and stretches her back. Her shirt rides up and I see how low her pants are sitting on her hips. I can’t take my eyes off the dimples that appear just above her waistband. _‘Where did she even find pants that fit that well.’_

     “Take a picture, cutie. It’ll last longer.” She smirks at me over her shoulder. _‘Switch.’_

     Then she turns and offers me a hand up. Carmilla doesn’t let go once I’m standing and I’m certainly not going to. We walk across the park to the sidewalk. I hesitate, looking down at our hands. She runs her thumb over my knuckles. I lift my head to find her staring at me intently.

 

     “Take a picture. It’ll last longer.” I say, my voice lower than I intended.

 

     “Don’t tempt me.” She replies, stepping closer. “Give me your phone.”

 

     “What?”

 

     “Your phone, creampuff. Let me see it.”

 

      I slip my hand into the pocket of my hoodie and only find my house keys. I start frantically patting my clothes.

 

     “Uh, everything okay?” Carmilla places her hand lightly on my bicep.

 

     “I must have forgotten my phone in my room.”

 

     “Oh. Well then,” She pulls her phone back out, “I guess I have to ask for your number, instead of giving you mine.”

 

     My cheeks redden when I realize what she means. I take her phone and send a text to myself. She smiles softly at me. Then she takes my hand again, pulling me into her. Her free hand slides over my hip to rest on my lower back. _‘Cue the butterflies.’_ She’s staring at my lips and I have to remember to breathe. The combat boots give her a couple inches on me, Carmilla has to lower her head towards mine. My eyes flutter closed in anticipation. I gasp at the feel of her cool, soft lips against my cheek.

 

     “Give me a call next time you can’t sleep, cutie. I’ll be more than happy to take a walk with you.” She whispers, releasing me.

 

      I don’t move for a moment. My emotions are going haywire. My thoughts are scrambled. My skin burns everywhere she touched me. When I open my eyes she is walking down the sidewalk in the opposite direction of my house.

 

     “Carm!” I shout. _‘Carm? Where did that come from?’_ She pivots on her heel, eyebrow raised. “Thank you. For sitting with me. We should, uh, do it again sometime.” _‘Well that was eloquent.’_

 

     She drops her gaze and kicks at the ground for a moment. _‘Switch’_ “I think I might like that very much.” She answers. The shy smile on her face bringing a wide one to mine.

 

     “Okay then!” I turn around and focus on not doing my happy dance in case she’s still watching.

 

     The smile doesn’t leave my face the whole way home. I open the front door as quietly as I can and lock it behind me. I dive for my phone as soon as I’m in my room. Picking it up off the nightstand, I see the message I sent.

 

**[Unknown]: _Carmilla Karnstein_**

****

     I save her number. After a moment I go back and change her name. Getting under the covers, I sigh contently. Hopefully my usual dream is replaced with Carmilla’s laughter and shy smile. I’m on the brink of sleep when my phone vibrates.

 

**[Carm]: _Same time tomorrow, cupcake?_**

****

**[Cupcake]: _It’s a date :)_ **

     I stare wide-eyed at my phone. What did I just do?

 

**__ **


	2. Journalist Mode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is almost 3000 words longer than the first.
> 
> Thanks for the kudos!

** 2 **

** Journalist Mode **

****

     It takes a minute or two for my alarm to wake me. Sitting up, I arch and stretch my back, feeling multiple pops. Luckily I had the forethought to sleep in socks, so I’m able to put my feet on the floor safely. As soon as I’m standing the memory of last night hits me like a blow and I fall back onto the bed. I don’t think the smile on my face will be going away anytime soon. _‘Laf and Perry are never going to believe me…wait, my phone!’_ There they are, three messages, simultaneously the best and worst things to ever happen to me. A date? What was I thinking? Our whole conversation consisted of her flirting and me stumbling over every word that came out of my mouth. We are still basically strangers. All I know about her is her name, she likes the stars, and has an affinity for pet names. ‘ _Oh, and her face is perfect.’_ It is seriously unfair how defined her jawline and cheekbones are. I really wish I had gotten a picture, because I don’t think my friends will be able to fully comprehend the significance of the texts without seeing her. A Greek goddess asked to hang out for a second time, and I called it a date. _‘With a smiley face!’_

 

     My smile fades sooner than I thought. She didn’t respond afterwards. That could mean anything though, right? Maybe she fell asleep, it was pretty late. Or, she was so excited she forgot to answer. _‘Yeah okay.’_ Most likely she realized how big a mistake she made giving her number to the awkward girl in cupcake pajama pants. I run my hands down my face. I’m getting myself worked up over nothing. So, what if she decides she doesn’t want to see me again? It’s no big deal, I don’t even know her.

 

     ‘ _But I want to.’_ I can’t remember the last time I wanted something this much. Carmilla was so shy when I thanked her. I feel this intense need to see more of that side. _‘Why was she out so late?’_

 

     Suddenly, I realize I haven’t heard Dad once in the time I’ve been up. I throw on the hoodie I took off before crawling in bed last night, and my smile comes right back. I don’t hear anything as I go down stairs. Entering the kitchen, I find it empty. There’s a note in blocky handwriting stuck to the fridge.

**Hey kiddo,**

**Sorry I didn’t have time to make you breakfast. I had to go to the station early, a case came in last night. There is still some waffle batter from Sunday you can use.**

**Love you,**

**Dad**

**P.S. cookies are not for breakfast.**

     Dad doesn’t like to talk to me about his job. He thinks he’s protecting my innocence or something. I hate it. It’s not like I don’t know what he does, Homicide Detective is kind of self-explanatory. Not telling me about the horrors of the real world won’t save me from them. Eventually I will have to leave the safety bubble he has built around me. At this point I would settle for him just saying there was a murder, instead of saying he has a case. It makes me feel like a child, like he thinks I won’t be able to handle it. Maybe I can get some more details out of him when he comes home for dinner.

 

     I open the fridge and take out the batter. I get the waffle maker from the pantry and plug it in. While it’s heating up I pour myself a glass of milk. Seeing my abandoned mug in the sink, I remember the strange desire to be outside that overcame me last night. I look out the window and see the sun coming up over the trees. The sky is beautiful in such a different way now. It’s alive with color and warmth, full of possibilities. At night it’s much more serene, the darkness has a purity that’s calming. _‘I wonder if that’s how Carm sees it?’_ The waffle maker beeps, distracting me from my thoughts. I pour in some batter and wait for the waffle to cook. I sit at the table and pull out my phone.

 

**[Laura]: _I have something crazy to tell you both._**

**[Laf]: _Does it have anything to do with why you were so smiley at lunch yesterday?_**

**[Perry]: _LaFontaine, let her tell us._**

**[Laura]: _It’s okay Perr. But no, it’s about something that happened last night. I’ll tell you on the bus._**

****

     I finish my breakfast and put a pot of water on the stove to boil. After getting dressed, a blouse and cardigan today, I look critically at myself in the bathroom mirror. Carmilla was positively leering when we first met. _‘What did she see?’_ Brown eyes, slightly wavy dirty blond hair, rounded nose – I’m nothing special. Not like her anyway. Puberty did help me out in the curves department, _‘Not so much with the height.’_ But she couldn’t have seen anything through my oversized hoodie. Someone like her shouldn’t have given someone like me a second glance. I roughly shake my head. No, don’t think like that. Focus on how she held me while we sat on the bench. Focus on the fact that she didn’t even wait 10 minutes after walking away to text me. My chest tightens and my stomach swoops at the thought. _‘Yeah that may have worked too well.’_

 

     A quick glance at my phone shows I’m behind schedule again. I pull my hair into a low, side ponytail that drapes over my shoulder and brush my teeth. I grab my bag out of my room, luckily I packed it before going to bed last night. Once in the kitchen I take the water off the stove. I take a travel mug from the cabinet and dump hot chocolate mix into it. I pour in the steaming water till it reaches the top. Mixing it together and screwing on the lid, I put the mug in the mesh pocket on the side of my backpack. I put my lunch in too. I get a bag and toss a couple cookies into it. _‘What Dad doesn’t know won’t hurt me.’_

I manage to get to the bus stop on time without having to run. Perry and LaFontaine are already there, as usual. Laf starts to practically bounce in place when they see me approaching. Perry says something and they still, but only for a moment. When I reach the corner I look up the street to check for the bus. Seeing nothing, I pull out my cookies and hot chocolate.

 

     “Laura, cookies are not for breakfast.” Perry admonishes.

 

     I giggle a little at how much she sounds like my dad. “I had a real breakfast, I just wanted a little snack.” The cookie already in my mouth garbles my words. Perry frowns and starts to argue when Laf speaks up.

 

     “Yeah, yeah, we all know about Laura’s diabetes-inducing eating habits. What do you need to tell us?” They have clearly been restraining themselves since I walked up.

 

     On cue, a huge smile lights up my face. Thinking about Carmilla tends to do that. “I met a girl last night, and I may or may not have been asked out. I kinda need your help with that actually.”

 

     “Way to go, L! I knew it was a girl.” They turn to Perry with a smug grin, “Told ya.”

 

     “Yes, good job sweetie. Now Laura, who is she?

 

     “Her name is Carmilla. I met her at the playground behind the pool, the one by the woods.” I explain before taking a sip from my mug, the drink having cooled off enough.

 

     “Interesting name,” LaFontaine reaches into the bag and takes a cookie, “does she go to our school?”

 

     “I don’t know.”

 

     “How old is she?” Perry asks.

 

     “I don’t know.”

 

     “Did she just move here? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a Carmilla.” Laf asks around a second cookie.

 

     “I don’t know. This is why I need your help.” I say desperately. “I was so distracted by her, uh, pants and flirting that I never actually asked her anything about herself.”

 

     “Her pants, huh? Laf snickers.

 

     “Be nice.” Perry says, digging her elbow into their ribs. She turns back to me. “What do you mean by may or may not have been asked out?”

 

     I sigh, “I said we should hang out again sometime and then she texted me, well, look.” I hold up my phone, displaying the messages. I continue as they read, “She was really flirty, but it seemed natural. As if she’s like that all the time. So maybe it doesn’t mean anything. But then there were moments where her whole demeanor changed and she was so open. So maybe it does mean something. Either way I need you to help me come up with a plan to learn more about her and not get distracted.”

 

     The bus pulls up, brakes screeching, keeping my rambling from continuing. We take our seats in the back. I lay across the seat, but this time I hang one leg off so I won’t end up on the floor again.

 

     “You know; this could be a way to practice your interview skills.” Laf says thoughtfully. “Getting all the information you want, while being flirted with, would be great experience.”

 

     “LaFontaine, you’re a genius! I just need to make a list of questions and focus on getting her to answer them.” I reach into my backpack, I pull out the notebook I use for the Voice of Silas, the school newspaper, and a pen. Flipping to a blank page, I write ‘Getting to Know Carmilla Karnstein’ at the top.

 

     “Just make sure you don’t go full on ‘journalist mode’ there, Laur.”

 

     I glance at them, “What?”

 

     “You can get a little…intense sometimes.” Perry explains.

 

     “Me? Intense?” I scoff.

 

     “Dude, remember how you totally freaked out Natalie after the library incident last year?” Laf asks, trying to keep a straight face.

 

     I cringe a little as I recall how Natalie wouldn’t talk to anyone for days after I interviewed her for the paper. “Hey, they never proved that was my fault. Besides, Carmilla is mentally stable and she hasn’t been through any traumatizing events lately. That I know of. I mean, she seems totally fine.” I say, trying to reassure myself more than them.

 

     “We’re just letting you know to be careful. I’m sure it will be fine.” Perry gives me an encouraging smile. LaFontaine does too, after a sharp nudge.

 

     I nod my head and get back to thinking of questions for my date(?) tonight.

 

~/~

 

     I am much more alert in class today. Even though I still didn’t get that much sleep, the couple hours I got were the best in weeks. I even managed to stay focused through Mr. Harrison’s whole lecture. Which means first period went by agonizingly slow. At one point, my ponytail brushed against my neck. A shiver went my down my spine when I thought of Carmilla’s lips doing the same thing. When did she so thoroughly invade my thoughts.

 

     Danny is already sitting at the table when I walk into English. Her eyes light up when she sees me. I set my bag by my desk and head towards her. She smiles when I hop up on the table, swinging my legs.

 

     "How did you possibly beat me here?” I ask. “My first class is right across the hall.”

 

     Danny leans back in the chair, stretching out her legs. “Well that explains how Cochrane knew you would be the first one in here yesterday. I have a gym class first and the teacher doesn’t care if we leave early after changing. Since this room is empty, I’d rather wait here than the locker room.” She says with a shrug.

 

     “Oh cool! What class?” I smile widely as she tells me about strength training. I can’t help but notice how different I feel today. Yesterday I was a nervous, bumbling mess. _‘Guess I met my weekly quota for embarrassing myself in front of beautiful girls with Carmilla.’_ “I have to admit,” I say when she finishes, “Besides the mandatory freshmen fitness course, I’ve never taken a gym class.”

 

     “Not into sports, Hollis?”

 

     I grin sheepishly. “I’m not exactly what you would call coordinated. So it’s safer for everyone if I stay away from heavy objects and projectiles.

 

     She barks out a laugh. “I’ll take your word for it.” She stands up and looks around the room. “I Should probably start handing out the warm-ups.”

 

     I nod in agreement and go back to my seat. Ms. Cochrane comes in and tells us that she is going to give us today to work on our papers. Since I already finished mine, I pull out my list of questions for Carmilla.

 

     “Laura, can I talk to you for a minute?”

 

     I lift my head to see Ms. Cochrane looking at me expectantly. Getting up, I think of any possible reason I could be in trouble.

           

     “You are friends with Wilson Kirsch, right?”

 

     ' _Well that was unexpected.’_ “Yes, I am.”

 

     “Wonderful. I want you to interview him for the Voice. Miss Lawrence as well, since she just moved here. Get two different perspectives on the sports teams here at Silas. What do you think?” She asks.

 

     I nod excitedly. “That sounds great! I know Kirsch will love being featured.”

 

     “Alright. Can you have something for me after break?”

 

     “Of course. I’ll start right away.”

 

     She nods, dismissing me. I grab my notebook and head back to where Danny is sorting through papers.

 

     “Shouldn’t you be working on your paper?” She asks when I sit on the table again, propping the notebook on my crossed knees.

 

     “I already finished it.” I say with a wave of my pen. “Ms. Cochrane just asked me to interview you for the Voice. So, would you be willing to do an interview with me, Miss Lawrence? I ask in my best reporter voice.

 

     “Why Miss Hollis, it would be my pleasure!” She places her hand on her chest playfully.

 

     I tap my pen against my chin. “Let’s start with basic background information.” Danny hums her agreement. “I know your name, and I’m assuming you are a senior since you’re an aid.” I raise my eyebrow at her, a silent question. Danny nods her head in confirmation. “Great. So, a source tells me you just moved here,” She giggles at my serious tone, “Where did you transfer from?”

 

     “Austria.”

 

     “What?! Really? That’s so cool.” My hands are waving and I accidentally throw my pen, which nearly hits her.

 

     She raises her hands to protect her face. “I see what you mean about staying away from projectiles. You’re dangerous Hollis.” Laughing, she hands me back the pen. “But yeah, Austria. My…family, has a lot of land in the mountains of Salzburg. I was born here in the states and raised there.”

 

     I write down what she says. I also make a note to look at a map of Austria later. I continue to ask her questions for the rest of class, filling multiple pages. She follows me to my desk when the bell rings and stands watching me pack up my stuff.

 

     “Would you mind if I sit with you at lunch? Yesterday I spent it talking to the cross country coach, so I didn’t have to worry about it.” She stares at her shoes while she asks.

 

     I reach up and place my hand on her forearm. “Of course you can sit with me. I’ll introduce you to Perry and LaFontaine, you’ll like them.

 

     She smiles gratefully and we start walking to the cafeteria. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Danny clears her throat.

 

     “Uh, are you doing anything later? I was going see where everything is in town and I’m sure it would be easier with guide.”

 

     “I would love to, but I have plans already. I’m helping my friend Kirsch with his paper for English.

 

     “Oh, okay. Another time then.” Her face falls.

 

     “How ‘bout tomorrow?” I ask hopefully.

 

     I can’t help but smile at how quickly her face lights back up.

 

~/~

 

     I fling my backpack onto the couch in the family room and fling myself down next to it. Dad looks over in surprise. He is sitting in his leather recliner reading what looks like a case report.

 

     “Rough study session?”

 

     Instead of responding, I groan and slump further into the cushions.

 

     He gives a light laugh. “Gotcha. So, I was thinking burgers for dinner. Might as well use the grill while we still can.”

 

     This gets me to sit up. “Have I told you how much I love you?”

 

     “Yes, but I don’t mind hearing it again.”

 

     I cross the room and kiss his cheek. “I love you.” Then I grab his hands and try to pull him from the chair. “Now let’s get started on dinner, I’m starving.”

 

     He gets up and throws me over his shoulder, his deep laugh filling the room. He carries me into the kitchen, spinning around a couple times, before placing me on the counter.

 

     “How did it go with Kirsch?” He gets a few patties from the fridge. I hand him a plate from the cabinet above me.

 

     “It would have been better if he could remember the main character’s name. Or if he could sit still for more than five minutes. I gave up when he suggested we just watch the movie where ‘Beobab gets it on with the chick from Tomb Raider’ and tried to look it up on Netflix.” I say, banging my head back against the cabinet.

 

     Dad walks out the back door onto the deck. I drop down and follow him. He starts up the grill. “Did you manage to help him at all?” He asks, putting the patties over the flames.

 

     “Nope.” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t think I can even tell you what we did for the whole hour and a half I was there.”

 

     He just laughs. “That’s Kirsch for you.” He comes over to where I am leaning against the railing and leans next to me. His brow is furrowed and he is struggling to keep a frown from his lips. His mouth opens and closes repeatedly, like he can’t decide if he wants to speak or not. He coughs a little to clear his throat and turns to look at me. Based on how nervous he is; I think he wants to tell me about the case he’s working on. I don’t press him; in case he changes his mind.

 

     “A man was murdered this morning.”

 

_‘Holy Hufflepuff, that was easy.’_

     “So I would feel a lot better if you stayed home at night from now on.” I start to protest, but he holds his hand up to cut me off. “I’m not grounding you or anything. You can still hang out with your friends. I would just prefer it be here; or at their house and I know the parents. Can you do that for me?” He looks at me pleadingly.

 

     It breaks my heart seeing him like this. It has been ten years since…since our lives changed forever. I know he just wants to keep me safe so that doesn’t happen again.

 

     “Yeah Dad, of course.” I wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest.

 

     He hugs me tightly for a few minutes. Then he kisses the top of my head. I let go so he can go check on the burgers. He turns around and I go back inside to set the table. I’m taking two cans of grape soda from the fridge when he brings the burgers, already on buns he must have brought out earlier. We sit down in our usual seats across from each other. It’s quiet at first. Neither of us knows how to break it. I eventually do by telling him about the article I’ve been assigned to write. I take our dishes back to the kitchen when we finish. Dad thanks me and goes into the family room to watch the football game.

 

     I glance out the window at the moon while loading the dishwasher. A knot forms in my stomach. I just told my dad I would stay home at night. Would one night be that big a deal? I have been looking forward to this all day. It is practically all I can think about. _‘Okay, just tonight. After tonight I will never sneak out again.’_ I have to see Carmilla.

 

~/~

 

     I set my alarm for one o’clock and try to fall asleep. The howling starts the moment I close my eyes. _‘For the love of Time Lords.’_ How do they do that? I let out a long sigh. Looks like I’m staying up. _‘More time to think of questions.’_ I’m just staring at the ceiling when the alarm goes off a few hours later. The dogs haven’t let up for a minute and it’s driving me crazy. Its warmer tonight than yesterday, so I won’t need more than my cardigan to keep warm. I slip down the stairs and out the door. I hesitate on the front porch, but my curiosity takes over and I’m taking off down the street.

 

     As I get closer to the park the howling seems to get even louder. I feel this strange desire to run off into the trees. Sensations from my dream flash through my mind. The feel of the wind in my fur, the snow under my paws, the scent of the forest, even the pain of rolling down the hill. I take a deep breath and continue purposefully along the sidewalk. _‘What the heck was that?’_

 

     I sit on a swing and wait for Carmilla. The paper in my back pocket crinkles when I push off the ground slightly. Gaining momentum, I pump my legs to swing higher. I think of how dark Carmilla’s eyes looked. How I could see the stars reflected in them when she looked up. How her hair shone like ebony, but still look incredibly soft. How just her voice made my whole body heat up. How badly I wanted her to kiss me. I slow to a stop. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I need to focus. Tonight is about getting to know her. I have more self-control than a teenage boy. I am prepared for her flirty words and touches. I will not be distracted by her eyes, or her lips, or her butt, or her chest, or her hands, or… _‘Oh fish sticks, I’m doomed.’_ I pull my phone out to check the time. She said to meet at the same time, so where is she?

 

     Cold fingers wrap around my biceps and warm breath against my ear sends shivers down my spine.

 

     “Waiting for someone, cupcake?”

 

     I yelp, flying off the swing, and spin around. My heart is now thrashing in my chest. I press my hand over it, hoping it stays put. “Carm! You can’t just sneak up on someone like that!” How did she do that anyway? Was I really so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t hear her walk up behind me? _‘Maybe she’s a ninja. She certainly wears enough black.’_

Carmilla is gripping the chains of the swing I just vacated in both hands. Her head is down and her body shakes with silent laughter. I take the chance to let my eyes roam. She has on the same jacket as last night, a black V-neck underneath this time. A silver anchor dangles from a chain just above her cleavage. My eyes linger there longer than intended. I have to force myself to continue my already unsolicited roaming. _‘You have got to be kidding me.’_ Leather pants. She is wearing impossibly tight leather pants. My mouth is dry and I lick my lips. She saunters over to where I had backed up against a set of steps leading up into the playground, right below where I found her last night. My gaze on her legs the whole time, unable to look away.

 

     “Didn’t mean to scare you, cutie. But it’s just me. No reason for all of this…twitchiness.” She gestures to my shaking hands.

 

     My face flushes. “There is no twitching. There is an absence of twitching.” I hide my hands behind my back. Her proximity is not helping my heart rate in any way.

 

     “Clearly.” She says with a smirk and a roll of her eyes. The scent of spearmint fills the air as she pulls a pack of gum from her jacket pocket. Popping a piece in her mouth, she holds the pack out to me. I shake my head and she puts it back with a shrug. She sits down on a step, leaning back on her hands, stretching out her legs, and crossing her ankles. “Whatcha got there?”

 

     Confused, I look down at myself. Then I realize I’m still holding my phone. My basically prehistoric flip phone. I can feel my cheeks coloring again. “Don’t judge. My dad thought I would use an iPhone to send high resolution selfies to potential stalkers.” I quickly shove it back in my pocket.

 

     She chuckles and cocks her head to the side. “How would he feel about low resolution selfies sent to potential,” Her eyes run over me in that predatory way again, “friends.”

 

     ‘ _So we’re starting with flirty Carmilla, damnit. Stay focused Hollis.’_

“He doesn’t uh- I mean, I don’t um- I don’t really take selfies anyway.” I sputter. The look in her eye is making it difficult to form full sentences.

 

     “Pity.” She murmurs.

 

 _‘Well, definitely not going to read too much into that. Nope.’_ I look down, hiding my ever present blush, and start playing with a piece of mulch with my toe. I’m suddenly unsure of what to say. All my determination to get her talking disappeared as soon as I saw that stupid smirk. I reach back and pull out my list of questions. Carmilla raises an eyebrow at the rolled up paper now being crushed in my fists. After a moment, I release the breath I was holding and straighten my shoulders. Nervous tension stiffening my muscles. Why is this so hard all of a sudden? I had no problem talking to Danny earlier.

 

     “Okay, I don’t really know what to say, so I’m just going to say everything.” I tell her. She sits up. Concern pulling down the corners of her mouth. “I was talking to my friends this morning and they were asking about you and I realized I don’t know anything about you besides your name. Not how old you are. Not what school you go to. Not even if you actually live in this neighborhood. We spent nearly an hour together. I feel like I should know something.” I try to flatten out the paper. “So, I’ve spent all day thinking of questions to ask you.”

 

     Carmilla stands up and grabs my shoulders. She’s fighting back a smile. “Whoa there, creampuff. Ever heard of oxygen? I heard humans need it to live.” She starts to rub her hands up and down my arms. My body relaxes at her touch. “Questions, huh? I should warn you, I’m not a particularly open person.”

 

     I would believe her, anybody would, the leather and sarcasm give off that vibe. But after last night, what she said about the stars, I can’t shake the feeling that she actually wants to let someone in. I really, really want to be that someone.

 

     “That’s okay!” I raise my list and shake it a little. “They aren’t personal or anything. Just random get-to-know-you stuff. Like playing twenty questions.”

 

     She takes a step back and rubs the back of her neck. “You really want to do this? You might not like me too much if you know everything.” Her jaw clenches. I catch a glimpse of the pain in her eyes before she turns to sit back down.

 

     That’s new. Side number three: self-conscious Carmilla. This is good, this is what I wanted, to see more. I sit next to her and place my hand over hers in her lap. Her head bowed, she looks at me through her eyelashes. My stomach clenches. _‘How is she even real?’_

     “Well, not everything. It’s a little early to be revealing our tragic backstories.” I smile reassuringly. “I won’t make you answer anything you don’t want to.” I dip my head and give her my best puppy dog look. “Please?” Then I play my trump card. My lower lip pushes out into a pout and I bat my eyelids a few times.

 

     She stares at me for a minute. I can practically hear her thinking. Then she huffs out a short laugh, shaking her head. “You sure are persistent, buttercup. How does your dad ever say no to you?”

 

     “He usually covers his eyes and looks away.”

 

     Carmilla throws her head back and a youthful laugh escapes her lips. “You’re something else, cupcake. Alright, I’ll play your little game.” I squeal and clap my hands together. She quickly grabs my hands and pulls them down. “I have two conditions though,” I nod for her to continue, “One: you only ask questions you would be comfortable answering yourself. Two: Once you’re finished this Lois Lane junior gig, you grant me one request.” There’s a mischievous light in her eyes now, and that smirk is back.

 

     “Ohhhkay. What’s the request?” I ask. My confidence from a moment ago starting to wane as hers returns.

 

     She winks. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

 

     My lungs are doing that thing where they stop working. I gape at her, unable to speak. She leans forward slightly. Her hand slowly reaches up towards my face. When I manage to take a breath, the scent of her gum makes my eyelids flutter. Now my heart seems to have forgotten how to beat properly. She tucks some loose hair behind my ear. Then her fingers trace down my jaw to cup my chin. They linger a second or two after gently closing my mouth. _‘I should really work on that.’_ Our eyes are locked the whole time. Heat is radiating from my chest as another blush spreads up my neck.

 

     Coherent thought returns when her hand drops back to her lap. I clear my throat and stand up. I wipe my, now very clammy, palms on my jeans. Then I turn and start climbing the steps, heading to the covered section at the top. A glance over my shoulder shows Carmilla watching me, biting her lip, with a look I can only describe as lustful. _‘Holy crap. She’s totally checking me out.’_ There’s an ache south of my navel, causing my breath to hitch. _‘It’s just a girl looking at your backside, keep it together. A totally hot girl who looks like she wants to eat you, no big deal. Stay calm and stick to the plan, Hollis.’_

 

     “You coming?” I don’t think about what I’m saying until its already out of my mouth.

 

     Her smirk goes from flirty to dirty in the blink of an eye. “Oh, I was definitely thinking about it, cutie.”

 

     The ache gets stronger; all kinds of very much non-PG thoughts take over my mind. I can feel the blood rushing to my face. I turn back around and scramble up the ladder into the highest level of the playground. If I look at her now I know I will do something incredibly stupid. _‘This girl will be the death of me.’_

 

     The opening for the ladder is opposite the mouth an enclosed slide. The other two walls are made of solid plastic. Metal poles extend from each corner, holding the pointed, plastic roof a few feet above the tops of the walls. I press my back against the cold plastic, my legs extended in front of me. From here I can only see the stars in the sky. The moon, and the woods, must be behind me. I only have a second to collect my thoughts before Carmilla’s head appears at the top of the ladder.

 

     She rests her folded arms on the metal platform. “What are we doing up here, cupcake?”

 

     I squirm a little under her gaze, embarrassed. “I thought it would be easier to talk up here, where we can face each other.” I gesture to the wall across from me. _‘A little distance won’t hurt either.’_

 

     “If you say so.” She sighs and pulls herself up.

 

     Sliding on her butt, she mirrors my position, the soles of her combat boots nearly touching the wall next to me. Her leg is flush against mine and I can’t tell if it’s on purpose or not. Most likely on purpose. She crosses her arms over her chest. My eyes drop to where her shirt is pulled down, revealing even more cleavage. Her skin looks so smooth in the moonlight. I clench my fists tightly, clamping down on the urge to reach across and finding out if I’m right.

 

     “I’m experiencing a strong case of déjà vu, sweetheart.” Her smirk is the definition of smug.

 

     “Oh shush.” I mutter, looking down at the paper in my lap. “Ready to start?”

 

     She just grunts and lets her head fall back, eyes closing.

 

     “I’ll take that as a yes. Alright, simple one first; how old are you?”

 

     She’s quiet for a minute and I’m starting to think she just fell asleep on me. I tap her thigh with my foot. She exhales through her nose before answering, “Eighteen,” Her eyes still closed.

 

     “Oh! So you’re only like a year older than me.” I say surprised. For some reason I thought she would be older.

 

     She snorts but doesn’t respond any further.

 

     I narrow my eyes at her. Now I’m determined to get her to answer every single question I have. Briefly, I think this may be what Laf and Perry were warning me about, but Carmilla’s attitude is kinda pissing me off. Side number four: broody and disaffected. _‘Not a fan of this one.’_

 

     “Where do you go to school?”

 

     “I don’t.”

 

 _‘Vague much. Fine.’_ “What’s your favorite color?”

 

     “Black.”

           

     “Shocking.” She cracks one eye open and I smile sarcastically at her. She grins and goes back to pretending to sleep. “Your favorite movie?

 

     “The Silence of the Lambs and It’s a Wonderful Life.”

 

     “That’s a very odd combination.” I say slowly. “They’re completely different.”

 

     “And I like them for completely different reasons.” She counters, finally giving me her full attention.

 

     “And what are those?”

 

     “No.”

 

     “Why not?”

 

     “Well, I have to keep some of my secrets. Otherwise I’ll lose my air of mystery, wont I?” She drawls, voice low and teasing.

 

     I don’t know how to respond to that. The Silence of the Lambs fits her “Badass in Leather” persona, but where does It’s a Wonderful Life come from? I hate not knowing and Carmilla isn’t cooperating as much as I’d like.

 

     “That bunched up little face you make when you’re angry is hilarious, buttercup.” She lifts her arms, interlocking her fingers behind her head. “Didn’t mean to upset you, though.” Her foot nudges my leg. “Go on, I’ll try to behave.”

 

     I search her eyes, she seems genuine. I read the next thing on my list. “Favorite flower?”

 

     “Calla Lily.”

 

     “Let me guess, the black ones?” She taps the side of her nose with her index finger. “What do you like to read?”

 

     “Wait, what’s yours?” Her mouth slams shut as soon as the words are out of her mouth. She seems surprised by her own enthusiasm.

 

     “My favorite flower?” She nods, not meeting my eye. “Aw, you’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.” I smirk, enjoying having the upper hand for once.

 

     “I’m not cute. I’m intimidating and unapproachable.” She smacks my foot playfully, “Now answer the question, creampuff.”

 

     Whatever retort I had dies on my lips when I feel her hand on my shin. Trying to figure out which side this is, I look at her face. She’s staring down at her hand, now drawing patterns on my jeans with a finger. _‘Ah, contemplative Carmilla.’_

 

     “Day Lilies and Sunflowers.” I smile brightly when her gaze flicks up from her lazy movements. She nods, her soft smile giving me butterflies. “So what do you like to read?”

 

     “Camus, Kipling, Nietzsche, Poe if I feel like something light.”

 

     “So you’re into philosophy and poetry.” I say, unable to keep the impressed tone from my voice. I have never met anyone who reads that kind of stuff for fun.

 

     “My mother traveled a lot when I was younger and would take me with her. She made me learn the language of whatever country we went to so I would appear cultured. She had me read classics and memorize passages to recite on command. I was trotted around in front of members of high society like a prize pony.” Carmilla’s voice was void of emotion, her eyes empty and fixed on the sky above my head.

 

     That must be what she meant by ‘the lives we’ve led, the people we’ve been’. I lean forward slightly and place my hand on her thigh. The urge to comfort her taking control. Her eyes widen in surprise momentarily. She must have been seriously lost in her memories. She roughly rakes a hand through her hair, leaving her curls a mess, but still somehow perfect. _‘Oh come on. That’s just unfair.’_

     “So yeah, I guess at some point they grew on me.” She says with forced casualness.

 

     “It must have been pretty exciting,” I say wistfully, “seeing the world.”

 

     She tries to smirk, but it’s more of a snarl. “Oh sure. Who needs stability, companionship, or affection? I got to see the Palace of Versailles and the Sistine Chapel!”

 

     The contempt dripping from her words takes me by surprise. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to hit a nerve, forget I said anything.” I say, wanting to get back to the easy banter from before.

 

     Carmilla has other plans though. “You know what? Enough about me.” Her eyes harden as she leans forward. “How was it growing up in the Hollis house? Do you try to be the best daughter you can be? Are you daddy’s little girl? Is your mom your best friend?”

 

     I want to yell at her for mocking me. I want to slap the sneer off her face. I want to walk away and not look back. But my body doesn’t cooperate. Instead, I bend my legs and hug my knees to my chest. My face is hot, my eyes are stinging from the tears behind them, my throat is closing up. I drop my head.

 

     “My mom was murdered when I was eight.” I whisper, so softly I wonder if she even heard me.

 

     “Oh Laura. Shit, I’m so sorry.” She sounds mortified.

 

     I lift my gaze at the sound of her voice. The look of pure guilt on her face makes me feel worse. I’m not sure why, but it’s the fact that she actually said my name that sends me over the edge. The tears start to fall unchecked. My body is wracked with sobs.

 

     Carmilla moves so she’s next to me. I don’t resist when she pulls me into her lap. One arm wraps around my shoulders, her hand pressing my head against her chest. The other hand starts rubbing soothing circles on my back. I clutch at her shirt, it smells like leather and parchment, and I let myself get lost in her. She holds me and whispers apologies and condolences into my hair. Heaving sobs eventually ease to the occasional sniffle. The pressure of her arms around me is more calming than I expected.

 

     “I’m sorry.” I turn my head and wipe my nose with my cardigan sleeve. “You probably think I’m pathetic, crying on a girl I just met.”

 

     She cranes her neck so she can see my face. “Laura, no. You did nothing wrong. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you. It was uncalled for. No deserves to be treated that way, especially not you. I will never be able to apologize enough.” Her hands cup my cheeks and she wipes away the tears with her thumbs.

 

     I glance down at her tear and snot stained shirt. “Your shirt! I ruined it, oh god.” I groan.

 

     “It’s fine, cutie. I have plenty more just like it.”

 

     She is looking at me with so much affection in her eyes. My chest fills with something I’ve never felt before. Her gaze is too intense for me to hold any longer. I bury my face in her neck and smile when she holds me closer. Again, I notice that there isn’t any heat coming off of her. _‘It must be colder out than I thought.’_ We stay in that position for a few minutes. I nearly doze off, but am instantly alert when her body tenses beneath me.

 

     “Carm, what’s wrong?” I ask softly, afraid to be any louder.

 

     “Shhh.” She covers my mouth with her hand. She closes her eyes and cocks her head.

 

     I’m about to ask what she’s doing when I hear it. Footsteps. Someone, or something, is coming our way, fast. We both stay as still as possible as the sounds get closer. My heart is beating at a breakneck speed and I try to keep my breathing quiet. I can hear panting not that far behind us. Carmilla’s arms tighten when indistinct muttering floats up to where we’re hiding. I jump at the sound of branches snapping. I release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding when the sound fades. Carmilla relaxes her hold after it’s silent for a while.

 

     “What are they up to?” She mumbles to herself. I wouldn’t have caught it if I weren’t so close to her. Then she says to me, “They must have run into the woods.”

 

     “Yeah.” Is all I can get out. I’m focused on getting my heart rate under control. _‘This would be a lot easier if I wasn’t currently in Carmilla’s lap.’_ The thought is accompanied by a deep blush. I scramble off of her and stand up quickly, taking a few steps back. She looks up at me, an eyebrow quirked in confusion. “All that crying stiffened me up. Gotta stretch real quick.” _‘Just when I thought I couldn’t get any more awkward…’_

     Her eyes flash with that mischievous light and her lips pull into a knowing smirk. She stands with more grace than should be humanly possible. Her eyes don’t leave my face as she stretches her arms above head. I try to maintain eye contact. I tell myself I have more pride and self-control than this. But again, my body betrays me. The exposed ivory skin of her toned stomach is a stark contrast to her dark wardrobe. _‘Holy muscle definition, Batman.’_ Pride be damned. The sight of her abs, and her hipbones, is so worth being subjected to her smug smirk. I gnaw on my lip in an attempt to keep my jaw from dropping. She lowers her arms and I look up to see her staring at my mouth. Then her smirk grows. _‘Oh no.’_ Carmilla clasps her hands behind her, stretching her shoulders back. The motion thrusts her chest forward, pulling her shirt tight across her breasts. I bite so hard on my lip I think my teeth will go straight through it. My fingers twitch. There’s a heat building around my pelvic area that’s making me squirm. Then her head falls back and she lets out a low moan. The heat flares and I actually fall back against the pole in the corner, my legs weak.

 

     She rolls her neck side to side. Her eyes lock on mine, pupils blown out. My breath hitches audibly as she stalks toward me. Her lithe body and careful movements remind me of a jungle cat. _‘“…black as the pit, and terrible as a demon, was Bagheera.” What a time to remember my Kipling reading.’_ The line is supposed to convey the fear the panther instills. I’ve never really given it much thought. Looking at Carmilla now, it suddenly strikes me as beautiful. She stops when we are toe-to-toe, mere inches between us. Her hands slide down my arms, making me shiver. She takes my hands in hers and rubs her thumbs lightly over my knuckles. The roof is blocking the moonlight, casting shadows across her face. All the lines and angles are highlighted. Her cheekbones and the slope of her nose seem sharper. Her features are statuesque, carved from marble and accented with obsidian. She is absolutely breath-taking.

 

     “So, cupcake, I believe you agreed to grant me a request.” Her voice is low and raspy.

 

     I don’t respond for a moment. I’m too busy trying to think of all the things she could possibly ask. It’s slightly concerning that I already know I will agree to whatever it is. Panic flashes across her face when I stay silent. She drops one of my hands to rub at the back of her neck.

 

     “Never mind. I have no right to ask you for anything after I just made you cry. I should go. Sorry.” She drops my other hand and turns to the ladder.

 

     “Carm, stop.” I grab her wrist, spinning her back around. “I’m not upset with you. We both made mistakes.”

 

     She is staring at her shoes, looking very much like a scolded child. I squeeze her hand to get her to look at me. When she does, the mix of hope and fear in her eyes makes my chest tighten painfully. _‘What is she doing to me?’_ I have never felt such a range of emotions in such a short amount of time. I have been on a rollercoaster from the moment I met her. Up, down, up, down. My stomach is flipping and my head is spinning, but I don’t want to get off. Something tells me Carmilla is worth staying on for.

 

     “What can I do for you?” I ask softly.

 

     “Let me walk you home?” Her hand tenses in mine, relaxing when I respond.

 

     “Of course! And they say chivalry is dead.” I say with a bright smile.

 

     “If you only knew, sweetheart.” She chuckles.

 

     She starts for the ladder again, but I pull her back. I rise up on the tips of my toes so I can get my face next to hers. “Race you.” I dart to the slide with a giggle, leaving her to stare after me. When I get to the bottom I am fully expecting to see Carmilla making her way down the steps we were sitting on earlier. I do a double take when I find her waiting for me, hands in her pockets, smirk already in place.

 

     “Took you long enough, cutie.” She teases.

 

     I glare at her. “No way.” I cross my arms defiantly. “You cheated.”

 

     She just laughs, offering me a hand. I take it and she pulls me to my feet. Just like last night, she doesn’t let go. Her hand flips around and she interlocks our fingers. She tugs me closer as we start the walk back to my house. The next ten minutes are filled with stolen glances and shy smiles. Neither of us feeling the need to break the silence. Once on my street, my heart beats faster and faster with every step forward. She walks me all the way to the front door. We stand facing each other, our hands still connected.

 

     “Well, here we are.” I shuffle my feet awkwardly, not wanting to say goodbye just yet.

 

     “Here we are.” She steps closer, watching me intently. My gaze darts between her lips and eyes. She runs the fingers of her free hand through my ponytail. “God, what am I doing? Naïve, provincial girl, entirely too tightly wound.” Her hand drops, slipping past my cardigan to hold my hip. “Such a cliché. I oughta know better.”

 

     “Gee, thanks.” I whisper. The words catch slightly in my throat. Carmilla’s proximity making me dizzy.

 

     I gasp as she drops her head and drags her nose up my neck, inhaling deeply. Then she releases my hand, bringing hers up to cup my cheek. She presses her forehead against mine, her eyes closing. I raise my arms up and rest my hands on the base of her neck. Her grip on my hip tightens. She tilts her head slightly, our lips lightly brushing. “May I?” I feel the words more than I hear them.

 

     I can’t wait any longer. To answer her question, I pull her down and press my mouth to hers. They are even softer than I imagined and taste predictably like spearmint. The kiss starts off gentle, our lips moving slowly. When Carmilla traces my bottom lip with her tongue, I see stars on the backs of my eyelids. My hand flies up to tangle in her hair. She moans softly. Her head jerks back in surprise, breaking the kiss. I hear a quiet, “Shit,” before she’s kissing me again. I part my lips slightly and she wastes no time in taking the bottom one between her teeth, biting down lightly. I reflexively twist the hand tangled in her hair, pulling it a little. In response, she slips both of her hands into my back pockets, pulling our bodies flush against each other. Then her tongue is sliding into my mouth and I lose myself in the kiss.

 

     Eventually my need for air becomes impossible to ignore. I pull back, grinning when she chases me. Her eyes flutter open and she bumps my nose with hers. A thought pops into my head as I catch my breath.

 

     “What happened to the gum you were chewing earlier?” I ask.

 

     “Really, creampuff?” She has an amused grin on her face.

 

     I shrug before giving her another quick kiss. “As much as I want to stay out here all night with you; I have to go to school in a few hours.”

 

     She nods and starts to slowly back off the porch. “I’ll let you get some sleep then. Night, cutie.”

 

     “Goodnight, Carm.”

 

     She gives me a little wave and starts off down the street. I watch her for a few moments before breaking into my happy dance. _‘Best. Night. Ever.’_

 

     “I can see you, spaz.”

 

     I let out an embarrassed squeak and rush to get inside. My hands are shaking with excitement, making unlocking the door difficult. I throw myself on my bed, sighing contently. Looking out my window at the sky reminds me of the weird urge to run off into the woods earlier. Suddenly I realize I can’t remember hearing the dogs after Carmilla showed up at the park. I pull my phone out and quickly type a message.

 

**[Cupcake]: _Text me when you get home. So I know you weren’t eaten by wolves or something._**

****

     I’m in the bathroom brushing my teeth when I hear my phone ding multiple times. After changing into my pajamas, I crawl under the covers. I grab my phone from the nightstand and read her replies.

 

**[Carm]: _It would take more than a few wolves to get rid of me._**

**[Carm]: _In my room now._**

**[Carm]: _Wish I was in someone else's ;)_**

**[Cupcake]: _Do you ever stop flirting? Sweet dreams, Carm :)_ **

**[Carm]: _Everything about you is sweet, cupcake._**

****

     I fall asleep with a smile on my face and my phone clutched to my chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot starts next chapter. Get ready for the weird.


	3. My Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I re-wrote this chapter three times and I'm still not happy with it. But, since it has been over two weeks since the last chapter, this will have to do.
> 
> ~/~ marks a time jump within the same day  
> -/-/- marks a time jump overnight

** 3 **

** My Light **

****

     “I’m starting to think you’re making this up as an excuse to hear my voice.”

 

     I sigh into my phone. “Just shut up and start reading.”

 

     “What will I get out of this, cutie?” Carmilla asks suggestively.

 

     I can picture the smirk on her face perfectly. I am now very familiar with that smirk. But now is not the time for her teasing. “The satisfaction of helping me.” I deadpan.

 

     She chuckles softly, then lowers her voice, “I can think of something else that will satisfy both of us. I can come over and show you.”

 

     I squirm a little in my bed, a wide smile spreading unbidden across my face. _‘No. Stay strong.’_ Easier said than done when just her voice, even over the phone, is enough to send shivers of anticipation throughout my body. “You were here for three hours last night, and the night before that.”

 

     “Yeah, last night. I haven’t seen you in nearly twenty-four hours, cupcake.”

 

     “Did Carmilla Karnstein just whine?” I can’t help but rub it in. She is determined to keep up her badass image; so I have to take advantage of the rare moments I get a peek behind the curtain.

 

     “Tell anyone and I’ll deny it.” She mutters. I start to laugh, but quickly turn my head to muffle it into my pillow. She waits for me to finish and asks, “So, up for some late night entertainment?”

 

     “No, Carmilla. I need to actually get some sleep this week.” I say sternly, adding a pleading note to my voice when I continue, “Please, Carm. You can stay as long as you want Friday.”

 

     I hear a low groan before she responds, “Gods, just imagining your pout is enough to make it work. Okay, hold on.”

 

     After putting it on speaker, I place my phone on the nightstand. The sound of pages flipping is followed by Carmilla reading out loud, in French. I close my eyes and focus on the timbre her voice. The last thing I remember is her whispering, “Bien dormir, ma lumière.”

 

-/-/-

 

     I wake up as soon as my alarm goes off. Something falls to the ground when I reach to silence it. After turning on the light I look around the floor. _‘Damnit.’_ My phone is laying in two pieces by my bed. _‘That thing was ran over by a car, but a two-foot drop is what does it in.’_ Now Dad will have to get me a new phone. _‘And Carmilla might get those selfies she’s always asking for.’_

 

     Carmilla. It’s been a little over two weeks since we met. _‘17 days, but who’s counting.’_ The night after we kissed on the porch, my heart still skips a beat when I think about it, I texted her to tell her I couldn’t meet her so late anymore. I asked if she wanted to come over like a normal person or if she would rather sneak into my room in the middle of the night. I was joking about the second part, so I nearly had a heart attack when she showed up at my window. Her answer to how she got up on the roof was characteristically vague, something about years of practice. I didn’t have time to ask for more details because as soon as her boots hit the floor she pulled me into a kiss. Needless to say, I no longer cared about anything else. Kissing Carmilla is my new favorite thing to do. I can’t get enough of her. It’s all I can think about – the taste of her lips, the silkiness of her hair, the scent of her skin, the feel of her touch. The way her mouth and hands are always contradicting each other is the best part. If her kiss is rough and demanding, then her hands are lightly caressing my sides or cupping my face. When her lips are soft and gentle, her grip is tight on my hips and her nails are dragging down my back. I don’t know how she does it, it’s like she can’t decide how she feels. We both end up breathless and smiling like idiots either way, so I’m not complaining.

 

     One thing is very clear though, she can’t resist my neck. I thanked whatever gods there are that I was on break the first time she got carried away. It was hard enough trying to hide all the hikeys from my dad while at home, going to school would have been a nightmare. When we’re making out, Carmilla can’t go two minutes without stopping to kiss and nibble down one side of my neck, across my collarbones, and back up. It feels incredible – again, not complaining – but I’ve started keeping a hand in her hair so I can pull her lips back up to mine when she stays away too long. She’s no longer surprised by the sounds that escape her. I miss the way her eyes would squint slightly; but feeling her little moans, purrs, and growls vibrate through me totally makes up for it. Yeah, Carmilla purrs. Further proving my theory that she was a cat in another life. It’s actually adorable and the contrast with her whole punk-rock image makes me love it more. _‘Whoa, I mean LIKE. Like it more. Not love.’_ There have been a few times, while she’s sucking on my neck, when she will suddenly jerk back like she’s been burned. When that happens, she turns around for a minute and won’t say anything. Then she turns back and pretends like nothing happened. I’m still trying to figure that out. Even more confusing was the one time I decided to give her a taste of her own medicine. I kissed down her neck, stopping just above where it meets her shoulder, and bit down. She flew off my bed, stuttered about forgetting she needed to do something, and practically jumped out the window.

 

     I’m attributing it to her hesitance to get too, uh, intimate. She lets me slip my hands under her shirt, but when they start to go higher than her stomach, she pulls back. She says the same thing every time, “If we keep going, I’m not gonna be able to stop, and I am not doing that down the hall from a man who knows how to make sure no one finds my body.” Now, I’m not ready for _that_ either. I just can’t stop myself from wanting more of her. Trust me, I see the irony in this situation. For all her flirty bravado at the park, the more time we spend together, the less forward Carmilla is. She still says things that make me blush at record speeds, but they seem much more innocent now. Her looks are more affectionate than licentious. She’s just as willing to listen to me talk about my day or watch Netflix, as she is to kiss me senseless.

 

     It was one of those nights that I told her about the howling dogs, and how being with her helps me ignore them. She was sitting up on my bed, her back to the wall, reading a book in a language I couldn’t recognize. I was laying down with my head in her lap, one of her hands playing with my hair. I mentioned how it’s easier for me to fall asleep on nights she comes over, but I wish I had a way to drown them out earlier, so I could get a full night’s rest for once. She set the book on my stomach and stared down at me, biting her lip in thought. I didn’t even think she was paying attention to my rambling.

 

_“You could call me, if you want, and I could talk to you or read or something.” She said it hesitantly, like the idea was forming as she said it. I looked at the book she was just reading, then back at her, raising an eyebrow in question. “I have books in English if that’s the problem,” She said indignantly._

_I shook my head quickly. “No it’s not that. I just- wait, say something in French.” I asked._

_Her eyes locked on mine, an unreadable expression on her face. “Vous êtes la seule lumière dans ma sombre sans fin.” She said softly._

_“Oh yeah,” I sighed, “That will definitely work. Cosima is right, French is totally hot.”_

 

     I pulled her head down for a kiss before asking what it meant. She didn’t answer. Instead, her hands shot down to my sides and she started tickling me. I sat up and spun around, so my head was now on my pillow. She followed, leaning over until her face hovered right above mine. Then her tongue darted out and she licked the tip of my nose. My face bunched up in surprise. She collapsed on top of me in a fit of giggles.

 

_“I think we should talk about this ‘tongues’ kink of yours, mia cara.” She said from where her head had nestled against my neck._

_“How did I not notice what a dork you are before?” I whispered into her hair._

     Again, instead of replying she just tickled my ribs and kissed me soundly. I was thoroughly distracted after that. I looked up the words I remembered later, though. I definitely didn’t tear up a little and it definitely wasn’t the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.

 

     Now, whenever I can’t sleep, I call her and she reads me whatever book she’s currently working on. _‘Tonight is gonna suck without my phone.’_

     I’m pulled from my thoughts by Dad yelling breakfast is ready from downstairs. That happens a lot now. I start to think about Carmilla and twenty minutes go by without me noticing. When I get to the kitchen, he’s already halfway finished his pancakes. There’s a plate chocolate chip ones waiting for me at my seat. I pour myself some hot chocolate. Once I sit down, he wordlessly passes me the bottle of syrup.

 

     I take a moment to look him over. There are dark circles under his eyes, but otherwise he looks as put together as usual. I know the murders are stressing him out more than he is letting on. There have been two more since the one he told me about. I may have looked at the files he left in the family room when he went to the bathroom a couple days ago. He’s been quieter and distant lately. So, I’ve been doing everything I can to make sure he doesn’t worry too much about me. I hang out with Perry and Laf here at home, Danny gives me a ride after school when I have meetings for The Voice, and I eat actual food for dinner when he has to stay out late. He doesn’t know about Carmilla, though, and I’m trying to keep it that way. He knows I’m gay, that’s not the problem. The problem is that I’m afraid he won’t think she’s good enough for his ‘favorite daughter’. Especially if he finds out what has been going on the past couple weeks. I’ll tell him once he closes his cases and I’m positive he won’t put bars on my window.

 

     His phone beeps on the table next to him. It beeps again as he picks it up. “Sorry kiddo, gotta go.” He says, getting up and taking his plate to the sink. He turns back while putting on his coat. “Are your friends coming over tomorrow?”

 

     I shake my head while swallowing the sip I just took. “No, I told them to come Saturday.”

 

     “Why? Your birthday is tomorrow.” He asks confused.

 

     “I know. But I have stuff to do after school and I just thought it would be better to have everyone over Saturday.” My stomach churns as the lie leaves my mouth.

 

     “Alright, it’s your birthday. Have fun at school. Let me know when you’ll be home.” He walks quickly out the door before I had a chance to say anything else.

 

     I don’t like lying to him. But I can’t exactly say that Carmilla asked me to keep my afternoon open because she has a surprise for me. Well, I didn’t tell my friends about that either and they know about Carmilla. _‘Okay, maybe I just like having her to myself.’_ I drop my head into my hands when I realize I forgot to tell Dad about my phone. I’ll have to ask Laf or Perry to use theirs on the bus. I run upstairs to get ready for school. I spent too long in my head this morning.

 

~/~

 

     I leave the computer lab with a smile on my face and a bounce in my step. My article on athletics at Silas was a huge success. I don’t know too much about sports, but Danny was more than happy to help me with it. Mrs. Cochrane just asked me to do another piece on the football team, since they are currently undefeated. I get to the locker room at the same time Danny is walking out. She smiles warmly when she sees me.

 

     “What’s got you so happy, Hollis?”

 

     “My article was a hit! Thanks again. Now Mrs. Cochrane wants me to write about the football team.” I tell her excitedly.

 

     “That means you will have to spend more time with Kirsch. I wouldn’t have the patience.” She chuckles.

 

     “Hey, he isn’t that bad. Once you get past the ‘hottie’ thing, he’s actually a really nice guy.”

 

     “Oh, no. You are entirely too sweet.” She says, reaching to muss my hair.

 

     “Yeah, yeah. Come on. I have to get home.” I grab her arm and start to pull her out to the parking lot.

 

     “So your dad is still doing the whole ‘grounding for your safety’ thing?” She asks when we get to her car and get in.

 

     I just nod my head while putting on my seatbelt. I flip the radio to a Top 40 station. Danny groans and I grin at her. By the third song she’s singing along just as loud as I am. Danny and I have gotten pretty close since we met. It started with her helping with my article. Then she asked if I wanted to get something to eat after her practice. We were going almost every day until Dad tightened his restrictions to me having to go straight home from school. She gets along with Perry and LaFontaine too, didn’t even bat an eye when Laf explained their preferred pronouns. Laf thinks Danny has a thing for me, but I don’t see it. They also say I’m oblivious, but I don’t see that either.

 

     Danny pulls up behind Dad’s car, which is already in the driveway. I hop out and wave to her. “Thanks for the ride!”

 

     “Don’t mention it. See you tomorrow.” She says, waving back.

 

     I watch as she backs into the street and drives away. Time to see why Dad is home so early. I walk in the house and drop my backpack by the steps to take up later. I hear him talking to someone in the kitchen. He’s on the phone and holds up a finger, asking me to wait. I sit at the table while he wraps up the conversation. After hanging up, he picks up a plastic bag from the counter and drops it on the table in front of me.

 

     “Happy birthday, Laura. I bought this a week ago, but I guess the special circumstances make it okay to give it to you a day early.” He is trying to sound disappointed, but it’s obvious he’s suppressing a smile.

 

     I pull a white box from the bag. “No way. Dad!” I open the box to find a gold iPhone. “You got me a smartphone?!” I jump up and give him a tight hug. “Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.”

 

     “You have suffered long enough.” He says with a laugh. “And it’s the same number so all you have to worry about is getting everyone else’s again.”

 

     “That’s fine. I have all the important ones memorized anyway.” I turn on the phone, my smile growing even bigger.

 

     “I’m glad you like it. I have to get back to the station. I only came home to give you the phone.” He kisses the top of my head on his way out the door. “See you later, kiddo.”

 

     “Bye. Thank you again!” I yell.

 

     My fingers fly across the screen as I enter and save the first new contact. Then I send my first message.

 

**[Cupcake]: _Guess who just got a new (smart)phone! :D_ **

**[Carm]: _Welcome to the 21 st century, cutie._ _What made your dad finally give in?_**

**[Carm]: _And when can I expect the first high resolution selfie? ;p_**

**[Cupcake]: _Well it was supposed to be my birthday present, but my old one may have broken this morning._**

**[Cupcake]: _And why do you want a picture so bad anyway?_**

**[Carm]: _Cupcake, I like looking at you. If you send me a picture, then I can look at it on nights when you won’t let me come over._ **

_‘Oh.’_ I’m glad she can’t see me now. I don’t think she could make me blush harder.

 

**[Cupcake]: _There is nothing stopping you from taking one yourself you know._**

**[Carm]: _If you insist. Give me a sec._**

I stare at her message. _‘What does that mean?’_ A picture pops up and my jaw drops. _‘I was wrong; she can always make me blush harder.’_ I open it and now that I can see more, I’m afraid my jaw is going to dislocate. Carmilla is laying on what must be her bed. _‘And my yellow pillow. When did she even take that?’_ Her signature smirk graces her face. She’s wearing a black tank top, the swell of her breasts and red lace bra are showing. The amount of cleavage on display is making my heart race. My fingers are shaking as I reply.

 

**[Cupcake]: _I meant you taking a picture of me. But…wow…_**

**[Carm]: _I know what you meant, cutie. Just consider it an early birthday present._ **

**[Carm]: _You’re not doing anything tomorrow afternoon, right?_**

**[Cupcake]: _Nope. All free for your surprise :)_ **

**[Carm]: _Okay good._**

****

We text for another half hour before she says she has to go. Then I text Laf and Perry, who are both as excited as I am. We talked until Dad came home with tacos.

 

-/-/-

 

     I roll out of bed and go sit on my windowsill. The moon looks full, but it will be official tomorrow night. The dogs are quiet. I grab my phone and pull up Carmilla’s number. Maybe hearing her voice will help me get to sleep. Her text from earlier comes to mind and I open the camera before I lose my nerve. Turning so the moon lights my face, I take the picture and quickly send it. If I had thought about it too long, I never would have done that. _‘That was stupid. I'll never look half as good as her, so what's the point?’_ I wait for a few minutes without getting an answer. Now I'm even more nervous.

 

**[Cupcake]: _Carm?_**

**[Carm]: _Sorry, I was waiting for my breath to come back. You gotta warn a girl before sending something like that, sweetheart._ **

**[Cupcake]: _Oh shut up. Mine wasn't anything like yours._**

**[Carm]: _Laura, do you really not know how beautiful you are?_**

     I read the question three times before it sinks in. _‘She thinks I’m breathtaking.’_ And she thinks it's obvious to everyone, including me, that I am.

 

_‘Laura!’_

     I jump as the voice from my dream calls out in my head.

 

_‘Laura!’_

     I get up and put on my rarely used running shoes. Then I run down stairs and out the front door. In the back of my mind I wonder what I'm doing. Some force is calling me and I can't resist it. My body moves against my will, running down street after street. I only realize where I am when I'm sprinting past the playground. I've never been into these woods before, so now I really have no idea where I'm going. A clearing appears through the trees. I stop running when I reach the center and collapse. My lungs are heaving, my legs feel like lead, and my head is spinning. I haven't run like that in my life. I don’t think I could have if it weren't for whatever force was controlling me. I manage to sit up on my knees after a few minutes. The sky is clear above me, the moon lighting up the clearing like a spotlight.

 

     “You alright, Hollis?”

 

     I spin around and end up falling on my back. Danny is standing right behind me, well above me now. She's wearing a black hoodie and track pants.

 

     "Danny! What the frilly hell are you doing here?!”

     She reaches down and lifts me up by my forearms. She holds my shoulders until she's sure I can stand on my own. “Are you okay?” She asks again.

 

     I stare at her in shock. “You're serious? Where did you come from? Where the hell am I? How did I even get here?” My voice is rising with my confusion and panic.

 

     Danny steps back, holding her hands up. “Laura, take a breath. Yes, I'm serious and I, uh, came from your shadow. The other questions will be answered soon.”

 

     I put my hands on top of my head and take a few steps away from her. What is going on? I can barely think straight from exhaustion and Danny is saying she came from my shadow. What is going on?

 

     “Lawrence! Let's get this over with.” A dark-skinned girl with a quiver of arrows over her shoulder yells while walking out of the trees.

 

     As I watch, three more girls follow the first. After they all gather behind Danny, a tall woman with blonde hair walks up to me. I have to crane my neck back to look her in the eye.

     “Laura Hollis. I haven't seen you in fifteen years.” The woman’s voice instantly calms me down.

     “What is going on?” It's the only thing I'm capable of asking at this point.

     The girl with the arrows huffs impatiently. She eyes me up and down. “Are we sure it's her? I mean…”

 

     “Of course it's her, Mel.” Danny cuts her, Mel apparently, off. Danny moves closer to me and I have to look up at her too. “Have you been hearing things at night? And having strange dreams?”

 

     I nod numbly. _‘How did she know that?’_

 

     She smiles softly at me. “That's what I'm going to tell you.”

 

_‘I really have to stop thinking out loud.’_

 

     Danny takes a deep breath and straightens her shoulders. “Laura, you're going to have a hard time believing what I'm about to say, but I swear it's all true. Are you ready?” I nod again, I really can't do anything else. “The sounds at night and the dreams, they mean you're a werewolf. Like me. Like all of them.” She gestures to the girls behind her and the woman next to me.

 

     All six of them are now looking at me expectantly. Werewolves. She thinks she's a werewolf. She thinks I'm a werewolf. What the fudge.

 

     “What in the name of Skrillex are you talking about? Werewolves? This isn't Supernatural. Werewolves aren't real.” I'm trying really hard to not yell.

 

     “Wait till she hears about vampires.” One of the other girls mutters.

 

     “What?!” Okay, failing at the not yelling thing.

 

     The woman steps in front of me and places her hands on my shoulders. “Think about it, Laura. Think of all the strange things that have been happening to you lately. You're hearing things no one else can. You're having incredibly realistic dreams about being a wolf. You get the sudden urge to be outside, under the moon. Tonight, you ran all the way here because I called you.”

 

     “Prove it.” I demand, looking around. “Prove you're werewolves.”

 

     Danny clears her throat, drawing my attention. Her eyes are closed and her fists are clenched. A low growl rumbles in her chest. Her lips open to reveal elongated canines.  Her hands open, claws glinting on the ends of her fingers. I raise my gaze to her face as she opens her eyes. Instead of pale blue, they're bright yellow. _‘No way.’_

 

    I back up quickly, raking my hands through my hair roughly to clear my thoughts. Everything the woman said was true, but this can't seriously be happening. No way. “How could I be a werewolf and not know it? I'll be eighteen tomorrow.” I ask, panic and disbelief still evident in my voice.

 

     “Halfbreeds don't change until they reach maturity, which is eighteen for females.” The woman says calmly.

 

     “Halfbreed? So that means one of my parents was a werewolf and my dad has lied to me my whole life? Is it my dad?” She shakes her head and looks down. “My mom…” I choke back a sob. What is going on?

 

     “Charlotte was my best friend.”

 

     “Holy crap. You're Lyla.” I say, suddenly recognizing the woman from my parents wedding photos. I ignore the tears welling up in my eyes. “You were my mom’s Maid of Honor. Did her being a werewolf have anything to do with why she was killed?” I'm afraid of the answer, but I have to ask.

 

     Lyla looks at me with a mix of guilt and pity. “Yes. That had everything to do with it. Her death, and your father going into hiding afterwards, are why it took so long for me to find you.”

 

 _'These people are almost as vague as Carmilla.’_ Their answers just lead to more questions. “Okay,” I move so that Lyla, Danny, and the girls are all facing me, “Just tell me everything. From the beginning, because I don't even know what to ask.”

 

     Lyla and Danny share a look before Lyla starts. “All the stories you know about the supernatural, while details have been skewed and twisted over time, they are based on the truth. Werewolves have existed for over a thousand years. We originated in Europe and have spread out over time. Vampires were an ancient race before ours even evolved. We have been at war for as long as we have shared the Earth. The reason for the hatred between us is long forgotten.” She pauses to make sure I'm listening. I nod my head, telling her to continue.

 

     “At the end of the Middle Ages, a fortress was built in the mountains of Austria. Its name has changed countless times, but now it's called the Moon Keep. The Keep is the werewolf Capitol, for lack of a better word. Our leadership and archives are housed there. It's also where young and new wolves go to learn to control their powers.” Lyla steps back and turns to Danny.

 

     Danny looks nervous, but her voice is steady. “Remember when I told you I grew up in Salzburg? I lived at the Keep, training and learning control. Every werewolf is born with what we call Gifts, a power given to us by the moon. Not long after the Keep was built, a record of all known Gifts was started when it was noticed that multiple wolves had the same power. The record is used to help train young wolves.” Here, Danny turns to Mel. “Show her.”

 

     Mel glares at her and doesn't move, but after a look from Lyla she complies. Mel takes a few steps away from where we’re all standing and faces the trees. She holds her hand out, palm up, and raises it to shoulder height. I gasp as three arrows rise from the quiver, mirroring her hand. She turns her hand so her palm is to the trees, the arrows rotate in the air. Mel swings her arm down and the arrows shoot across the clearing. Three thuds are heard as each one buries itself into a separate tree. “Telekinesis.” Mel says with a smirk, looking back at us.

 

     I haven't said a word in ten minutes and I can't think of anything to say now. Luckily, Danny didn't plan on let me speak anyway. She starts talking again, a nervous edge to her voice. “Right, Mel moves things with her mind. Elsie can pass through solid objects, Madison can control fire, and Betty can blend in with her surroundings, she disappears like a chameleon.” Danny points to each girl as she names them and they wave at me. “Oh, and Lyla is a shapeshifter. She can turn into animals besides a wolf.”

 

     “And what about you?” I ask.

 

     “I shadow jump, meaning I can go into one shadow and appear in another. That's how I got behind you earlier.”

 

     “Alright, so what does everything you just told me have to do with my mom’s murder and you coming to find me?” I glance between Lyla and Danny while asking.

 

     Danny starts wringing her hands and won't look me in the eye. I guess we are at the part that's making her so nervous. She keeps her gaze on my shoes. “This part is a little hard to believe.” I scoff, but let her continue. “About three hundred years ago, an extremely powerful vampire broke into the Keep. She killed Aurora Rose, a seer and keeper of the archives at the time. Before the vampire killed her, Aurora told her a prophecy that was overheard by a young wolf outside the room.

 

_“With hair that shines like the sun and eyes made of gold,_

_This halfbreed shall be gifted all the power of the moon._

_Shadow and moonlight, soulmates in nature,_

_are more powerful together._

_Once united, only they shall be able to bring about a new era of peace.”_

 

     When word of the prophecy spread, werewolves and humans all over Europe joined forces. The humans had been hunting both species, but added their strength to ours in order to permanently destroy the vampires. But since then no halfbreed has matched the description or been gifted “all the power of the moon”, so it's been dismissed as a fluke.” Lyla starts talking as soon as Danny finishes.

 

     “Your mother was the first seer since Aurora, it's a rare gift. So I didn't think it was strange when I found her in the Hall of Records, digging through old prophecies. She was muttering to herself and was very distraught. I thought she upset because she hadn't had any visions in years. That night, her and Rick, your father, disappeared. I found a note from Charlotte in my room that said she was sorry, but she had to leave to protect her daughter. We had just found out she was pregnant the day before, so she must have had a vision that showed you.

 

     Three years after they left, I managed to track them down in Canada. You were such a tiny toddler and your eyes were so bright. Charlotte and Rick asked me to keep their location a secret and Charlotte asked me to do something else for her. She wanted me to locate anyone with a shadow related power and give her their names.” Lyla pauses to wipe at her eyes with a knuckle. I can feel the tears returning to my eyes as well. I haven't thought about my mom this much since I cried on Carmilla.

 

     Lyla takes my hand in hers. “Your mother believed you are the halfbreed in the Rose Prophecy, that's why she hid. The vampire who killed Aurora is still alive. You are a threat to all vampires and would become a target if they knew you were finally here. Somehow they found about Charlotte’s gift and killed her for it. We think they didn’t want her to use her power to find the halfbreed. Rick brought you here to keep you safe.” She glances at Danny and then back at me. “I kept looking for shadow Gifts for years afterwards. Danny is the only wolf alive who has one.”

 

     I look at Danny. She hasn't moved while Lyla spoke, her head still down. “So what does that mean?” I ask. “Why did my mom want people with shadow gifts?”

 

     “We're the soulmates in the prophecy. Shadow and moonlight. Tomorrow, when you change under the full moon, we will find out for sure.” Danny says quietly.

 

 _‘Ohhhhh fish sticks. Laf was right, again.’_ Danny thinks we’re soulmates. Lyla does too. They think I’m some prophesized savior. I can’t run in socks in my kitchen without falling, how am I supposed to defeat an entire race? More importantly, am I really supposed to believe the person I’m meant to be with for the rest of my life was chosen three hundred year ago? And I don’t get any say? My eyes stray to Danny. I remember how flustered I was when we first met. Now, I can’t imagine her as more than just a friend. I can’t imagine being in love with her.

 

_“Vous êtes la seule lumière dans ma sombre sans fin.”_

 

     A sultry voice, dark curls and a wicked smirk come to mind at the thought of being in love. _‘I seriously need to figure out my feelings for Carmilla, this is getting ridiculous.’_ I’m going to deal with the soulmate thing later. At the moment, the whole changing under the full moon thing seems more pressing.

 

     “So let me see if I got all that.” I start to pace. “Werewolves and vampires, are real, and are at war. A vampire killed a werewolf seer after hearing a prophecy about a halfbreed bringing peace. Humans and werewolves teamed up-” I look at Lyla and bunch up my face, “Wait, did they do that just to, like, make halfbreeds?” She shrugs noncommittally. “That’s kinda messed up. Okay, moving on. My mom was a seer and had vision of the future that drove her to go into hiding. She was killed by vampires and my dad brought me to the middle of nowhere. Now, you believe me and my…soulmate, are going to fulfill the prophecy and end the war.”

 

     “Basically, yeah.” Madison says, earning her a look from Danny.

 

     “And I have been lied to my whole life. Fantastic. What’s going to happen tomorrow? Am I going to grow claws and fangs when the moon comes up? Am I going to turn into some wolf-beast thing and rampage all over town? What is my dad planning on doing? He knows this is going to happen, right?” I start to hyperventilate, cutting off my questions. I was so shocked by all the information before, it's just now processing that I AM A WEREWOLF.

 

     “Your mother made your father promise to contact me on your birthday if anything were to happen to her. I'm expecting him to call me at some point.” Lyla explains, placing a calming hand on my shoulder. “Don't tell him we met tonight. We wouldn't want him to disappear with you again as some kind of knee-jerk reaction.” I nod my head in agreement, because yeah, he would totally do that. “I'll tell him to bring you here to meet me. The change requires an alpha to initiate properly. So, nothing will happen to you until then. For now, go home and rest. This is a lot of information to process, I know.”

 

    “C’mon, Hollis. I'll walk you back.” Danny drapes an arm over my shoulders and steers me in the direction of the park.

 

     My feet are moving on their own. Although, this time it's because My mind is completely numb, not because I'm possessed. I don't acknowledge the girls or Lyla as Danny leads me away. The only thought in my head is ‘I am a werewolf’. My mother was a werewolf. My father was a hunter. Is still a hunter? That explains all the safety concerns and paranoia that defined my childhood. Why didn't he ever tell me? Well actually, I doubt I would have believed him. And it's not like he can sprout fangs at will. But still, this isn't exactly something you just put off. My whole life is going to change and he kept it from me.

 

     My thoughts are interrupted by Danny telling me to watch my step. I glance up and see that we have made it to the park. A small smile pulls at my lips when I look at the playground. I instantly feel lighter. The knot in my stomach loosens. My heart is still beating against my chest, but for a different reason. All it takes is one thought of Carmilla for my mood to do a complete one-eighty. I can't wait for tomorrow. Hopefully her surprise will take my mind off everything for a while. When I'm with her nothing else matters, the rest of the world fades into the background.

 

     When I look around again, we are standing in front of my house. Danny is kicking at the ground, waiting for me to get out of my head.

 

     “Thanks for walking me home, Danny. It would have taken me all night to find my own way back.” I say, giving her a warm smile.

 

     “No problem, Hollis.” She returns my smile, leaning down.

 

     I lean forward to give her a hug. All of a sudden her hand is cupping my cheek and her lips are against mine. _‘Holy Hufflepuff.’_ My whole body freezes. I don't know what to do. Danny straightens up and opens her eyes. Her brow furrows as she takes in how stiff I am.

 

     “S-sorry, I don't know why I did that.” She stutters out. She takes a few steps back.

 

     I shake my head and force myself to smile. “It's fine, really. Don't worry about it. Good night.” Without looking her in the eye, I turn and walk inside. _‘Could this night get more confusing.’_ My dad is pulling an over night shift at the station, so I don't have to worry about waking him up as I stomp up the stairs.

 

     I fall asleep wishing I was feeling the ghost of someone else's kiss.

 

_~/~_

 

     After school, Laf runs up to me at my locker, shit-eating grin plastered on their face. “Sooooooo, hot date today?” They wiggle their eyebrows.

 

     “Oh my god stop.” I groan, dropping my head against the locker door.

 

     “What? I'm just curious as to why our celebration is postponed to tomorrow.” Now they're poking me in the side.

 

     “Carmilla has something planned.” I admit. “But it's not a hot date.” I kinda regret telling them how often Carmilla comes over. They would have figured it out regardless.

 

     “Whatever you say, little L.”

 

     Perry joins us and we all head out to where the buses are waiting. Danny catches up as we reach the doors. She says hi to Perry and Laf, and gives me a shy wave. English and lunch were extremely awkward today. Neither of us mentioned her kissing me last night, but it was clearly at the forefront of both our minds. Luckily, LaFontaine is excitedly talking about their latest experiment so I can pretend to be more interested in that than Danny.

 

     Laf’s defense of using human test subjects stops short along with them. They look out to the student parking lot, eyes bulging from their head. “Oh shit.”

 

     I follow their gaze to see what has them so stunned. _‘Oh shit.’_ A black Jeep Wrangler with tinted windows is parked as close to the school as it can get. Casually leaning against the passenger door is Carmilla. She's wearing almost the exact same outfit as the night we met. Combat boots, black skinny jeans, leather jacket, and a Led Zeppelin shirt. Her dark eyes are hidden behind dark aviator sunglasses. She has a thumb hooked through a belt loop and the other hand behind her back. I know she sees me when a small smile replaces her scowl. I wave and she smirks in return.

 

     “Laura, you forgot to mention Carmilla is a bona fide supermodel.” Laf says. “I totally forgive you for postponing. Have fun later.” They wink and grab Perry’s hand, dragging her towards the buses.

 

     “See you both tomorrow!” Perry calls over her shoulder. “And Laura, she's very pretty.”

 

     I blush and wave goodbye. Danny is full on glaring at Carmilla when I turn to her.

 

     “Who's that?” She asks. The venom in her voice shocks me.

 

     “That's Carmilla, my…friend. She has something planned for my birthday. I didn't know she was going to be here though.” I reply, a huge smile on my face. I can't believe Carmilla is picking me up from school. She always says she's too busy during the day to get together. With what, I Idon't know. I start to walk over to where Carmilla is waiting. “See you later!”

 

     “Laura, wait.” Danny grabs my arm, hard, and spins me around. “Are you really going to go with her?”

 

     I yank my arm from her grasp. “What the hell, Danny?”

 

     Her eyes harden when they flick from me to Carmilla. “She looks like bad news. Let me drive you home.”

 

     I narrow my eyes at her for a second before answering. “You don't know anything about her. She's my friend, so yes, I'm really going with her. And I don't need your approval.”

 

     Danny looks like she's about to keep arguing, but I give her look that changes her mind. “I just want you to be safe.”

 

     “I'm safe with Carmilla. Bye Danny.” I turn on my heel and walk away. I don't know where this sudden protectiveness came from, but it's not going to fly. I already have one dad, I don't need another. We’re going to have to have a serious talk if this soulmate thing is real.

 

     Carmilla’s eyebrow is raised and her head is tilted slightly in curiosity when I approach. “Looks like the jolly ginger giant isn't too happy I'm here.” She chuckles.

 

     “Doesn't matter.” I throw my arms around her neck and hug her tight. Her hand frees itself from her belt loop and slips around to hold me against her. “Carm, what are you doing here?” My question is muffled by the collar of her jacket.

 

     “I told you to keep your afternoon free, cupcake. It's the afternoon.” She says matter-of-factly. “These are for you.” The hand behind her back comes out, holding three sunflowers tied together by a yellow ribbon. She's biting her lip and looking anywhere but my eyes.

 

 _‘_ _She is so damn adorable when she's nervous.’_ I take the flowers, holding them close to my chest. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

 

     She mumbles a no problem before opening the door with a bow, gesturing for me to get in. “Your chariot, m’lady.” She says in an English accent.

 

     “You’re such a dork.” I say with a shake of my head. “I am a little surprised though. I pegged you as a muscle car kinda girl.”

 

     After she climbs in behind the wheel, she leans over and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. “Well I decided against the Camaro, considering the present company.”

 

     The nonchalance of the kiss throws me for a moment. _‘I want to be able to do that all the time.’_ I’m about to ask what she means by that when something big and furry pops up between us from the back. Twisting in my seat, I find myself face-to-face with a very large Rottweiler. “Whoa! Hello there.”

 

     “This is Scout. We’re taking her to the park across town.” Carmilla explains, scratching the top of the dog’s head. “If that’s okay with you.” She adds quickly. The engine roars to life when she turns the key. As we leave the parking lot I can see people turning their heads to watch the Jeep go by.

 

     “Oh okay. That sounds fun.” I hold my hand out for Scout to sniff. “Scout, like from _To Kill A Mockingbird_?” Carmilla hums in confirmation. “Does that make you Boo Radley? All secretive and living in the shadows. Only coming out at night.” I ask dramatically.

 

     She lowers her head and looks at me over her sunglasses before looking back to the road. “I'll come out whenever you want me to, cutie.” Her voice is low and husky, causing that familiar ache flare up between my legs. I clench my thighs together. Her smirk grows, she knows the effect her voice has. “Plus, it's the middle of the day and here I am.” She adds with fake enthusiasm.

 

     “Why did you pick me up so early? To be honest, I didn't expect you till the sun went down.” After asking, I look around the inside of her car. Its clean, but cluttered. The cup holders in the center console are filled with empty packs of gum and wrappers. I smile when I remember Laf giving me a piece of mint gum a couple days ago. I gagged and spit it out. I have become so used to the taste of the spearmint Carmilla always has, that anything else tastes wrong. I notice a bag in the back that was clearly for the flowers she gave me. I put then back in, hoping this will help them last until I get home. After a few minutes of silence, I wonder if she heard me. She's chewing on her lip and anxiously tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. “Carm?”

 

     “Oh sorry. Uh, I normally take Scout out at night, since I'm busy during the day. I feel bad that she doesn't get to be in the sunlight much, so I figured I could combine your surprise with taking her to the park.” She shoots a small smile my way. “And I know you don't like always meeting so late.”

 

     I return her smile with a bright one of my own. “Your secret is safe with me.” She raises an eyebrow. “That you're actually a huge sap. I won't tell anyone.” My smile turns into a sarcastic grin when she glares out the windshield, now refusing to look at me.

 

     “Shut up.” She mutters.

 

     I laugh and turn up the radio. It's playing a rock song I vaguely recognize is playing. Carmilla must know it because I can hear her humming along. I was going to change to a Top 40 station, but seeing her shoulders relax makes me leave it. We drive for another ten minutes without talking. At some point Carmilla reaches over and grabs my hand to hold it on the center console. Her eyes never leave the road, but when I interlock our fingers I see her try to hold back a smile.

 

     Carmilla parks in an empty corner of the lot next to the park. She kills the engine and jumps out before I can even get my seatbelt off. Scout, who had fallen asleep in the backseat, is now pawing at the door behind me. Carmilla opens both our doors at the same time and the Rottweiler launches herself out of the car. Carmilla holds out a hand to help me step down. She grabs a leash and a backpack from the trunk before locking the doors. She takes my hand again and follows her dog. Scout is digging in the mulch under the playground, which is much larger than the one by my house. I assume that's where we are going, but Carmilla walks past, heading for the open field beyond it. She stops underneath a tall tree and plops down at its base. The tree’s shadow stretches out in from of us, blocking the sunlight. The temperature is unseasonably warm, but still a little too cold to be sitting in the shade in my opinion. Carmilla pulls me down so that I'm sitting between her legs, leaning back against her. Her arms snake around to lay on my stomach and she rests her cheek against the top of my head.

 

     “You didn't answer my question last night.” She says quietly.

 

     It takes me a moment to figure out what she means. I feel my neck heat up when I remember. “Oh, right. Sorry, I fell asleep.” I say weakly. That is the most pathetic excuse I have ever used. But I can't tell her what really happened. _‘Yeah sorry, I was summoned to the middle of the woods by my mom’s best friend, a werewolf, and she told me that I'm a werewolf too. Surprise.’_

 

     Her arms tighten around me’ pulling me even closer to her. “So answer me now. Do you know how beautiful you are?” Her breath ghosting over my ear sends a chill through my body. She starts to alternate running the tip of her nose and her lips along my neck.

 

    “No.” I whisper. I'm not trying to get her to tell me. It's the truth. I've always been adorable little Laura. No one has ever looked at me the way Carmilla does. I don't know what she sees.

 

     “Your smile is like the sun. I feel warmer, happier, when I see it. As much as I love looking at the stars, I would chose to stay inside with you every night if I could. Your eyes shine brighter than everything in the sky, ma lumière. From now on, I'll tell you everyday. Laura Hollis, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.” Her voice is steady and sincere. Each word is said with conviction.

 

     I cant stop the tears from falling. _‘How does she do that?’_ How does she know exactly what words to say. There are too many emotions fluttering in my chest for me to respond. I spin around so I'm straddling her lap. She brings her hands up and wipes away the tears with her thumbs. I look into her eyes, they're already on mine. The brown of her irises is so dark they're almost black. Her pupils dilate more and more the longer I stare. Eventually her gaze drops to my lips. I lean forward, pressing her into the tree with a searing kiss. Im nowhere near as good with words as she is, so I try to tell her how I feel with this kiss. She pushes me back by my shoulders before it can get too heated.

   

     “Wait, wait.” She's panting and I can't help but smirk. I did that. “I have to give you your present before I forget.”

 

     I move back a little bit so she can reach the backpack she threw down earlier. While she digs through the bag, I look over my shoulder into the field. Scout is running around, chasing leaves blown into the air by the wind. A giggle escapes my lips when the dog’s teeth just miss the leaf she lunged for. I feel Carmilla straighten up and turn back to face her. She is trying to smooth out a crumpled piece of paper on her thigh. Her eyes linger a second or two before she looks at me.

   

     “Happy birthday, Cupcake.”

     

     The paper is thrust into my hands. I gasp when I realize what it is. _‘My questions, I can't believe this.’_ She answered every single one. Her neat, slanted handwriting stands out next to my quickly written down words. I read down the list. Most of this I know now, I did manage to get her to open up a little more in the past couple weeks. My hands start to shake when I get to her favorite movie. She was so against giving me an explanation that night. Next to The Silence of the Lambs it says ‘This is a classic, do you really need a reason?’ What is written next to It’s a Wonderful Life steals the air from my lungs. ‘Helps me hope I will get a second chance at life. A chance to actually be happy.’

 

     “Carm, how did you…?”

 

     “You left it in the playground.” She rubs the back of her neck. “Thanks for not giving up on me, even though I was being a real bitch. I, uh, put a question for you on the back.”

 

_Will you be my girlfriend?_

_(Feel free to kiss me if the answer is yes.)_

           

     Im smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. Carmilla is looking at me expectantly. I cant resist messing with her. “What will I get out of this, cutie?” I whisper in her ear.

     

     She walks her fingers up my arm. “Oh, I have all kinds of thoughts about that.” She drawls. As soon as her head begins to drop, mine tilts to the side on reflex, giving her more access to my neck. “So, is that a yes?”

     

     “Of cour- Carm!” My answer is cut off when Carmilla is suddenly yanked from benethe me. I turn around to find her floating six inches off the ground. Her eyes are screwed shut and her hands are clawing at her throat. I stare at her. _‘What the hell do I do?!’_ I start to frantically look around to see if there is anyone who can help. Scout is the only other living thing within earshot. Seeing the Rottweiler gives me an idea. _‘She wouldn’t…’_ I stand up and scan the edge of the field where it backs up against a forest.

 

     “Mel let her go!” I yell as loud as I can. I know she will be able to hear me wherever she is.

 

     Nothing happens, and I’m about to yell again when Carmilla drops to the ground. She gets up on one knee, massaging her neck. I’m stunned when she lifts her head. Brilliant silver eyes look up at me, pupils slitted. They return to normal when she blinks.

 

     “Are you okay?” I ask, kneeling beside her.

 

     She just nods and stands up. A loud whistle pierces the air. Scout runs up, skidding to a halt in front of Carmilla. She snaps her fingers twice and points to me. After I stand up as well, Scout moves a couple steps in front of me.

 

     “Laura! Get away from her!” Danny’s voice comes from the trees. Her, Mel, and the other three girls are running towards us.

 

     Carmilla is now standing right next to me, her muscles tense. When Danny is a couple yards away, Scout bares her teeth and snarls, effectively stopping the tall girl in her tracks.

 

     “Danny, are you serious? Did you follow us here?” I ball my fists at my sides to keep them from shaking with rage. If this were a cartoon, steam would be billowing from my ears.

 

     Danny raises her hands in front of her. I cant tell if the action is supposed to reassure me or the snarling dog, probably both. “Look, Laura, I can explain later. Right now I need you to come over here with me.”

 

     “No. This is crazy. You can’t just go around attaking people because you’re jealous.” I cross my arms over my chest.

 

     Mel barks out a laugh. “She’s not a person.” An arrow floats by her head, pointing at Carmilla. “She’s a vampire.”

 

     The words seem to hit Carmilla like a blow and she stumbles away from me.

 

 _‘Carm, a vampire?’_ “Oh.” I say, turning to her. “Okay.”

 

     Her head whips up, surprise written all over her usually blank face.

 

     “Well, that certainly explains a lot.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments! I never expected this kind of reaction.
> 
> For now the point of view is going to stay Laura's. I haven't decided if I want to do Carmilla's yet, but the plot might need it at some point.
> 
> I'm thinking of writing a one-shot of the first two chapters from Carmilla's point of view though. Let me know if that interests anyone.


	4. Her Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone!
> 
> This is a short one, sorry.

** 4 **

** Her Side **

****

     “Well, that certainly explains a lot.”

 

     It does. All the odd things I noticed about her make sense now. I should probably be scared. She’s a vampire and I’m a werewolf. I should get as far away as possible. I just can’t get myself to feel that way. She’s still Carmilla. The girl who climbs onto my roof for a chance to see me. The girl who pretends to not know what’s going on in the show so she can listen to me excitedly explain it to her. The girl whose touch makes my heart race. Except now, she’s also a vampire, and I don’t care.

 

     Carmilla stares at me, her eyes searching mine. I stare right back. I know what she's doing. She's looking for fear, waiting for me to run from her. That's the last thing I want to do. I need to reassure her before she runs from me. “Carm,” I take a step to her and see her body stiffen, “it's alright. I don't-”

 

     “Alright? She just tried to eat you! How is that alright?” Danny moves forward while talking and Scout gnashes her teeth. I wonder why one dog is all that is keeping the werewolf back.

 

     I hear a scoff from Carmilla. “Wait, you thought that was me trying to eat her? You need to get out more, Clifford.” She says sarcastically. Her hands are in her pockets as she saunters up next to me. From the mocking smirk she has on, I guess she has recovered from the shock of Mel’s reveal. She looks relaxed as she puts her arm around my waist, but her eyes shift between each of the girls in front of us. “I would only eat the creampuff if she asked me to.” Danny bristles at the wink Carmilla shoots her.

 

     I feel my face heat up. The mental image conjured by her implication makes me squirm. Only Carmilla would say something like that to an already pissed off werewolf. Suddenly I register what she just said. My hand covers my mouth in an attempt to keep the giggle in. I fail. “Sorry,” I say when everyone looks at me, “but come on, Clifford? That was pretty funny.” Carmilla pulls me closer and kisses the side of my head, her smirk widening.

 

     “Are you not listening? She is a vampire, Laura.” Danny’s agitation is clear in her voice. “A mindless killer. You can't trust her.” She's glaring hard at the hand on my hip

 

     “Werewolves and their righteous superiority. Don't act all high and mighty. How often do cubs lose themselves in transition and terrorize a nearby village?” Carmilla asks. “The torches and pitchforks aren't always for us.”

 

     Danny glares at her. “That's different. They don't choose to do that. Unlike vampires, who drain people dry for fun.” She turns to me. “Laura, please. You need to come over here. You don't understand how dangerous she is.”

 

     I'm starting to get real sick of people telling me what I know and don't know. Carmilla’s hand tightens its grip on my hip. Her smirk turns into a predatory grin. “You'll see just how dangerous I am if Robin Hood over there doesn't put that arrow away.”

 

     Mel just laughs and starts to bring out another arrow when Danny raises a hand to stop her. “Mel, wait. Don't give her a reason to hurt Laura.” She says quietly. Mel lowers the arrow back into her quiver.

 

     “Hurt Laura? I'd rather drink holy water.” Carmilla says seriously.

 

     “Why are you here then? Vampires have been killing every blonde halfbreed they can find for hundreds of years. You expect me to believe that you showing up here, the same time we did, is a coincidence? That the girl you've seduced this time just happens to be Charlotte Rowan’s daughter. I know who your sire is, Karnstein, and how you do anything she says.” Danny is practically yelling now.

 

     Carmilla lets go of me and takes a few steps forward, squaring up to the red head. She rests a hand on Scout’s neck. “You don't know shit about that prophecy,” She says calmly, “or me. I'm here for reasons of my own.”

 

     “Who is your sire?” I ask. The mention of my mom drew me from my silent observation. I'm no longer content to just let the two argue. I remember how Carmilla closed up after talking about her past. Now that I know she's a vampire, everything she told me means something different.

 

     Danny looks at me over the vampire’s shoulder. “Her sire is Lilita Morgan. The vampire who killed Aurora Rose. The vampire who had your mother killed. The vampire who wants you dead.”

 

     Carmilla keeps her back to me, but I see her shoulders drop when I ask, “She's who took you traveling, isn't she?”

 

     "Yes.”

 

     "What did she mean by ‘seduced this time’? Is that why you're here? Are you just having fun before you kill me for your mother?” My heart plummets at the thought. _‘Was any of it real?’_

 

     There's a blur of black and then Carmilla is right in front of me. Her hands hold my face like they have so many times before. My chest tightens as I look in her eyes, they're shimmering with unshed tears. “No, Laura, no.” She says softly. “Don't you dare think that. I am 335 years old and I've never felt like this about anyone before. Gods, I hate that stupid prophecy, ever since that seer said it. It's so open to interpretation. Everyone thinks destruction when they hear it. I hear salvation. You are my second chance, Laura, and I won't let anyone take you from me. Especially not my mother.” She closes her eyes and presses her forehead against mine. “Mother has tried so hard to make sure I never found you. I've been searching for so long. Don't leave me, please. I don't think I could take it.” Her voice breaks at the last request.

 

     “I won't.” I pull her into a hug, her head on my chest. All doubts are gone now, that much pain can't be faked. “I won't.”

 

     We stay like that for a few minutes, until her shaky breaths even out. I glance at the five werewolves staring at us, their faces showing various states of disbelief. I'm shocked too. I knew Carmilla could be vulnerable, but I never expected her to show it to anyone but me. Desperate times, I guess. We need to have a very long conversation, but later. Right now, Danny is still glaring daggers at the vampire in my arms. Unfortunately, I don't think it's just because of the vampire thing.

 

     “Carm, we need to convince the werewolves that want to kill you, to uh, not.” I say.

 

     She straightens up and rolls her neck. Then she pouts. It should not be possible to look that hot and that adorable at the same time, just no. “Do I have to? I could have us in the car and halfway to the next state before they even realized we were gone.”

 

     “I need them, so you have to play nice.” I say sternly.

 

     “Fine.” She huffs.

 

     I take her hand and walk us up to where Scout is still standing guard. That is one obedient dog. Carmilla lets out a short, low whistle and pats her leg with her free hand. Scout trots to her side and sits. Carmilla absentmindedly scratches the dog’s head.

 

     Danny crosses her arms over her chest, looking down her nose at me. “A couple crocodile tears are all it takes for you to disregard everything I said. I didn't think you would be that naïve, Hollis.”

 

     Her condescending tone makes my blood boil. “Just because I don't shoot first, ask questions later doesn't make me naïve. Of course I have concerns, like how she isn't surprised werewolves are following me, which I will talk to _her_ about. But she has had plenty of time to kill me and she hasn't, so I trust her. I don't care that she's a vampire; she deserves to have her side of the story heard.”

 

     I see Carmilla's jaw drop out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head to see her looking at me with a mixture of awe and something else. The heaviness of it makes my head spin. There's a warmth blossoming in my chest, but before I can think about it, she's pulling me into a bruising kiss. The passion in her lips has me seeing stars. I'm grinning like an idiot when we break apart.

 

     "Sorry, cutie, had to do that.” She breathes with a smile.

 

     A commotion to the side draws my attention. Mel and Madison are bodily dragging a growling Danny behind Betty and Elsie. Betty clears her throat. “I agree with you, both of you, actually.” She jerks a thumb over her shoulder, “They won't like it, but I'll listen to whatever you have to say. First, I want to know why you made it sound like you were there when Rose gave the prophecy.” Betty's analytical eyes focus on Carmilla.

 

     Carmilla is silent while meeting the tall blonde’s gaze. Then she shrugs and answers simply, “Because I was.”

 

     At this, all heads whip to the girl next to me. “Care to elaborate?” Betty asks.

 

     “Not particularly.” I nudge her with my elbow. “You're lucky you're cute, cupcake. Hold on.” She mutters. Her hand slips out of mine as she walks back to the tree we were sitting under earlier. She returns wearing her aviators, which she had taken off when we sat down. “The sun is killing me.” Glancing at the sky I see what she means. The setting sun is at that weird angle where we are standing in the shadow of the tree, but the light is hitting us. Her hand finds its way back into mine.

 

     Then she exhales slowly, preparing herself. “Not long after I turned, Mother found a use for my powers. She heard that there was a powerful seer in your Moon Keep. She had me sneak us past the defenses and get the seer alone. I was standing in the back of the room when Mother demanded Rose tell her everything she could about her future. She tried to tell Mother that she couldn't get visions at will. Mother grabbed her by the throat and said she gets a vision or she dies. When the seer started to convulse I thought she was dying. Then her eyes turned completely black and she pointed right at me. Her voice sounded like it was coming from inside my head when she spoke.

 

_You who lives in shadows,_

_You shall find your match in a young halfbreed._

_Your night will end when the stars lose their light._

_With hair that shines like the sun and eyes made of gold,_

_This halfbreed shall be gifted all the power of the moon._

_Shadow and moonlight, soulmates in nature,_

_are more powerful together._

_Once united, only they shall be able to bring about a new era of peace.”_

 

     Carmilla rakes her hand through her hair. “Mother killed Rose before her eyes even returned to normal. If she had known someone else had heard she would have killed them too. She threatened me a fate worse than death if I told anyone what happened.”

 

     “How do we know you’re telling the truth?”  Elsie asks. “There’s no record of you being there or your version of the prophecy.”

 

     Carmilla sighs. “That is the most moronic thing I have ever heard.” She says under her breath. I nudge her again. She takes a deep breath before replying. “One: I’m very good at not being seen when I don’t want to be, it’s kind of my thing. Two: What reason would I have to make up my own version? I can prove how old I am, so it is possible for me to have been there. Whoever overheard must have missed the beginning. Honestly, I’m impressed the original wording has held up over the centuries.”

 

     Danny shakes off Mel and stands next to Betty. “So you’re saying the prophecy werewolves and hunters have been dedicating their existence to fulfilling, is meant for you.” She snarls.

 

     I look at Carmilla’s profile as she stares at Danny. Her eyes narrow and her jaw clenches. Her grip on my hand tightens. _‘That_ _jawline though, damn.’_

 

_“All the lives we’ve led, the people we’ve been, nothing to that light.”_

_“Vous êtes la seule lumière dans ma sombre sans fin.”_

_“Your eyes shine brighter than everything in the sky, ma lumière.”_

_“Your night will end when the stars lose their light.”_

_“I hear salvation.”_

_“A chance to actually be happy.”_

     My mind reels when all the pieces come together. I now know what she sees when she looks at me. I can suddenly name the emotion in her eyes I couldn’t before. Of everything I have had to process in the last twenty-four hours, this hits me the hardest. This girl has waited over three hundred years…for me. _‘No pressure or anything.’_ A certain four letter word keeps trying to work its way into my thoughts, but I block it out. It is too soon for that.

 

     “Words don’t do shit. Prophecies are just words if we ignore them. They only have weight because we give it to them.” Carmilla’s voice is low when she finally speaks. “You say werewolves and hunters have dedicated their existence to searching for the all-powerful halfbreed who will destroy the vampires, why?” She looks at each of the wolves in front of her before continuing, “Because that is what _you_ believe the words to mean, my mother, too. She believes they mean I am going to betray her, that the halfbreed will kill her with my help. She spends so much time making sure I never get anywhere near any halfbreed that even remotely fits the description.”

 

     I can't take my eyes off of her face. Every word is seared into my memory. I have a feeling this a rare opportunity, for both me and the others listening.

 

     “I am so sick of fighting, running, and hiding. I didn’t choose to be part of this damn war. I didn’t choose to be murdered. I didn’t choose to turn into a monster. I certainly didn’t choose to be one of the ones responsible for ‘a new era of peace’. I spent years, decades, and then centuries, thinking the prophecy will fulfill itself. I believed everything would work out if I was patient, because it’s my destiny or whatever. Well, I’m tired of waiting. I don’t know what the prophecy means, nor do I care. I do know nothing is going to change unless we actually do something about it. So even if Laura doesn’t end up having all the power of the moon, I'm staying. I don't need a prophecy to tell me I've found something worth fighting for.” Carmilla sits down, legs buckling underneath her, like the effort of the speech has exhausted her.

 

     I almost fall on top of her since she didn’t let go of my hand on her way down. Somehow, I manage to end up kneeling next to her. She leans her head on my shoulder. Looking up, it’s clear all five girls are seriously considering the vampire’s words. I understand what she is saying, in her melodramatic way. Our future is in our hands. Those with the power can tell us what it holds, but it’s our actions and decisions that get us there. Like a treasure map. We know the destination, but it's up to us to find it. I look at the dark haired girl next to me. It took her multiple lifetimes to figure that out. The hopelessness she must have felt is unimaginable.

 

     Carmilla turns her head, lips brushing against my ear, “I’ve spoken more in the past twenty minutes than I have in the last five years.” She whispers.

 

     With a small smile, I tilt my head down to give her a chaste kiss. "Thank you."

 

     “You’re making me nauseous.” Mel sneers.

 

     Danny, shaking fists clenched at her sides, still looks like she would rather break Carmilla’s neck than listen to her any longer. Her scowl morphs into a smug grin, “You seem pretty confident that you are the shadow. Sounds to me like the halfbreed is going to kill you too. Find your match, your night will end. How do you know you’re going to meet your soulmate and not your death?” She asks the vampire.

 

     Carmilla breaks eye contact with me to give Danny a confused look. “Seriously, Red? Everything I just said and you’re hung up on supposed soulmates?” Her eyes narrow at the taller girl. I imagine I can hear the gears turning in her head. “Oh hell no,” Carmilla groans, “I am not going to be a part of some Twilight, love triangle shit.”

 

     Mel scoffs, Madison snorts, Elsie and Betty smirk, and Danny chokes. I cover my face with my hands. I knew it would come up eventually. I was just really hoping it wouldn’t. Based on their interactions so far, Carmilla doesn’t need any more ammunition to use against Danny.

 

     “Shut it, Fangface. I haven’t decided whether or not to rip your throat out yet.” Danny snarls.

 

     “Whoa, down Cujo.” Carmilla is struggling not to laugh. “I’d like to see you try.”

 

     The wolf lunges forward, teeth bared. The vampire vanishes at the same moment. She appears behind a confused Danny, dragging her back by her collar, and disappearing again. As Danny falls to the ground, Carmilla returns to my side. I gape at her. The exchange couldn’t have taken more than five seconds. It’s the only proof of her being supernatural since I saw her eyes turn silver.

 

     She shrugs while standing up. I take her offered hand, smiling as she pulls me up and spins me around before putting me down. She leads me back to the base of the tree, leaving the group of sputtering girls to stare at our backs. Scout runs ahead of us, her tail wagging as she waits by Carmilla’s bag. I make sure to pick up the paper I dropped earlier. The question on the back catches my eye and my breath catches. _‘Holy crap. I completely forgot.’_ When Mel started force choking her, it slipped my mind.

 

     Carmilla asked me to be her girlfriend. I said yes. I’m Carmilla’s girlfriend. Carmilla Karnstein is my girlfriend. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

 

     I raise my head and find her staring at me. She gives a genuine smile that I can’t help but return. _‘She’s mine.’_ The thought has my heart beating a mile a minute. A low growl from Scout alerts me to the sound of footsteps approaching.

 

     Betty is standing a couple yards away when I turn around. She looks me in the eye for a moment or two before shifting her gaze to the girl next to me. “We will be contacting the Keep tonight to inform them of this…situation. I’m sure the alphas will be glad to know we have Lilita’s prized daughter on our side.”

 

     “I’m not on your side,” Camilla interrupts and looks at me, “I’m on her side.”

 

     Betty glances between us, nodding. “Noted. Does your mother know where you are?” Carmilla shakes her head no. “Good. Any official decision on what to do with you will most likely be held off to after Laura changes tonight.” The vampire frowns slightly at that, but Betty ignores it. “For now, just lay low.” Without waiting for any kind of acknowledgement, she turns on her heel and walks away. The blonde pauses after a few steps and looks over her shoulder, “For the record, I believe you.” Betty doesn’t stop again after that.

 

     Bag over her shoulder, Carmilla takes my hand. “Let’s go, cupcake. I should get you home before we’re ambushed again.”

 

     The sun has sunk below the trees without me noticing. We walk back the car and drive back to our neighborhood in silence. Both of us are lost in our own thoughts. The Jeep comes to a stop in front of a house I don’t recognize.

 

     “Um, Carm, this isn’t my house.”

 

     “I know, it’s mine. Hold tight for a second.”

 

     She hops out and opens the rear door to get Scout. They enter through the front door. I crane my neck to be able to see more of the house. Its small, one level, and nondescript. Which makes sense if Carmilla is hiding from her mother. There’s a detached one-car garage set slightly farther back than the house. _‘I wonder if she was kidding about the Camaro?’_ When she suddenly pops up in the driver’s seat, I jump so high my head hits the roof. She bursts out laughing and I glare at her, which only makes her laugh harder.

 

     “Don’t be mad. That was too good an opportunity to pass up.” She says after calming down.

 

     I turn up the radio instead of acknowledging her. Then I cross my arms and stare out the windshield defiantly.

 

     “Ahhh the silent treatment, huh? Okay, that’s fine. I have all the time in the world.”

 

     I see her wink in my peripheral. I roll my eyes but keep my head facing forward. I won’t break that easily. Luckily, it’s not a far drive to my house; so only one song has played when we pull into the driveway. As usual, Carmilla is out and opening my door before I have undone my seatbelt. She didn’t even use her vampire speed; I just have the worst luck with this buckle.

 

     “So, since you’re my girlfriend now, I guess I should use the front door?” She asks while closing the car behind me.

 

     Something sparks inside me at her words. I surprise both of us by spinning her around and pinning her against the car, my hands and hips holding her in place.

 

     “Say it again.” I demand, my lips brushing hers lightly.

 

     Her pupils quickly eclipse her irises and her breathing becomes ragged, “You’re my girlfriend,” She husks.

 

     I surge forward, immediately plunging my tongue into her mouth. Nothing she has ever said has turned me on as much as that. My hands tangle in her hair and hers slide into my back pockets. We sigh into each other as she gently gropes my butt. When I pull my head back to breath, she drops her lips to my neck.

 

     “Your obsession makes more sense now.”

 

     She just chuckles and nips at my pulse point. Her lips kiss along my jaw before connecting with mine again. She flips us around, pressing her body into mine. I can’t believe the moan that comes out of me when she slips her thigh between my legs. The universe shrinks down to how soft her lips are, how her touch sends electricity through my body, and how I need _more._

     The bang of the front door opening jerks me back to reality.

 

     “Carmilla Karnstein. We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am loving the feedback! Thank you all so much. 
> 
> Working in retail over the holidays made it difficult to update when I wanted to. Hopefully that will change now, no promises though.


	5. 17th Century Idea of Game

** 5 **

** 17th Century Idea of Game **

 

 

     Rick Hollis is a big man. Not Dwayne Johnson big. More like Russell Crowe in Gladiator big. Intimidating enough so that one look is all you need to know he's not someone to mess with.

 

     And Carmilla was no exception. In a blink, she is three feet away from me with her hands clasped behind her back.

 

     “Now.” Dad’s voice leaves no room for argument. He turns and steps back through the front door, leaving it open.

 

     “Sir, yes, sir.” Carmilla mutters. She shoots me a wry smile before following him.

 

     I grab the sunflowers from the back seat of the Jeep. _‘There is no way in hell or Hogwarts this is going to go well.’_ When I walk inside I find my girlfriend standing just past the threshold. Dad has his arms crossed in the archway leading to the kitchen. They’re staring at each other and don’t notice me until I loudly close the door.

 

     “Laura, go to your room.” He doesn’t even glance my way when giving the order.

 

 _‘I’m sorry, what?’_ Since when does my dad give orders? I have had it up to here with people telling me what to do. “No. If you are going to talk, you are going to talk to both of us.” his eyes go wide at my anger, “Last night I had my eyes opened. I know what you are, I know what Mom was, and I know what I am. And honestly, I was more upset to find out that you have been lying to me for ten years than I was to find out my girlfriend is a vampire.”

 

     After hanging my coat, I strut past him into the kitchen. Their shocked eyes are burning holes in my back and I have to hold back a smug grin. After I fill a vase from the sink, I hold the flowers to my nose. The smug grin turns dopey when I remember how cute Carmilla was earlier.

     Dad comes in and his eyes narrow when he sees what I’m holding. “Did your _girlfriend_ get you those? When were you going to tell me?”

 

     Ignoring him, I take the ribbon and tie it around the vase before carefully arranging the three sunflowers. I school my features into a mask of indifference. “It’s kind of a new thing. Me being a werewolf, on the other hand, is not. So, _Daddy_ , when were you going to tell me? When I sprouted fur and grew claws?” I have never used such a tone with him, a part of me feels bad. Another part is furious at constantly being treated like a child.

     His head drops with a sigh, “Laura, you don't understand. I-”

 

     “You’re right. I don't understand,” I interrupt, “Because no one actually tells me anything. I'm not a naïve little girl, as much as you and Danny seem to think so.” Someone snickers behind me and I’m proud of myself for not jumping. I glance back to see Carmilla leaning against the counter. _‘When did she get there?’_ “Oh shush.” I say, smacking her arm. She just smirks and squints her eyes playfully. I turn back to my dad before I do something embarrassing, like make out with my girlfriend in front of him. He’s glaring over my shoulder in a way that makes me think she did the whole Apparating/Disapparating thing. _‘Use vampire powers in front of a pissed off vampire hunter, brilliant Carm.’_ I clear my throat softly to get back his attention. “I just want to know who I really am. Just tell me the truth. Dad, I can handle it, trust me. I’ve done a pretty good job so far.” I hear another snigger, but ignore it. Dad’s eyes are searching mine and I really need him to believe me.

 

     After staring at me for a few minutes, he sighs deeply and pinches the bridge of his nose. Then he pulls out a chair and sits at the table. “Alright kiddo, let’s talk then.”

 

     I have to resist the urge to squeal and clap my hands. That would be mature. I cannot however, keep the bounce from my step as I walk over. I sit down across from him and look up at Carmilla. She hasn’t moved, looking content to just listen to us quietly. I wave, gesturing to the chair next to me. I wasn’t kidding when I said he would have to talk to both of us. She shrugs after a moment of consideration and saunters over. My gaze drops to her swaying hips before I clamp my eyes shut. _‘Focus, Hollis!’_ She drags the chair closer to mine and plops into it. She props an ankle on the opposite leg, her bent knee pressing lightly into my thigh. I feel her arm drape over the back of my chair, brushing the back of my neck. Even this little bit of contact is hugely comforting.

 

     Dad is watching us closely when I meet his eyes again. A wistful look flickers across his face. I suddenly realize that we are about to drag up some of the most painful memories he has. How could I be so selfish? Thinking this whole situation was only affecting me. I reach over and grab one of his hands. “I’m so sorry, Dad. I wasn’t thinking. We don’t have to talk about Mom if you don’t want to.”

 

     He squeezes my hand before taking a deep breath. “No, no, it’s okay. I’ve put this off far too long and it would be foolish at this point to keep doing so. You’re right, I have been lying to you. I told myself it was to protect you, but really I was just trying to hide from the past.” His hands ball into tight fists, then he flattens them out, pressing his palms against the table. His back straightens with resolution. “You say you had your eyes opened last night, and you mentioned a Danny. I’m assuming that means you have met Lyla Summer and her pack.”

 

     “And what a lovely bunch they are.” Carmilla drawls. I glare at her. She just lifts a shoulder in a lopsided shrug, “Their first impression left something to be desired.”

 

     I shake my head and look back at my dad. His eyebrows are raised slightly. “Mel kinda tried to choke Carm out with her Gift and Danny tried to attack her,” I explain, “But everything is fine now. It was just a misunderstanding that has been cleared up.”

 

     “I don't know, Clifford still looked a little confused when we left.” Carmilla chuckles.

 

     I bite my lip to keep from smiling. I was actually pretty impressed with the restraint she showed against Danny. It was obvious the vampire could have done a lot worse than just toss her to the ground. “That was earlier today though, after Carm picked me up from school.” I say, getting the conversation back on track. “I met Lyla last night, after she did something that called me to her.”

 

     Dad frowns at that, but doesn’t comment on it. “What did she tell you?”

 

     “It was basically ‘You’re a wizard, Harry.’ But in the middle of the woods and with no cake.” He just nods. I’ve made him watch The Sorcerer’s Stone enough times to understand the reference. “She and Danny explained werewolves, the war with vampires, Gifts, the prophecy, and what Lyla knew about Mom.”

 

     Dad stares down at his hands while responding, “All I can really add is why your mom and I did what we did. Which is probably what you want to know most, isn't it?” I nod once, unable to speak. “Charlie was the first seer in over three hundred years,” His eyes shift knowingly to Carmilla and I feel her tense, “So naturally, people were excited. Everyone thought she would shed more light on the Rose prophecy or even reveal the identity of the halfbreed. But she never had any major visions. All she ever saw was the occasional vampire raid or trivial things like the weather. Then the visions stopped completely and everyone lost interest. The night after we found out she was pregnant, I found her throwing all her clothes into a suitcase. She said she saw the past, which was nearly unheard of. Your mom spent a lot of time looking over old prophecies, hoping they would trigger something.”

 

     A cold hand covers my own in my lap. I look down to see that I’m clenching my fists so tightly my knuckles are white. Carmilla works my hand open and interlocks our fingers. I brush my thumb over hers as a silent thank you.

 

     “She was holding Aurora’s when she had the vision. Charlie saw the whole event through her eyes. She could hear Aurora’s thoughts, see what she was seeing, she knew the real meaning of the prophecy. She never told me about it though, she said it would change the outcome drastically. Charlotte had barely recovered from that when she had another vision, of the future this time.” Dad inspects each of us for a moment before continuing. “She saw the two of you, as you are now. Laura, you were shining with brilliant white light and holding a silver sword in one hand. Your other hand was reaching back to hold someone else's,” He looks Carmilla in the eye, “Yours. She recognized you as the vampire with Lilita Morgan that night. It took a lot of time tracking down your name, but we did it. In the vision, you were standing almost completely in shadow. The light coming from Laura made you only slightly visible. The hand that wasn't holding Laura's was a black-furred paw with blood dripping from the claws.”

 

     I look at Carmilla. Her expression is blank. Her hand has gone limp in mine. “Carm?” I whisper. She slowly turns her head to face me. “You okay?”

 

     She blinks rapidly a few times, like she's just waking up. Then she squeezes my hand and nods. “I'm good.” She turns to my dad, “Sorry, keep going.”

 

     Dad looks between us before focusing back on me. “Charlotte once explained how her Gift works. She sees an image, or a scene, and details come to her afterwards. When she saw you two; she knew Laura was her daughter and the halfbreed everyone has been waiting for. She didn't know anything more about Carmilla other than what she had seen before. Along with that information, Charlie got the feeling that we were in danger and needed to hide. So that's what we did. We packed up and left the Keep in the middle of the night. Lyla found us in Canada a few years later, she was the first and last person from our past we spoke with before-” His breath catches in throat. “They killed her in an alley and just left her there.” He takes a couple deep breaths. I feel awful for making him talk about this. “I called Lyla to tell her what happened, and then I ran again. I thought they would come after you next, so I left Canada and hid here. I have no explanation for why I never told you any of this, other than I selfishly wanted to try and leave the pain behind. That was a mistake and I'm sorry.” His head drops into his hands.

 

     I'm up and out of my seat before he even finished speaking. My arms wrap around his shoulders in a tight hug. Neither of us say anything. We don't have to. I don't know how long we stay like that, but eventually Dad leans up and presses a quick kiss on my forehead. “I love you, kiddo.” He says into my hair.

 

     “I love you too, Dad.”

 

     He holds me for another moment before standing up. He looks down at Carmilla, “I know all about you, Mircalla,” His voice is harder than I have ever heard it, “I know of your connection to a long list of young girls who mysteriously disappeared over decades and I know of your reputation.”

 

     The chair clatters loudly across the floor as the vampire flies to her feet. “I don't do that anymore,” She snarls, her eyes flashing silver, “And I won't stand here to be judged by a runaway hunter who only knows what has been written about me by other hunters.”

 

     He draws himself to his full height, which is almost a foot taller than Carmilla, before responding, “Just know, if my daughter becomes another broken heart and body left in your wake, I won't rest until I drive a stake through you. Same goes if I found out you have anything to do with the bodies piling up in the morgue.”

 

     Her eyebrows shoot up to her hairline, “Bodies?”

 

     “Dad, stop!” I stand in front of him, bracing my hands against his chest, “Carmilla has already defended herself once today, she shouldn't have to do it again. Call Lyla, talk to her and Betty.” I smirk over my shoulder, “And don't worry, I'm not falling for her 17th century idea of game that easily.”

 

     Carmilla rolls her eyes and huffs. With a steely glare at my dad, she walks out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

 

     I look back up when I hear a sigh. “I'm just trying to look out for you, Laura.”

 

     I smile warmly at him. “I know. But you need to trust that I know what I'm doing. You've raised me to be able to take care of myself, so let me, please.”

 

     He rubs my head, messing up my hair, “You're right, kiddo. I'll give it a try. Now go cheer up your broody girlfriend. I have a call to make.”

 

     I bounce up on my toes to kiss his cheek, “Thank you.” Then I run up to my room, hoping Carmilla is still in there.

 

 _‘And that’s my yellow pillow.’_ My girlfriend is lying on my bed, face buried in my pillow. I stare at her from the doorway. Her boots are on the floor by the bed. Her socks are black, like everything else she’s wearing. She looks so out of place in here. A dark spot in contrast with all the bright colors. Maybe that’s why Danny and Dad were so against this. We look like we should hate each other, and not just because of the werewolf/vampire thing. She’s all punk rock, black leather and I’m…well my shirt has over-stylized cats wearing bowties all over it. _‘But they don’t see how well we fit together.’_ They don’t see that soft smile reserved just for me. They don’t see how happy it makes me that she doesn't act like I need to be shielded from the world. She makes fun of me whenever she can. She gets frustrated with me and isn't afraid to let me know. She irritates me on purpose because she thinks I'm cute when I'm angry. _‘And I love every second of it.’_ They don't see how we melt into each other's touch. They don't see how at home we are in each other's arms. They don’t see _us_.

 

     I am curious about why both Danny and my dad mentioned Carmilla’s reputation though. Oh man, she totally used to seduce and kidnap girls. _‘How cliché.’_

 

     “All your thinking is interrupting my nap, cutie.”

 

     I move fully into the room and close the door behind me. “Did you use your vampire powers to steal my pillow?”

 

     She doesn't lift her head, so even standing next to the bed I barely her grumble, “You can't prove anything.”

 

     I giggle and run my fingers through her hair. “Why?”

 

     Her head turns just enough for one eye to be visible. “…It smells like you.” Then she nestles her face even deeper in the pillow.

 

     “Yeah? And what do I smell like?”

 

     “…Cupcakes…”

 

     I laugh softly and shake my head. Not even ten minutes ago I thought her and my dad were going to duke it out in the kitchen; now she's adorably cuddling my pillow because it smells like me. _‘This is actually too cute.’_ I pull my phone from my pocket and take a picture. Her head snaps up at the shutter sound. Normally Carmilla’s glares are intimidating, but with her hair sticking up in the front, I can't resist taking another.

 

     “What do you think you're doing, sweetheart?” She asks, slowly sitting up and leaning against the wall. I grin as she keeps my pillow hugged against her chest.

 

     “Aw, are you afraid I'll ruin your Vampire Seductress reputation?” I tease in reply.

 

     Her face falls and her hands start nervously playing with the corner of the pillowcase. “Is that really what you think I’m doing?”

 

     “What?”

 

     “Using my romantic wiles to take advantage of you?”

 

     “No! No, that was just a joke!” I sit down and take one of her hands in my own. “I mean, is it a little intimidating to find out that you have like, centuries of experience as this professional despoiler of virtue? Well…yah.” I stand up and start pacing in front of the bed, “Actually, I have some questions about that.”

 

     Carmilla groans, letting her head fall back to hit the wall. “Am I about to be subjected to your devastating interrogation technique again, Lauronica Mars?”

 

     I pause, glaring at her. She smirks and slowly lifts one perfect eyebrow. My face starts heating up and my heart starts thumping in my chest. I slam my eyes closed and spin around. “Stop that! I haven’t had a chance to properly process all of this and you being attractive on my bed isn’t helping. Gah! I feel like my head is going to explode. My whole life has been turned upside down and I’m supposed to just roll with it?” I’m pacing again, thoughts pouring uninhibited from my mouth. “And I apparently have a soulmate. I’m hoping it’s you. Man, I really want it to be you. But Danny thinks it’s her and she kissed me. Oh God! She kissed me. No wonder she was so mad earlier. This is awful. And I haven’t even turned into a werewolf yet. Then I’ll have to deal with that too. ‘All the power of the moon’, what does that even mean? Oof!” My rambling stops with my body when I run into something.

 

     The scent of spearmint and leather washes over me. Carmilla’s arms wrap around me and my hands clutch the lapels of her jacket. I rest my forehead on her collarbone. She plays with the ends of my hair. A sigh escapes my lips, taking all the tension in my muscles with it. I press a light kiss to the underside of her jaw and she smiles down at me. “Better now?” She asks quietly. I nod. “Good.” She tucks my hair behind my ears and then throws herself back onto my bed, bouncing a few times. “Process away, cupcake.”

 

     I shut my eyes for a second, then dart over to my desk. “Don’t laugh,” I say, digging through a drawer, “I’m going to treat this like an article.” I find an unused notebook and grab a pen. Dragging my desk chair across the room, I sit down facing Carmilla.

 

     “Whatever works for you, Miss Lane.”

 

     I ignore her, staring at the blank page in my lap. Everything I’ve learned recently is whirling around in my head and I need to organize it. I try, but all I can think about is the girl in front of me. “Why spearmint gum?”

 

     She breathes out a laugh. “You're killing me, Hollis. Of all the places to start.”

 

     “Just answer the question, Karnstein”

 

     She moves to hang her legs over the edge of the bed, so her knees are touching mine. “It gets rid of the taste blood and the scent helps block certain urges.”

 

     I’m writing down every word she says and don't realize she has leaned forward, putting her weight on her elbows. “Makes sense,” I say without looking up, “What urges?”

 

     Her fingers lift my chin. Her face is just inches from mine and I gasp when I see two fangs extending past her bottom lip. Unconsciously, I reach up to feel the sharp points with the pad of my index finger. Her body is unnaturally still until I withdraw my hand. “Most people’s first instinct is to run from a monster, not get closer.” She whispers.

 

     I press a soft kiss to her lips, carefully avoiding her fangs, “I will never run from you, Carm.”

 

     “Why? You know what I am.” She sounds so genuinely confused, it breaks my heart.

 

     "A monster wouldn’t look at the stars on a park bench with a girl wearing cupcake pajama pants. You’re not a monster. You’re my girlfriend and I- I care about you.”  I can barely stutter out that last part because Carmilla has that look again. The warm, heavy feeling in my chest returns as we look into each other's eyes.

 

     Is it too early to feel this much? _‘What_ am _I feeling?’_ Love is one of the first words that come to mind when I think about Carmilla, but do I actually love her? I've never been in love before. Is it a universal feeling? Or is it different for everyone? Today I found out I don't know as much about her as I thought. She's a centuries old vampire for Pete’s sake. But when I try to come up with reasons to back off a bit, to slow down and put some distance between us so I can figure this out; all I can think about is how gently she plays with my hair before I fall asleep, the way her face softens as she listens to me ramble about Doctor Who, and how sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is knowing I will see her. _‘That has to mean something, right?’_

 

     Her mouth opens and closes a few times before she exhales sharply through her nose. Then she falls back to lay flat on my bed, breaking the tension between us. “I know you have more questions than that, sweetheart.” She says, dropping an arm over her eyes.

 

 _‘The emotional whiplash is going to kill me one day.’_ Raking a hand through my hair, I settle back into the chair. “Right, yeah, questions,” I murmur, trying to collect my thoughts. “Why did my dad call you Mircalla? And what missing girls? Do you know anything about the murders? Wait, how are you getting blood? Oh, what other powers do you have besides the teleporting thing. And what's up with Scout? Is she even a real dog?” I ask, all in one breath.

 

     She peeks at me from behind her arm, chuckling, “Whoa, it's been a while since you almost made yourself pass out while talking. I forgot what it sounds like.”

 

     I lean forward and smack her stomach. “Hey! I've been getting better.” I say with a pout.

 

     “Oh no, don't do that.” She quickly, sitting up. She runs her hands through her hair, letting it fall messily back over her shoulders. My heart skips a beat and I can think is _‘Oh Time Lords I am such a lesbian.’_ Okay, let’s see. I was born Mircalla, daughter of the Count Karnstein. I've gone by many names since I turned, but Carmilla is my favorite, especially now.” A small smile pulls at her lips before they fall back into a frown. “Mother used to use me as a lure. She always needed girls for some sacrifice or another.” She raises her hand to stop the question about to leave my mouth, “Before you ask, I had no idea what she was up to. I would befriend the girls and then they would disappear. But I stopped as soon as I found out. Mother was not happy with me for a while after that.” She adds with a humorless laugh. “And I have nothing to do with the murders your dad is investigating. I have a supply of blood bags at my house, so I don't have to feed from anyone if that's what he thinks happened. Even if I did, I haven't killed anyone in years.”

 

     I nod while jotting notes down. I’m glad my new girlfriend has been murder free for a while. Carmilla's mother sounds like a raging…bad person. No wonder she ran away. I jerk back as dark curls block my vision.

 

     “What are you even writing? You thinking of publishing my biography?” Carmilla asks while leaning over my notebook.

 

     I shove her back by her shoulder and she grins at me. “It's easier for me to keep track of things when they're written down. And I have a feeling I'm going to need to know everything I can about your mother.” Her grin falters slightly. “Buuuuut never mind that, tell me about your powers.”

 

     Her grin returns and she winks at me. I'm about to tell her not to say anything inappropriate, but she disappears. My breath catches as cool lips start pressing kisses up my neck, stopping at my ear. “Well, cutie, since you've seen my speed and teleportation, how about...” She reaches over my shoulder and takes my notebook and pen from my hands. Then I'm suddenly lifted in the air. An undignified yelp bursts from me and I have a death grip on the seat of the chair. A glance down reveals Carmilla holding me above her head with only one hand gripping a chair leg. Her stupidly attractive smirk brings an unwarranted smile to my face.

 

     “Carmilla! Put me down!”

 

     “What? Is my vampire strength not impressing you, creampuff?” She teases, starting to spin us around in slow circles.

 

     I clamp my eyes shut and my grip on the chair tightens. “No– well yes, I just don't want to fall.”

 

     My heart stops as the chair starts to fall. _‘Oh my god, she dropped me!’_ I let go and my body instinctively stretches out. My eyes are still closed and I brace myself for a hard landing on the floor. Instead, a pair of slim arms catch me, one under my knees and one around my shoulders.

 

     "Would falling for me really be that bad?” She asks, a sultry tone in her voice. I barely hear her over the sound of my pulse pounding in my ears.

 

 _‘I think I already have.’_ But I can't say that. So I cover my face with my hands and mumble, “You're unbelievable.”

 

     With a quiet laugh, she gently places me on my back on my bed. I feel the mattress dip and when I lower my hands I see her lying next to me. She's propped up on her elbow, her head resting in her hand. I pull her other hand onto my stomach and start playing with her fingers. “What else?” I ask, looking up at her face. Her gaze, which had been on our hands, slides up my body to meet mine. The fluttering in my stomach evolves into gale-force winds. She has the most expressive eyes I have ever seen, and lately, the expression I see in them takes my breath away. Which is becoming a real problem, since I need that to live.

 

     “Heightened senses, pyrokinesis, self-healing, and I can turn into a black panther.” She says slowly, like the list is so long it's hard to remember.

 

     “Black as the pit, and terrible as a demon,” I murmur.

 

     “I always loved that. It's beautiful.” Carmilla pulls her hand from mine and reaches up to tuck my hair behind my ear. She draws her fingers along my jaw, then down my neck and dances then across my collarbones. “So beautiful,” She whispers before leaning down to kiss me.

 

     It’s slow and unhurried. And so unlike every other kiss before. There's no frantic lust. No need to say something with our bodies we can't say with words. It's not an outlet for any uncontrollable emotions. Neither of us move to deepen it. It's just a kiss, because we want to, because we can.

 

     “Mmmn, hold on. Answers now, smooching later.” I say, pulling back slightly.

 

     Carmilla groans and flops onto her back. “There's more?”

 

     I roll over and lay my head on her chest. At some point she must have taken off her jacket because my cheek meets the soft material of her t-shirt. “Oh stop whining. I asked about Scout.”

 

     “Scout? She's a normal Rottweiler. I rescued her as a puppy and trained her myself. She guards my house during the day while I sleep.”

 

     I raise myself up on an elbow. “So why was Danny so afraid of her? I'm assuming a werewolf can take a Rottweiler.”

 

     The vampire pulls me back down. I feel her scoff more than hear it. “Red wasn't afraid of Scout. She was afraid of being distracted and giving me an opening to attack her.” I hum in acknowledgement and snuggle into her side. “You should rest up, cupcake. You've got a big night ahead of you.” Her arms wrap around me. I didn't realize how tired I was because I'm asleep before I can even agree.

 

~/~

 

_“Laura!”_

_Suddenly, a dark shape bursts from out of nowhere and slams into my side. Its momentum sends us tumbling forward down the slope. Locked together, we roll until we reach the tree line._

_“That was a close one, cupcake.”_

_The wind knocked out of me, my eyes lock on a pair of familiar deep brown ones right before everything fades away._

 

     “Laura, wake up. It’s time to go.”

 

     I sit up slowly, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. My hand falls to find empty sheets next to me. I remember the dream and frantically look around my room. I’m about to jump out of bed when I see Carmilla sitting on the window sill. She looks over when she feels my eyes on her. The moonlight coming through the window highlights all the angles of her face, softening the sharp edges. I realize I’ve been staring for a while when I hear someone cough. My dad is standing next to my bed looking like he wants to be anywhere else.

 

     “Uh, Lyla wants us to meet her in the clearing. All of us,” He says, glancing at Carmilla, “I’m going to go start the car.” With that he walks out of the room.

 

     “You heard him, cutie. Time to go meet the Scooby Gang.” Her boots and jackets are on already.

 

     I go to stand, but my knees buckle under me. In a flash, she’s at my side. “Hey, hey,” She dips her head to meet my eye, “What’s wrong?”

 

     My hands are shaking; I rub my palms on my jeans in an attempt to calm down. “I’m scared, Carm. So far, everything has just been talk. I’ve been able to be objective because I haven’t been directly affected.” I rest my head on her shoulder. Tears threatening to spill sting behind my eyes. “But now, now I’m going to actually be a part of all this. As soon as I change, that’s it. I’ll be a werewolf, put up on a pedestal, and expected to end a war that’s been going on longer than anyone can remember. I won’t be Laura anymore. I’ll be the halfbreed from the Rose prophecy.

 

     Carmilla slides down to her knees in front of me. She takes my hands in hers, pressing a kiss to the back of each. “Cupcake, if I only cared about the prophecy, I would have left the park as soon as you told me your name. I would have waited until I knew your Gift. Instead, I was inexplicably drawn to an adorable, rambling girl in a Harry Potter hoodie.” She cradles my face in both hands. “No matter what happens tonight, you will still be my Laura. The girl who looked at the stars on a park bench with a brooding stranger.”

 

     I lurch forward, flinging my arms around her neck and burying my face in it. She holds me tight, rubbing reassuring circles on my back as I sob silently. I said before that my life has been turned upside down, but as long as Carmilla is with me, I will be able to adjust. We stand there until Dad starts honking the horn of his car. “I think that’s our cue to hurry up,” I say, giving her a quick peck on the lips. Then I pull on a pair of boots and head downstairs.

 

     Something speeds by me, causing my hair to whip around. Carmilla appears leaning against the front door. “Waiting on you, buttercup. Chop, chop.”

 

     “Unbelievable.” I mutter with a shake of my head. She laughs and I’m reminded of how much I love that sound. After grabbing my coat off the hook, she helps me put it on. I open the door and wave her out with a sweep of my hand, “After you, m’lady.”

 

     “Oh ho ho, thanks.” She coos as she brushes past me.

 

     As soon as we both climb into the back of the car and buckle our seatbelts, Dad reverses out of the driveway. He drives to the pool and parks in the lot. We all get out and start walking towards the trees. Right when I remember I don’t know where the clearing is, I see a familiar red head standing in the shadow of the woods. She comes out to meet us as we approach.

 

     “You must be one of Summer’s.” Dad says, extending his hand.

 

     Danny accepts the offered hand with a firm shake. “Yes sir. Danny Lawrence.”

 

     His eyes widen in surprise. “Oh boy. Well, I’m going to start heading that way.” He points into the trees and walks off.

 

     Danny turns to Carmilla and me. “Hey Laura. Elvira.”

 

     “Hey Danny.” I say with a wave. “Oh God, your shoes!”

 

     The soles of her Converse are smoking and the sudden smell of burning rubber makes me want to gag. I take a step toward her to help, but Carmilla cuts me off. “That’s for kissing my girlfriend.” She growls, taking my hand and leading me in the same direction Dad went. Looking over my shoulder, I see Danny hopping from foot to foot trying to get her shoes off.

 

     “Really?” I ask.

 

     She shrugs, “What? Vampires are possessive creatures.”

 

     I’m trying to look stern, but she just lit a girl’s shoes on fire out of jealousy. _‘Man do I want to kiss her.’_ I settle for kissing her cheek, “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

 

     “How many times do I have to tell you? You’re the cute one, cupcake.” Then she throws me over her shoulder and takes off at a run. I hang on to the back of her jacket, my uncontrollable giggles echoing off the trees.

 

     We catch up to Dad just before Danny catches up to us. He glances down at the werewolf’s now shoeless feet and then at the vampire carrying me, “Not even gonna ask.” He gestures ahead, “Lead the way, Lawrence.”

 

     With a glare at Carmilla, Danny turns slightly and walks off without looking back. Carmilla puts me down and I loop my arm around hers. After following Danny for a couple minutes, the trees start to thin out. When the clearing comes into view I freeze. My hands are shaking again and my breathing is labored.

 

     Dad waves the other two on before placing his hands on my shoulders. “Laura, breathe. It’s going to be okay. I’ll be with you the whole time. Just breathe.”

 

     I close my eyes and take deep breaths. _‘It’s okay. Dad won’t let anything happen. And Carmilla says she will stay no matter what.’_ I pull him into a hug. My ear is pressed to his chest and the sound of his heartbeat calms me more than his words. When we head toward the clearing I see Carmilla leaning against a tree. Her arms are crossed over her chest and her ankles are crossed, her weight on one leg. The body language says disinterested, but I know her well enough to see through that. As soon as I walk up she unhitches from the tree and takes my hand. I give it a quick squeeze to let her know I’m alright. I get a small smile in return. Unfortunately, her scowl returns when the werewolves come into view.

 

     Lyla and her pack are standing in almost the exact same spot as last night. The full moon is directly above us, shining like a spotlight. “You must be Carmilla.” The older woman says when we come to stop before them.

 

     Carmilla stiffens for a moment, then sneers, “Must I be?”

 

     Danny immediately steps up, bristling. “Show some respect, Karnstein. She’s an alpha.”

 

     Lyla places her hand on the red head’s shoulder. “Its fine, Danny. She doesn’t have to acknowledge our hierarchy. I haven’t done anything to earn her respect yet anyway.” She turns to Carmilla and extends her now free hand, “Lyla Summer. The Alphas have decided that I will be supervising you, since I pushed so hard for them to trust you.”

 

     The vampire glares at the offered hand. “Supervising me?” I nudge her ribs. “I mean; why would you do that?”

 

     “After witnessing your encounter with my pack earlier today, it’s quite obvious you are in love with Laura and are no longer loyal to Morgan.” A knowing smile spreads across the alpha’s face.

 

     “Oh- No one said anything about-” “Love? Did she just say-”

 

     Carmilla and I start sputtering at the same time. I’m waving my hands around and she shoves hers in her pockets. Everyone is holding back grins, except Madison. She’s flat out giggling and actually has to walk away.

 

     “Alright then! We’re burning moonlight, let’s get this thing started.” Dad claps his hands together loudly, drawing the attention to him.

 

 _‘Here we go.’_ I clear my throat. “So how does this work? Do you have to bite me or something?” I ask Lyla. That’s how it works in the myths. _‘And pop culture.’_

 

      “No, no, nothing like that.” She says with a laugh. “The werewolf inside of you simply has to be awakened, which an alpha can do easily. It would happen naturally, but the process is long and uncomfortable.”

     Lyla comes up and grabs the back of my neck. I see Carmilla try to lunge forward, but Dad holds her back. He says something in her ear that makes her snarl, though she doesn’t fight him. My head is turned back to the woman in front of me. My heart rate kicks up. Her blue eyes turn red. Now my breath is coming in short gasps. Lyla starts to growl, the volume slowly increasing. I can feel the vibration through my whole body. As it gets louder it feel like someone is jackhammering my bones. Her mouth suddenly opens with a ground-shaking roar.

 

     There’s a flash of gold.

 

     An unimaginable heat.

 

     Then I pass out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait. Writer's block is a bitch. So is ADD. And my job.
> 
> As always, thank you all for the comments and kudos!


	6. Best Present Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I spent a lot of time writing a third part of this chapter, but decided to put it in the next one. Now, I feel bad for making you wait so long for a shorter chapter than I originally intended.  
> Sorry :(

** 6 **

** Best Present Ever **

 

 

            _“One day you’ll understand.”_

_“Do you think I’m ever gonna understand why you fed the only girl I had ever loved to an abomination?”_

_“I think that you’re a practical girl and you’ll see that everything I do I do for the best. That silly little creature couldn’t have loved you. The second she knew what you were, she spilled your secrets like an idiot schoolchild. She was a cockroach. A wretched crawling thing like this one. And you, my glittering girl, are a diamond. Stone cannot love flesh.”_

_I can’t listen any longer. The chains fall as my body passes through them. I reach out and rip the sword out of the beast’s burning body from across the room, catching it in my hand. A feral roar echoes off the stone walls, followed by multiple sickening cracks. I turn to see Carmilla shifting back into human form. Her mother lays on the ground below her, chest and throat torn open._

* * *

 

     “You said it would be safe!”

 

     “It is! It should have been. I don’t know what’s happening.”

     I recognize the voices of my dad and Lyla. _‘Why are they yelling in my ear?’_ My head is pounding and my whole body is burning. It feels like I just came in the house after being out in the cold for too long. _‘What the hell happened?’_ I go to sit up, but fall back with a groan. Now I’m nauseous. At least whatever I’m lying on is pretty comfy.

 

     “Smooth, sundance, smooth. How ‘bout trying something easier, like opening your eyes.”

 

     So I do. _‘Oh, boobs.’_ That’s the first thing I see, then Carmilla’s face, but my gaze goes back to the curve of her breasts. From the angle, I realize my head is in her lap.

 

     “Enjoying the view, cutie?” Her wink lets me know how unsubtle my ogling is.

 

     I smirk, “It’s not awful.”

 

     She leans down, a mischievous glint in her eye, and is about to say something when someone gasps above us. Lyla’s pack is bunched together, staring at me.

 

     “Holy shit,” Elsie says in a hushed voice, “It’s really her.”

 

     Mel nods in agreement. “I had my doubts, I mean look at her, but yeah.”

 

     “Honestly, they’re kinda freaking me out.” This earns Madison a glare from the other girls, but she just shrugs.

 

     Carmilla helps me sit up this time when I start to struggle. She moves to sit next to me, keeping her arm around my shoulders. Her hand rubs comfortingly up and down my bicep. My head spins from the movement, but I glance around the clearing. Dad and Lyla are arguing almost twenty yards away. _‘So nowhere near my ears, weird.’_ Then what Madison said registers. “Wait, what are freaking you out?” I ask, looking up at her.

 

     Fear flashes briefly across her face before she answers sheepishly, “Well, um, your eyes. They’re gold.”

 

     “I’m a werewolf now. Aren’t they supposed to be?” The way no one is looking directly at me is making me nervous.

 

     “Our eyes are yellow, like traffic lights. Yours are a darker color, but they are shining just as brightly. This is just bizarre.” Betty has squat down in front of me and is staring intently while explaining.

 

     “They’re gold now? Will they go back to normal?” I ask quickly. My eyes changing color overnight will be hard to explain.

 

     “It’ll wear off in a few hours, don’t worry. You’ll learn how to change them at will later.” She reassures me, leaning closer. A quiet growl comes from my girlfriend and Betty jumps back.

 

     “Can you call off your guard dog, Hollis? She hasn’t let anyone near you since you collapsed.” The irritation is obvious in Danny’s voice as she approaches, Dad and Lyla trailing behind her.

 

     I turn to Carmilla and she gives me an apologetic look. Leaning forward, I whisper, “I’m fine, Carm,” against her lips before pressing a kiss to them. She hums into me and the arm around my shoulders pulls me closer to her, deepening the kiss. I’m getting lost in the way she tastes and feels when I remember where we are. “Mmm…uhh! Whoa there, lady killer. We kinda have an audience.”

 

     I pull back and sit up straight, blushing hard. She rests her head on my shoulder, grumbling into my neck, “I doubt they would mind a show.”

 

     “I mind, I definitely mind. Keep your hands to yourself while I’m around, Karnstein.” Dad says while kneeling next to me.

 

     “She kissed me first.” The vampire mumbles in response. I can’t help but smile, she looks like a scolded child.

 

     He just gives her a stern look before turning to me. “Hey, kiddo. How do you feel?”

 

     I pinch the bridge of my nose. “My ears are ringing, I have a killer headache, and my…bones hurt? The last part comes out as a question because I don’t think I should be able to feel my bones.

 

     Dad nods along, “Anything else?” I shake my head and he looks at Lyla, “Why did she pass out?”

 

     The alpha sighs. “I’m not sure. The headache is from sensory overload and the other pain is from the physical transformation. It shouldn’t have been severe enough to knock her out, though.”

 

     “Her Gift: All the power of the moon.”

 

     We all turn to the vampire wrapped around me. “What about it?” I ask.

 

     “You’re supposed to be crazy powerful, creampuff.” She shrugs, “That much power being transferred into your tiny little body must have made you lose consciousness.”

 

     I dig my elbow into her ribs. “I’m not that tiny.” I say indignantly. Completely unaffected by my assault, she just presses her forehead to my temple and smiles. My heart warms at the action and I resist the urge to kiss her. Its these little moments of affection that I love the most. _‘And she’s beautiful when she actually smiles.’_

 

     “Huh. That makes sense actually.” Lyla says thoughtfully. “Nothing about this situation is normal, so I shouldn’t expect normal reactions.”

 

     Dad stands and offers me a hand up as well. I’m a little shaky on my feet, but otherwise fine. Carmilla gets up smoothly and arches her back with a content sigh. My eyes trail up her legs, over the exposed skin of her stomach, and down the curls framing her face. My heartbeat skyrockets.

 

     She moves to stand behind me, brushing my hair over one shoulder. I can feel her smirk against my neck as she whispers, “I can hear your heart.” Her arms slide around so she’s hugging my waist.

 

     A blush blooms across my cheeks. _‘This girl will be the death of me.’_ I turn to Lyla, who is talking quietly with my dad. “What happens now that I’m officially a werewolf?”

 

     Danny is the one who answers, a smug grin on her face, “Now, we go to Austria and you get to train in the Moon Keep.”

 

     My jaw drops. I forgot about that. “I just up and move to a different continent?” I ask, shocked.

 

     “You’ll love it there.” She assures me. The rest of her pack is nodding encouragingly behind her. “And the Baron will be thrilled to finally be able to take the fight to the vampires.”

 

     Carmilla’s arms drop to her sides and she steps between me and Danny. “Vordenberg? There’s no way in hell I’m letting you take her anywhere near him.” She practically spits the words at the red head.

 

      The taller girl chuckles darkly, “Oh yeah, you know his family, don’t you? Well, knew them.”  Her grin grows, “Are you afraid of him telling Laura the truth? That finding out you brutally murdered his great-great-grandfather’s whole family will send her running for the hills?”

 

     “I didn’t- The Vordenbergs made me into-” Carmilla starts to angrily reply, then lets out an exasperated sigh, “No. I’m done trying to explain myself to you overgrown mutts. It’s not like you will ever take my word over a hunter’s.” She takes a moment to breathe before turning to my dad and Lyla. “You can’t go to Austria because I’m the only one who can help Laura with her Gift.”

 

     “You really think we are going to believe a vampire knows anything about-”

 

     “Danny, stand down!” Lyla calls out. “That’s enough.” The alpha then addresses Carmilla, “You did more than just confront Rose when you infiltrated the Keep, didn’t you?”

 

     The vampire nods. “Mother ordered me to destroy records referring to ‘all the power of the moon’ in anyway. I found a couple historical texts and a section of the Gift record that did, but kept them for myself. I spent years memorizing every word before destroying them.”

 

     “Why go through all that effort?” Dad asks curiously.

 

     “At the time I believed I would be meeting my soulmate in the near future and would need that information. Little did I know, it would be a couple centuries before that happened.” She answers solemnly. “Luckily, I have an excellent memory.”

 

     Lyla looks excited now. “Would you be able to write it all down again?”

 

     “No.” Carmilla raises her hand to hold off the older woman’s protests, “For two reasons. One: I need a reason for you all to need me alive and cooperative. And two: I’ll leave it up to Laura to tell you. Some things are more effective if no one else knows about them.”

 

     “Hold up,” Danny interjects. “How do we know she’s telling the truth? We have just been accepting everything she’s told us based on nothing but supposed feelings and her word.”

 

     Carmilla rolls her eyes and I can tell she is biting back a scathing retort. She pinches the bridge of her nose and calmly asks, “Volume II of _The Origins_ , Part One of _The Theory Behind Gifts_ , and several pages of the record are missing from the archives, correct?” Danny nods her head in confirmation. “And they have been missing for around, say, three hundred years? And haven’t been seen since Rose’s death?” Danny nods again, her expression darkening. “How would I know that without being the one who took them?” After a few moments of silence, Carmilla waves her hand dismissively, “Exactly.”

 

     “Why don’t we let Laura decide, since it’s her life.” Betty states, giving the arguing girls pointed looks.

 

     At this, everyone’s attention shifts to me. I’ve been so absorbed in the conversation, I forgot it was about _me_. They all want to know what I'm thinking, what I want to do. Lyla and her pack want me to go to Austria, Dad will want me to do whatever will make me happy and keep me safe, and it's clear Carmilla wants me to stay here. It makes sense for me to train at the Moon Keep. I would learn not just how to control my new abilities, but also everything there is to know about werewolves as a species, in the archives. But if what Carmilla says is true, she is the only one who can tell me about my Gift, which is pretty important. _‘And she really doesn't like that Vordenberg guy.’_ So the deciding factor is whether or not I trust Carmilla.

 

     I decided earlier, after confronting my dad, that I don't care what Carmilla did in the past. 335 years is a long time to live and it's unreasonable to expect that she was a good person the whole time. Especially considering who her sire is and what she has been forced to do. Do I wish my girlfriend was morally upstanding, and not infamous for being a ravager of virtue and a betrayer? Well, yes. But it's not fair for me to judge her for that, not when I don't know the whole story, not when I can't possibly imagine what her life was like. So, all I can do is go off of what I have seen. What I have seen is a girl done with living in someone else's shadow, a girl attempting to atone for her past by doing the right thing, a girl who wants to finally find the happiness she's been denied. Most importantly, I see a girl who cares about me. And really, what more can I ask for? _‘There's my answer. I trust my girlfriend.’_

 

     Dad places his hand on my shoulder, “It's up to you, kiddo. Go to the Keep with the pack or stay here with Carmilla.”

 

      It's so simple when he puts it like that. In Mom’s vision, I am holding the vampire’s hand. Whatever is going to happen, we’re taking it on together.

 

     Carmilla still has her back to me. Her head is bowed and her shoulders are tense. I take a step towards her when I answer, “I’m not leaving. Everything I need is right here.”

 

     She spins around and we’re practically nose-to-nose. Her eyes flick back and forth, searching mine for something. She raises a hand to cradle my face, her thumb stroking my cheek. “You’re serious?” She asks softly.

 

     I nod and lean into her touch before whispering back, “Dixie Chicks serious.”

 

     She laughs, resting her forehead against mine. Her other hand goes to my lower back and is pulling me closer when I hear someone cough “Hands!” Carmilla rolls her eyes, but settles for kissing my cheek. 

 

     Lyla chuckles and turns to Dad, who is still pretending to cough into his fist. “I told you, Rick. It was even more obvious at the park earlier today. They look at each other the same way you and Charlotte used to.”

 

     He nods his head slowly, “I see. Guess we’re staying put then.”

 

     “How do you know what we looked like at the park?” I ask the older woman.

 

     “I was watching from the tree as a bird.” She replies casually. My eyes widen in surprise. “I wasn't going to let my pack confront _the_ Carmilla Karnstein on their own.”

 

     I turn to the dark-haired girl next to me. She smirks and raises one shoulder in a lopsided shrug, “I’m kinda a badass.”

 

     “I don’t know about that, but you are known for being particularly hard to kill.” The alpha argues.

 

     “Same thing.”

 

     I clap my hands together, flinching slightly at the volume, cutting off any further discussion. “Well, I’ve had a long day and would love to get some sleep. So, unless there’s anything else you need from me, I’d like to go home.”

 

     “Of course, of course.” Lyla laughs, “You should rest, the change will make you tired and sore for a few days. I'll have to talk to the Alphas before we continue. Although, there’s not much they can do if the two of you refuse. Danny will contact you when they make their decision.” She meets my eye as she continues seriously, “Your mother would be so proud of the woman you've become. She would be even more proud of how you are handling all of this.”

 

     I can feel myself tearing up, so I really need to go home now. The last thing I want to do is cry over my mom again. I simply nod my head in response, and luckily she understands. She says good night to my dad and Carmilla. With a wave of her hand, she signals her pack to follow her deeper into the forest.

 

     Dad walks over and wraps his arm around my shoulders, “C’mon. You look like you could use a nap.” Then he walks off in the opposite direction of the werewolves, leaving me with my girlfriend.

 

     “How are you doing?” She asks softly.

 

     I squeeze her hand and smile, “I’m okay, just really tired.”

 

     She tilts her head skeptically, but accepts the answer anyway. I follow Dad into the trees, pulling her behind me. She grumbles something about me being cute and it makes me smile wider. I look over my shoulder to see her grinning at my back, her eyes soft with affection. When we reach the car, she opens the door for me. I curl up against her side once she's settled in. The sound of the engine roaring to life startles me and I practically jump into her lap.

 

     “Oh man, you're going to be even jumpier than usual, sweetheart, until you get used to your new senses.” She says teasingly.

 

     I frown at her, “Why do you sound happy about that?”

 

     She leans down so her lips are brushing the shell of my ear, “Who wouldn't be excited to have a gorgeous girl in their lap every time there's a loud noise?”

 

     Her voice is so low and raspy it should be illegal. Seriously, it's like a lesbian WMD. I look down at our bodies to see what she means. So, by practically jump into her lap, I meant literally jump into her lap. Somehow I ended up sitting across her thighs. My hands are gripping the lapels of her jacket, holding us against each other. She has one hand just above my knee and the other is dangerously close to my butt, considering my dad is not even two feet away driving the car. I shake my head with a breathy laugh before squirming back into my own seat. She pouts and crosses her arms.

 

     “Aww, are you upse- Whoa.” I’m distracted from my teasing by what I see out the window behind Carmilla. I turn and press my face to the one on my side. “Holy crap! Is this how you see all the time? This is crazy.” I ask my girlfriend without looking away from the houses going by. I don’t know how I didn’t notice before. Everything is in ultra-high definition, even in the dark. I look out the windshield and I can see the number on houses a hundred yards down the street. I hear Dad laughing to himself, but ignore him to turn back to Carmilla.

 

     “It is,” She chuckles, smiling at my enthusiasm, “The wonders of heightened senses. I think mine are a little better, though.”

 

     I rest my head on her shoulder, eyes still trained out the window. “Oh shush. Will you tell me about my Gift tomorrow?” My question is quickly followed by a yawn. She says something in reply, but all the exhaustion from the day hits me at once and I fall asleep before she finishes.

 

-/-/-

 

     The scent of leather fills my nose as I wake up. “Carm?” I ask groggily, rubbing at my eyes. Carmilla’s jacket is balled up next to me on the bed. _‘Why did she leave it here?’_

 

     “No super model girlfriend here, sorry to disappoint.” I can hear drawers being opened and closed. “Hey, did you move your cookie stash?”

 

     That really wakes me. I shoot up to see LaFontaine digging around my desk. _‘My notes!’_ In my rush to get up, I tangle the blanks around my legs and end up on the floor. _‘Why am I still in my clothes from yesterday?’_ By the time I stand and get over to them, the notebook is already in their hand. “Laf, wait!”

 

     They spin away from my reaching hand and skim over the paper. Their eyebrows raise higher as they read more. “What is this, Laur? Gum, Counts, kidnappings, sacrifices?”

 

     I gape at them, trying to think of something to say, “It’s not what you think. I'm, uh, writing Buffy fan fiction.” I mentally face palm. _‘Fan fiction? Seriously?’_

 

     They raise a skeptic eyebrow. “You’re using Carmilla’s name in a fic?”

 

     “I couldn’t think of anything else.” I say weakly.

 

     “So Carmilla isn't a vampire?”

 

     "No! Of course not.”

 

     “But she is your girlfriend?”

 

     “Yes.” I snatch my notes from them and then freeze. Their shit-eating grin lets me know I walked right into that. “Wait, no, I mean…Ugh, how did you know?” I sigh and run my hand through my hair.

 

     "I didn't, but thanks for the update.” They pat my shoulder and go back to searching through my stuff.

 

     “Uh Laf, not to make you feel unwelcome, but why are you in my room?” I ask, finally fully awake.

 

     “Perry wanted to come over early and help your dad get ready, so I had to come too.” They explain with a shrug, “Then I got hungry and wanted a snack. I know you hide the good stuff up here, so where is it?”

 

     “Get ready for what?”

 

     They look at me closely, “For your birthday party. Are you feeling okay, L?”

 

     “Holy Hufflepuff! I completely forgot! What time is it?” I dart to my closet and start looking for something to wear.

 

     I can hear LaFontaine laughing across the room. “That must have been quite the Netflix marathon last night if you're this out of it. It's almost one, Danny and Kirsch will be here in an hour.”

 

 _‘How did I sleep so late?’_ Grabbing my clothes, I run past them heading for the bathroom down the hall. “Oh, I'm out of cookies. Carm ate them all.” I say over my shoulder. Their groan brings a smile to my face.

 

     I walk into the kitchen a little while later, after the shortest shower of my life, dressed in a grey camisole, beige cardigan, and jeans. As soon as I hit the linoleum, my sock-clad feet slide out from under me and I barely manage to stay upright by grabbing the counter.

 

     “She's beauty, she's grace…” Dad sings from the other side of the island.

 

     I stick my tongue out at him. Perry comes out of the pantry at the same time and huffs, “Really, Laura? You're eighteen now.” She puts the bags of chips she was carrying on the island and pulls a few bowls from the cabinet underneath.

 

     “Thank you, Perry. Do you see what I have to deal with?” Dad says sarcastically. When she turns her back, he sticks his tongue out at me.

 

     I roll my eyes. _‘And people wonder where I get it from.’_ He walks over and gives me hug. “Thanks for getting me to bed last night. I can't believe I fell asleep in the car.” I say quietly.

 

     He keeps me in his arms while answering, “Actually, Carmilla carried you up. I would have, but you had a death grip on her jacket. She didn't seem to mind though. It was sweet.”

 

     “She really is. Just don't let her hear you say that.” I chuckle.

 

     He smiles, then frowns slightly. With his arm around my shoulder, he leads me out of the kitchen and into the foyer. “Laura, I’m sorry. My behavior yesterday was uncalled for.” He sighs.

 

     “Dad, you don't-”

 

     “Yes, I do.” He crosses and uncrosses his arms, like he can't figure out what to do with them. “I've been hiding from my past, and hiding you from your future, for so long, that I panicked when I saw you with Carmilla. All I could think about was your mom and I saw red. But even after we talked, I didn't think I would ever be able to trust her.”

 

     He was staring at the wall behind me, but I move to catch his eye, “But now?”

 

     He shakes his head, “I’ll get there. When the rest of us froze when you passed out after Lyla started the change, Carmilla caught you before you hit the ground. Then she held you until you woke up. The way she looked at you when she carried you from the car…” The corners of his mouth twitch upwards. “That girl is so far beyond smitten, and I don’t think she even realizes it. So as long as she continues to care about you, I’ll get there.”

 

     “Dad, I…” Don’t know what to say. I’m glad he is going to try to see that Carmilla isn’t the same vampire he read about, she’s changed. “Thank you.”

 

**_BOOM!_ **

****

     “LaFontaine!”

 

     “Science!”

 

     Dad’s head drops back as he groans, “That’s what I get for leaving them unsupervised.” The smoke detector goes off as the stench of burned popcorn reaches us. “Love you, kiddo.” He says, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. Then he takes deep breath and returns to the kitchen.

 

     I pull my phone out of my pocket. Waiting for the smell to dissipate before going back in there seems like a good idea.

 

**[Cupcake]: _If you ever want to see your precious leather jacket again, come to my house at 2:00._**

****

**[Carm <3]: _Are you holding my jacket hostage, cupcake?_**

****

**[Cupcake]: _Yup. This was my plan all along :)_**

****

**[Cupcake]: _You have 10 minutes, better hurry._**

****

**[Carm <3]: _Devious. I didn’t know you were capable of that._**

****

**[Carm <3]: _I might be a little late. It takes time to look this effortlessly good, you know._**

****

**[Cupcake]: _2:00 or the jacket gets it, Karnstein._**

****

**[Carm <3]: _I love when you’re demanding, cutie. Gets me all hot and bothered ;)_**

****

**[Cupcake]: _You are unbelievable._**

****

**[Carm <3]: _Says my girlfriend who is secretly a criminal mastermind._**

****

**[Carm <3]: _Now I need to go find my nicest ripped jeans._ _See you soon._**

****

     It takes a few minutes for me to get my breathing under control. _‘Girlfriend.’_ I don’t think that word will ever fail to make my heart race. Neither will her flirting.

 

     I jump at the sound of a door slamming outside. My hand presses against my chest. _‘Stupid werewolf hearing.’_ A second slam makes me jump again. I swear I’m going to have a heart attack before I get used to this.

 

     “Hey there, D-Bear!”

 

     “Kirsch, I’m not going to tell you again.”

 

     “Sorry, sorry. Hey, Danny.”

 

     I hear Danny sigh as they both walk up the steps. The knock on the door isn’t as startling since I was expecting it. When I open the door I'm immediately wrapped up in a bone-crushing hug and carried into the house.

 

     “Happy birthday, little nerd hottie!” Kirsch yells as we enter the kitchen.

 

     “Thanks, Kirsch,” I laugh, “You can put me down now.”

 

     He drops me and holds out a large gift bag, a goofy grin lighting up his face. “You're gonna love what I got you, bro.”

 

     “Not as much as what I got her.” Danny says as she walks in. “Happy birthday, Laura. Where should I put this?” She’s carrying a small, neatly wrapped box.

 

     “Um, not sure, Perry?” I look to the curly-haired girl who is wiping black gunk out of the microwave.

 

     She tosses the dirty paper towels and the rubber gloves she was wearing into the trashcan. Then walks over to us with a bright smile. “Right on time you two. I’ll take your gifts into the family room. There’s snacks on the island and the drinks are in the fridge.”

 

     Danny thanks Perry before turning to me and bunching up her nose, “Did someone burn popcorn?”

 

     “Someone blew up popcorn and it was awesome.” Laf says as they come through the back door, “I don’t even know how.”

 

     Dad follows them in. “We put all the burned bags on the deck, so they wouldn’t stink up the house.” He looks around and notices the new arrivals. “Hey guys. Kirsch, try to save some Cheetos for everyone else.”

 

     “You got it, Mr. H.” Kirsch says with a mock salute, his fingers coated in orange cheese.

 

     I giggle as Dad just shakes his head. I grab a bowl of chips and a grape soda before heading into the family room. “C’mon, we can get started now that you’re here.”

 

     “Start what?” Danny asks, following me with a bottle of water.

 

     I gesture to the TV, which is displaying the title screen for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, “Harry Potter marathon!”

 

     Perry closes the DVD case and sits on the couch with the remote. “It’s Laura’s birthday tradition.” She explains.

 

     “So is starting with the third one, it's her favorite.” Laf says. They hand Perry a water before taking the seat next to her.

 

     I plop down on the loveseat, taking up the whole thing. Danny had been about to sit next to me and she cocks her head in a silent question. “I'm, uh, saving someone a seat.” I say lamely.

 

     She frowns as she realizes who I'm talking about. With a defeated sigh, she sits on the floor, her back leaning against the couch. Dad and Kirsch are still in the kitchen ordering pizza when there's a knock at the door.

 

     “I got it!”

 

     Kirsch comes in a minute later. “Hey, little nerd hottie, there's an angry hottie at the door for you.” On my way out, I hear him ask LaFontaine, “Where's your spleen? And is it possible to have it fed to you?”

 

     The front door is open, so whoever it is must not have come in. There's only one person he could be referring to though; and as usual, she takes my breath away when I see her. Carmilla is leaning against the doorframe, inspecting her fingernails. She's wearing her usual black boots and skinny jeans, but surprisingly, the jeans don't have any rips. My eyes nearly bug out of my head when she turns and I see the black crop top she has on under a red and black plaid flannel. _‘What is it about rolled up sleeves that looks so hot?’_ Her hair is perfectly messy and her curls are more like waves today. As I get closer I notice the only makeup on her face is slightly smudged eyeliner, very à la Sarah Manning. Basically, she's so attractive it hurts.

 

     “You're late.”

 

     She steps back onto the porch and holds her arms out, showing herself off. “But it's worth it, right?” She winks before shoving her hands in her pockets.

 

     I roll my eyes and follow her out, pulling the door shut behind me. Her smirk softens as she eyes me up and down. “Like what you see, cutie?” I ask in my best imitation of her voice.

 

     She bites her lip, contemplating, before moving forward and pinning me against the door. “Always.” She kisses my cheek, up my jaw, and behind my ear. I gasp when she takes my earlobe between her teeth, sucking on it lightly. Her cold fingers slip under my cami and skim across my stomach; leaving goosebumps and sending a shiver up my spine. My skin feels like it’s on fire everywhere she touches. She lowers her head to nip at my pulse point and that's when I lose it.

 

     With a needy growl, I flip us around and crash my lips against hers. Her head knocks into the door, but we both ignore it. _‘Hope nobody heard that.’_ My hands are on her hips, thumbs rubbing circles on the bones exposed by her low riding pants. _‘She feels like she's freezing.’_ I briefly think to ask about that, but I'm quickly distracted. The feeling of her tongue in my mouth is completely intoxicating; so much so that I forget to breathe until my lungs are screaming for air. I drop my head to her shoulder and take a few shuddering breaths. Carmilla tangles a hand in my hair. The other she presses against my lower back, holding me closer. I press a couple kisses to her neck and hear her inhale sharply. “Laura…” Her tone is somewhere between a plea and a warning. I’m guessing the former by the way she pulls me back up to kiss her. She purrs and I can feel the vibrations in my chest, but I need more. This sudden desire to have her come apart in my hands washes over me. I break away from her lips and take a moment to look at my girlfriend. Eyes closed, lips swollen and parted, chest rising and falling rapidly – I have never wanted her more than I do right now. I scape my teeth down her neck and I feel her whole body stiffen. Then I bite down on the muscle where her neck and shoulder meet. The hand in my hair tightens painfully as she shudders.

 

     With a gasp, she pushes me away, “Shit, cupcake. Too much, too much. I'm gonna break all kinds of indecency laws if you keep that up.”

 

     “Is your neck really that sensitive?” I ask, still panting a little. Making her nearly lose control is giving me a rush like I've never felt before. My hands itch to touch her again.

 

     “It's a vampire dominance thing, and ridiculously hot when you do it. Damn it.” When she opens her eyes, her pupils are blown out and rimmed with silver. “If I had a heart it would be racing right now. I just need a minute to calm down.”

 

     My eyes widen in shock, “You don't have a heart?”

 

     “Heartbeat! I meant heartbeat.” She says quickly.

 

     “Okay,” I drawl skeptically, then brighten up, “Actually, I have some questions about that.”

 

     Carmilla steps up and holds my head between her hands. Then she tilts it from side to side, looking into my eyes and ears. “Huh. Looks normal.”

 

     I swat her hands away, “Umm what?”

 

     “I was just wondering if you were a robot, or the Energizer Bunny, or something.” She says with a smirk. “That brain of yours just never slows down, creampuff.”

 

     “Oh my god,” I groan, “You are such a dork.” She smiles and it makes my knees weak. “Hey, no distracting me by being hot. I want to know,” I press her back against the door, hovering my lips above hers, “What makes you tick.” With each word, I tap her sternum, just above the cleavage exposed by her V-neck. _‘Whoa, where did that come from?’_

     Her pupils dilate slightly as she glances at my lips. “We should, uh, get inside,” She says slowly, “Before the dimwit squad starts to think I kidnapped you.”

 

     “Maybe I don’t feel like sharing you right now.” I murmur. _‘Okay, so I guess becoming a werewolf made me capable of being alluring.’_ She gapes at me. Now that’s an ego boost: leaving the vampire seductress speechless.

 

     After a moment she shakes her head roughly. “Don’t tempt me.”

 

     I lean forward and her eyes flutter closed. I laugh at the look on her face when I open the door behind her and she stumbles backward into the house.

 

     “That was low, cutie.”

 

     My laughter dies to a giggle as I take her hand. I give her a kiss on the cheek as an apology. We walk through the foyer and kitchen, but my steps slow as we approach the family room. I hadn’t really thought about it before, but Carm isn’t exactly a people person. She proved that multiple times yesterday. I’m suddenly worried about how she’s going to be around my friends. She literally just called them the dimwit squad. I know her and Danny are a lost cause, but I want the others to like her. I’m about to stop her and say something, but we’ve already been seen.

 

     “Ayyy! Look who decided to come up for air. We were about to send out a rescue party.” I glare at Laf; to which they just wink.

 

     “Everyone, this is Carmilla, my," I hesitate, unsure if I should tell them all. Carmilla squeezes my hand and i take it as a sign of support, "My girlfriend.” There’s a collective gasp and Perry starts to say something, but I cut her off. “Carm, this is-”

 

     “Betty Crocker, _they’re_ the mad scientist, I met beefcake earlier, and oh look, Agent Orange is here too, yay.”

 

      LaFontaine is grinning at the pronoun and Perry seems unsure on how she feels about the nickname. Kirsch gives a thumbs up from Dad’s recliner.

 

     Danny tilts her head in greeting, “Morticia.”

 

_‘I guess I had nothing to worry about.’_

     Dad pokes his head in, “Pizza will be here in twenty minutes and I left the money on the table. If you need me, I’ll be upstairs.” After receiving a chorus of thanks, he heads to his room. 

 

     Perry is nervously fiddling with the hem of her turtleneck. “Betty Crocker is a good thing, right?”

 

     “I've had your brownies, Curly Sue. It's a good thing.” Carmilla assures her with a smirk.

 

     Perry sits up straighter on the couch and clasps her hands in her lap. The content smile on her face warms my heart. _‘Aaaaand just when I thought I couldn’t fall any harder.’_

 

     “I approve, little L.” Laf says, their grin getting impossibly wider. They turn to Perry and she nods in agreement.

     “Me too!” Kirsch pipes up, “She's a hottie just like you.”

 

     “C’mon people, really? She’s right there.” I look around, my face flushed with embarrassment.

 

     The vampire, who has now stretched out on the loveseat, chuckles. “Don’t worry about me, cupcake. I agree with the puppy.”

 

     With a huff, I lay down next to her. She slips one arm under my shoulders and drapes the other over my side to rest on my stomach. “Just start the movie.” My mood immediately improves when Hedwig’s Theme starts to play. A few minutes later, when Aunt Marge is floating away, Carmilla starts pressing light kisses on my neck. A shiver makes its way through my body. “Carm, quit it,” I whisper, turning my head to face her, “You’re so cold.”

 

     Her response is to give me a peck on the lips and pull me even closer. “That's why I have a nice, warm girlfriend, cutie.”

 

     I smile and lace my fingers with hers on my stomach. She shifts a little so she can tuck my head under her chin. All of my muscles relax in her embrace. It’s been like this from the first night we met. Some part of me just felt comfortable with her from the start. I won’t say there was a “spark” or “connection” because that sounds way too cliché. There was just this feeling of familiarity, a sense of safety. It’s hard to believe we haven’t even known each other for three weeks. At this point, I can’t even imagine a night without her coming to my window. _‘Oh Time Lords, when did my life become the plot of a horrible young adult novel?’_ Speaking of vampires, I also can't believe I never noticed all of the signs. Like no body heat and lack of heartbeat.

 

     My thoughts are interrupted by someone knocking on the front door. Both Danny and Kirsch jump up and run to answer it. Carmilla muffles her laughter by burying her face in my hair. Perry gets up as well and walks into the kitchen. The three of them return at the same time, depositing pizza and paper plates onto the coffee table. Carmilla finishes off my soda, so she goes to get us another. When she gets back everyone is already digging in. As soon as we’re all finished, Perry wastes no time in gathering all of our trash to throw away. She clears off the table and Laf pulls three wrapped gifts and a bag from underneath.

 

     “Present time!” They say excitedly. Then, turning towards the stairs, “HEY, MR.H, PRESENT TIME!”

 

     “Hold on! Hold on!” Is heard, followed by rapid footsteps. Dad rushes into the family room, “Okay, now you can go.”

 

     I laugh softly while deciding which one to open first. I go with Kirsch’s. He’s bouncing so much I’m afraid it will shake the photos off the walls. He got me a replica of Hermione’s wand. Laf gave me a Cosima Pop! vinyl figure and Perry got me Charlie from Supernatural. Danny’s gift is a TARDIS journal like River Song uses. I hug each of them in turn before returning to Carmilla’s side.

 

     Danny looks over and raises an eyebrow, “What, nothing from the girlfriend?”

 

     “I’m pretty sure she is the present.” Laf snickers. They laugh even harder when Carmilla winks at them.

 

     I smack her arm at the same time Perry smacks LaFontaine’s. She just smirks at me, “Aren’t you looking forward to unwrapping me later?” My intense blush sends Laf into another giggle fit. Heat flares up below my stomach at the thought of Carmilla in her underwear.

 

     “Hey, none of that, Karnstein,” Dad says sternly, “What I said last night applies to my house as well.” Then he walks over and musses up my hair before going back upstairs.

 

     Everyone settles back into their movie-watching positions, bellies full of pizza and chips. The next couple hours consist of Harry Potter broken up by random conversations and spontaneous food fights. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate my birthday.

 

     Halfway through The Order of the Phoenix, I turn in my girlfriend’s arms so we’re face-to-face. I stare at her for minute while she looks at me expectantly. After kissing the hollow of her throat, I whisper, “You better not be joking about unwrapping you.”

 

     “You’re killing me, Hollis.” She moans quietly.


	7. Freaks of Nature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of always late, so kind of always sorry.

** 7 **

** Freaks of Nature **

 

 

     Dad is putting the leftover pizza in the fridge when I walk into the kitchen. Perry’s mom just came to pick up her and Laf, so they wouldn't walk home in the dark. As the car pulled away Laf waved at me and pointed to their phone. I'm guessing they texted me or something.

 

     “Is that everyone?” Dad asks.

 

     “No, Carm is still asleep on the couch.” I respond, popping a cookie into my mouth.

 

     He gives me a pointed look and I close up the pack with a sheepish smile. He takes it from my hands while walking past me to the pantry. “It's nearly eleven, aren't vampires nocturnal?” He wonders.

 

     “I think she was sleeping when I texted her earlier. I don't know why she came; I would have understood if she said no.” I've felt bad since I realized she had dozed off just as Harry and the others entered the Hall of Prophecy.

 

     That scene actually made me think a lot about my situation. Which ended up giving me a headache. In every story about a prophecy, it only makes sense after everything is over; either that, or a series of random events that no one saw coming had to happen in order for the prophecy to come true. So, with Carmilla’s arms around me and her soft breath on my neck, I decided I’m not going to think about it anymore. I’m going to enjoy my senior year of high school. I’m going to learn how to control my new powers. Most importantly though, I am going to spend as much time as possible with my incredibly sexy girlfriend. I'll focus on ending a war and defeating an all-powerful vampire when I have to. Whatever happens is going to happen whether I worry about it or not; so there's no sense in rushing it.

 

     Dad comes back and kisses the top of my head. “I know exactly why she came.”

 

     “What? Why?”

 

     He shakes his head and laughs, “You have everyone wrapped around your finger and don't even know it. Just like your mother.”

 

     My retort catches in my throat when I process his words. Before yesterday, I can't remember the last time he mentioned Mom. Now he's just casually bringing her up. “I don't- what are you talking about?”

 

     “Nothing, kiddo.” He says with a smile. “Go wake up Sleeping Beauty and tell her she's got ten minutes before she has to go home.”

 

     “But Dad, it's Saturday.” I whine, pouting a little.

 

     He looks at me sternly, “No buts. I'm going to bed and I don't want you and your girlfriend here alone while I'm asleep. And before you say anything, yes, I would say the same thing if she were male and/or human.”

 

     I can tell by his tone that this is nonnegotiable. _Note to self: never let him find out she's been here nearly every night…”_ With a dramatic sigh, I turn and walk into the family room. Carmilla is still hugging the pillow I replaced myself with when I got up to help Perry clean. Her brow is furrowed and she's frowning slightly. I sit down on the edge of the cushion and gently smooth out the crease between her eyes with my finger. She murmurs sleepily and her body curls around me. I'm distracted from studying her features by my phone lighting up. It must be the message from… _‘What the?’_

 

**[Ginger 2]: _I didn't ask earlier, cuz I didn't want to rub it in Danny's face and possibly start a fight, but you need to give us the details on you and Carmilla. You've been holding out on us, L :p_**

**[Ginger 1]: _They mean they were being considerate of our friend’s feelings by not bringing up a sensitive topic._**

**[Ginger 1]: _But yes, details please!_**

**[Laura]: _Tomorrow, I promise._**

     “Hey, Carm?” I know she's awake, since her arms are now around my waist.

 

     She moves to snuggle her face into my side. “Hmm?”

 

     “Did you mess with my contacts?”

 

     Her muffled laugh vibrates through me, “I may have gotten bored after you left me.”

 

     “I thought you were asleep,” I say, smacking her arm, “and how did you know my passcode?”

 

     “2276. I'm flattered, cutie, but it's a little too obvious.” She sits up and pulls me onto her lap, keeping her arms around me. “So, you haven't told the ginger twins anything about us?”

 

 _‘Of course she read the messages.’_ I lower my face, so she doesn't see me blushing. “I told them a little.” Really, I kinda liked keeping her to myself. I like having someone completely separate from everyone else. _‘All mine.’_

     “I was your dirty little secret then, huh?” She pulls my hair away from my neck and presses a kiss just below my ear. “You should have told me. That's actually a fantasy of mine.” She whispers before running the tip of her tongue along the shell of my ear.

     Her voice sends a chill down my spine. The heat building up between my legs is making me squirm and I know she knows what she's doing to me. My fingers are twitching with the urge to touch her, but something stops me. _‘I’m forgetting something.’_ My apprehension grows as she starts to kiss down my neck.

 

     Suddenly I hear footsteps coming from the kitchen and then my dad is standing in front of us. “Alright, times up! Carmilla, you have to go home now.”

 

 _‘Oh, right. I was supposed to tell her that.’_ To her credit, she handles the news much more maturely than I did. She stands up, lifting me with her, and then waits till my feet are on the ground to let go.

 

     “Goodnight, cupcake.” She kisses my cheek, but stays close to whisper in my ear again, “Try not to get all sweaty and delirious before I get back.”

 

     I barely breathe out a, “Night,” before she follows Dad to the foyer and goes out the front door. _‘How does she do that? One sentence and my brain short circuits.’_ I say goodnight to Dad and head upstairs to get ready for bed. After brushing my teeth, I walk back into my room and close the door behind me. I notice Carmilla’s jacket laying on my bed. _‘I'll just have to snuggle with that tonight.’_   As I move towards my bed, I feel a hand on my shoulder. Instincts and muscle memory take over. I grab their arm and pivot my body so I can flip them over my shoulder. They land on the floor of my room with a heavy thud. _‘Good thing my werewolf strength kicked in, that was terrible form.’_

     “Oww. What the frilly hell was that, cupcake?” A familiar voice groans from the floor.

 

     “Holy Hufflepuff! Carm?!”

 

     “I guess you don't do surprises. Why do you know how to do that?” She asks, still sprawled out on her back.

 

     “I love surprises! Well, when I know about them.”

 

     Her eyes narrow, “That doesn't make any sense…don't explain though, it'll probably confuse me more. ”

 

     “It does make sense, but whatever.” Then I shuffle my feet, suddenly embarrassed. “Uh, well, I've been taking Krav Maga classes since I was eight. After my mom was killed, Dad signed me up and-”

 

     “You became a ninja?”

     “Oh my god. You did not just quote Jessica Jones.”

     Carmilla sits up, rubbing her shoulder. “Who?”

 

     “We are so watching that later, you'll love it.” I say, helping her up off the ground. “Actually, you might relate a little too much and hate it. Oh well.”

     She kicks her boots off and sits on my bed, patting the spot next to her. As soon as I'm in reach, she grabs my hips and drags me down to straddle her lap. I sigh softly as she nuzzles her face against my neck. “Carm, what are you doing?” I ask with a giggle. Her hands slide up my back as she rolls us over, fully on the bed. She’s propped up on her elbows and leans down to kiss me deeply. My hands go to her hips and pull her body down fully on top of me. She rolls her hips ever so slightly and my own jerk up at the contact. _‘What is happening?’_ A purr rumbles in her chest as she kisses down my neck. “Carmilla?” I whimper when she swirls her tongue around the hollow of my throat.

 

     Her lips brush my collarbones when she answers, “I’m continuing what I started earlier.” She pushes back up to hover above me, her blown out pupils turning her eyes black. “Gods,” Her gaze is so intense, it's like she's looking into my soul. “Laura Hollis, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.” Only Carmilla can say that so sweetly while looking like she wants to devour me. My hand flies to tangle in her hair and I pull her down to crash our lips together. After a few minutes, a thought has me smiling into the kiss. She pulls back and raises an eyebrow. “What now?”

 

     I boop her nose and grin. “It's almost midnight. You cut it kinda close.”

 

     She rests her forehead on mine, “I just said every day, I never specified when, creampuff. Now no more talking.” One of her hands slides down my side, stopping at my hip. She plays with the hem of my cami for a moment before slowly slipping her hand underneath. Her cold fingers leave trails of goosebumps across my stomach and it feels like my skin is on fire. Her lips capture mine again, more passionately this time, and I see stars on the backs of my eyelids. A moan drags from my throat when her wandering fingers hit a particularly sensitive spot on the inside of my hipbone. The warmth pooling in my stomach shoots to my core as my hips buck up against her. _‘That’s new.’_ Carmilla sits up, straddling me, and the wicked smirk on her face makes my mouth go dry. “Well what do we have here?” She drawls, her voice low and totally not helping my situation. Her fingers brush over the same spot and I bite my lip to keep back any sounds. “Oh no, cutie, I want to hear more of that.” She leans down and sucks my bottom lip into her mouth; which does result in another moan. She starts to pull my cardigan down off my shoulders, but I grab her hands.

 

     Sitting up, I push her off and stand up next to the bed. “Ah, ah, ah. I get to unwrap you, remember?” Carmilla licks her lips and nods silently in response. She scoots to the edge of the mattress and I pull her up by our still connected hands. ‘ _Now what?’_ Oh god, I didn't think this through. Whenever I imagined taking her clothes off, it's in a lust-fueled frenzy. This, while definitely lustful, is not a frenzy. My heartbeat is pounding in my ears. My hands shake as I reach up to trace her collarbones. I start at the center, moving out to her shoulders. I’m watching my hands, but I can see the smirk on her lips turn into a soft smile. Her skin is cool to the touch, which is weird, because her breath is always warm. I slide my hands over her shoulders and down her arms, sliding her flannel down with them. Tossing it on the bed, I turn back to her and hesitate. She’s never let it get this far before. _I’ve_ never been this far before. I mean, I’ve kissed girls other than Carmilla; but making out at a party is way different than what we’ve been doing. This is…intimate, I don’t know how to handle it. My hands are hovering near the hem of her shirt. I take a deep breath to calm the trembling. Right when I’m about to reach for her, Carmilla takes a half step back.

 

     “Before you do that, I, uh, want to warn you.” She drops her head and rubs the back of her neck. “The man who murdered me, did things to my body afterwards that the vampire blood didn't fully heal. So, I don’t normally let anyone get such a good look.”

 

     “You’re a vampire. At this point scars aren't going to be a deal breaker.” I say softly.

 

     She smirks, all that sudden self-consciousness gone. “Good to know.” Her hands take mine and she kisses the back of each. “Now stop over-thinking, cutie. ‘Cause I'm going to take it off if you don't.”

 

     “No!” I clamp my mouth shut, surprised by my outburst. She just cocks her head to the side with a breathy laugh. “I mean; I want to do it.”

 

 _‘She's right. I have to stop thinking about it. Just girl the hell up and take my girlfriend’s shirt off!’_ That’s something I never expected to think. Before I lose that little bit of motivation, I grab the hem of her shirt and lift it up. Carmilla raises her arms to let me pull it all the way off and throw it on top of her flannel. _‘Okay, be cool, be cool, be- holy shit.’_ When I see her fully, I can't move, I don't think I'm even breathing. My eyes can't seem to settle on anything. There's so much to take in. My mouth dries up as my gaze roams over the swell of her breasts and her black lace bra. There's a flower pattern in the lace and I can't help but wonder if she's wearing matching underwear. I continue down her body and now I’m practically drooling. The faint outline of her abs are visible on her pale stomach. I know she's too lazy to work out so they must be vampire perks. _‘That is so not fair.’_ I run my fingers across her skin, feeling the muscles twitch underneath. Carmilla sucks in when I reach the highest visible rib. That’s when I finally focus on the scars.

     Cutting horizontally across her torso, just below her bra, is a raised, jagged line. It reminds me of the sewn up bodies I saw at the morgue once, but they were cut the opposite direction. A few more scars are visible curling over her ribs from the back. Without thinking, I slowly walk around to stand behind her. Her back is crisscrossed with thin, faded lines. They’re similar to pictures I’ve seen of people who have been lashed or caned. _‘But she said this happened after she was killed. Why beat a dead body?’_ Carmilla is standing up straight, her shoulders visibly tense. I’m about to ask what’s wrong, but then I figure it out. She’s not used to being vulnerable, and this is as vulnerable as it gets. She is showing me all of her imperfections. I have to show her it doesn’t change anything. She flinches slightly when I press a kiss to the base of her neck. I move in front of her again and look at her face. Her expression is purposely blank; her eyes giving nothing away as she stares silently back at me. After a moment, I lower my gaze to her chest. Right over her heart is a sunburst shaped scar. It looks like someone stabbed her repeatedly in the exact same spot. _‘Who did this to her?_ _And how hard is it to find shirts that hide the scars while showing as much skin as she does? Wait a minute, she was wearing a tank top in the picture she sent me. Was the scar visible and I was too focused on everything else to notice? I’ll check later.’_

 

     I kiss the scar on her chest lightly before grabbing her face to pull her in and kiss her lips. Breaking away, I lean back to be able to look her in the eye. “You’re perfect.”

 

     She scoffs and shakes her head. “You and I must have vastly different definitions of that word.”

 

     “You’ll always be perfect to me. Even where you aren’t.”

 

     "Laura, I think I’m-” She is cut off by both of our heads turning to the door. Heavy footsteps are coming down the hall toward my room. Carmilla grabs her clothes and fades into the shadows by the bed.

 

     A knock on the door keeps me from questioning that power for the moment. “Yeah?” I call out. The door opens and Dad steps halfway into the room. I frown as he tries to subtly scan the room. “You looking for something, Dad?” _‘Or someone.’_

 

     He jumps at my question and looks at me sheepishly, “The station just called, they need me there right away. I'll probably be there till tomorrow night.  I just wanted to make sure you're okay before I left.”

 

     I walk over and give him a hug. “Thank you. I'll be fine, I'm a werewolf now you know.” I say with a sarcastic grin. “And if anything does happen, my vampire girlfriend can literally be here in the blink of an eye.”

 

     “I never would have imagined that hearing ‘vampire girlfriend’ would be a positive thing, but oh well.” He muses up my hair before letting me go. “Goodnight, kiddo, and no girlfriend over while I'm gone. Unless it's an emergency, I guess.”

 

     “I know, Dad, I know. Goodnight, I love you.”

 

     “Love you too.” He glances around the room one more time and then makes his way downstairs.

 

     After closing the door, I turn around and watch a shadow on my bed solidify into Carmilla lounging across it. _‘And she's still shirtless. Dear lord.’_ But my curiosity is stronger than my lust right now, just barely though. I sit on the edge and stare at her for a moment before stating, “That wasn't teleportation.”

 

     “No, it wasn't.” She says simply.

 

     “Nor was it one of the abilities you told me last night.”

 

     “No? Huh, I always forget that one. Probably because it isn’t a vampire abili- it’s not a common vampire ability.” She corrects herself mid-sentence and it's the second time today she's slipped up. I have a nagging feeling that she's not telling me everything.

 

     “So, you can turn into a shadow?” I ask.

 

     "It's a little more complicated than that, but basically yes.” She sits up while answering and scoots over to sit next to me.

 

     I pull her hand into my lap and start playing with her fingers. She seems to be in an open mood, well for her anyway, so I'm going to try and get some answers. “You know what's been bothering me?” I ask thoughtfully.

 

     “No, but I think I'm gonna find out.”

 

     I nudge her with my shoulder before continuing. “Vampires are dead, right? So you don't need to breathe?” She nods yes to both questions. “Then why do you?”

 

     Carmilla chuckles and smirks at me. “Vampires _are_ dead, so their bodies don't have to function normally, but they can. Have you noticed when I breathe?” I shake my head silently, not wanting to interrupt. “Well it's usually when you're on top of me or when we're kissing.” My face heats up when I figure out what she means and her smirk widens. “My brain is the only thing still functioning properly. So, when a pretty girl is pressed up against me, it releases hormones like normal. My body then reacts to the hormones – dilated pupils and shortness of breath, etc. – even though it doesn't really have to. The same thing happens when a vampire feeds. Their heart starts to beat as a reaction to the blood; sometimes, their body warms up as well.”

 

     Whoa. I really should have gotten my notebook out before starting this conversation, or opened the voice memo app on my phone. There's something weird about her wording and I feel like it's important. _‘She keeps changing who she's referring to.’_ That's it! Sometimes she talks about herself and then other times she talks about vampires in general. I know she's hiding something and the journalist in me needs to find out what. “What about your heart?” I ask, keeping my gaze on our hands.

 

     She stiffens and takes a moment to respond. “What about it?”

 

     I take a deep breath. I just have to straight up ask her; she’ll keep avoiding it if I don't. “You said ‘my’ when talking about brain function, but said ‘vampires’ when talking about the heart. It sounds like you and vampires are different in that category. Also, earlier you said ‘if I had a heart’.”

     She tries to interrupt, “I meant-”

 

     “No, you meant what you said. I'm not an idiot Carm. That scar is right over where your heart should be. I don't know much about this supernatural world I'm now in, but I do know that a stake through the heart is one of the few ways to permanently kill a vampire. So, if you were stabbed, how are you alive?”

 

     Carmilla abruptly stands up and starts pacing in front of me. She rakes her hands through her hair. I can't help it; my eyes drag up and down her body as she passes back and forth. She stops and I blink a couple times when she waves her hand in my face. “Are you listening?”

 

     “What? Sorry, sorry, but you're going to have to put on a shirt before I'm able to concentrate because,” I gesture at her upper body, “wow.”

 

     She tries to keep a straight face, but I see the corners of her mouth twitch up as she reaches for her flannel. I groan internally when she only does the bottom two buttons. _‘That’s almost worse. Now I just want to take it off again.’_ She stands back in front of me and crosses her arms over her chest. “Look, I know you’re going to have a million questions. The problem is I won’t be able to answer them. I’ve spent a good part of my life trying to figure this out and I still have nothing.”

 

     “You have to know something.” I say, slipping into journalist mode. “I find it hard to believe you couldn’t find anything for over three centuries.”

 

     “I know I’m not normal. I have powers no vampire ever has before. The sun doesn’t bother me as much as it should. I don’t get hungry often and when I do it’s not as severe as the other’s.” She’s pacing again, obviously agitated. “That’s it, and it doesn’t help at all.”

 

     “I might be able to if you tell me.” I watch her prowl back and forth across my room, thinking it over.

 

     “Fine. God dammit.” She pinches the bridge of her nose, still pacing. “When I was eighteen, Baron Gerard Vordenberg stabbed me in the heart with a dagger after I refused his advances. The next thing I remember is waking up in a strange room with Mother standing over me. She told me the Vordenbergs used my body to practice necromancy. They succeeded in bringing me back to “life” and proceeded to do whatever they wanted to my body for six months. One thing was to remove my heart and replace it with a massive diamond, for whatever reason. Mother heard about me and decided to do an experiment of her own. She feed me her blood to see if whatever magic the men used would pump it through my body without a heart.” Carmilla turns to me with a pained expression. “It worked. I turned, and in my bloodlust, killed everyone in the Vordenberg’s manor. Well, almost; clearly someone got away. I don't remember any of it, but that’s what the ginger giant was talking about last night.”

 

     “But you didn’t really murder them. Your mother basically served them up on a silver platter.” I say. This whole grey area thing is new to me, but I feel the need to defend her somehow.

 

     “It doesn't matter. The fact that a vampire killed a human is all they care about.” She says flatly.

 

     “Well that's not fair.”

 

     Her head falls back as a bitter laugh springs from her lips. “Well that's life, nothing is fair. I might have enjoyed immortality if Mother hadn't turned me into her pet. A monster with a heart of stone, her glittering girl, to show off to all her peers. I'm a freak of nature held together by necromancy and vampire blood. My life was never my own. She made me believe I was alone, that I needed her because she was the only one who could ever love me.”

 

     “It sounds like she wanted to keep you close to her. Are there others like you?” I ask.

 

     “Not that I know of, but Mother has always been good at keeping secrets. Why?” She looks at me intently.

 

     “I just find it strange that she would focus solely on you, if she could just make more. All she would have needed to do is get the…oh my god! That’s it!” Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise as I jump up and run to my desk. “She doesn’t know what magic, or whatever necromancy is, the Vordenbergs used to bring you back to life. You must have killed them all before she could get it from them.” I say, carrying my “vampire notebook” back to my bed. I write down an abbreviated of her story and my theories. “The diamond probably has something to do with it too.”

 

     "So she doesn't even know what I am, great." She watches me for a moment before saying, “Well, that would explain why she kept me locked up for the first couple decades. It also explains why she brainwashed me into staying when she couldn’t do that anymore. Gods, I hate her.”

 

     Suddenly, an image of Carmilla standing over a body with blood dripping from her hands flashes through my mind. “Stone cannot love flesh.” I murmur.

 

     In an instant she is kneeling before me, her hands gripping my knees painfully. “Where did you here that?”

 

     My head starts to hurt as more images flood my brain. “I don't- I don’t know.”

 

     “Laura, you need to tell me where the hell you heard that!”

 

     I close my eyes, focusing on the scene playing in my head before it fades. “Last night, I had a dream while I was unconscious. We were in a room with your mother and she said that to you.”

 

     She releases her grip and falls forward, her head resting on my thigh. “Thank the gods. I was afraid she had gotten to you somehow.” Carmilla leans back and sits on her heels. “That wasn't a dream. It was a vision. There's no other way you could have quoted my mother’s favorite pep talk.”

 

     “A vision?!” I jump up in excitement and send her sprawling. “Oh gosh, sorry! But a vision! Aw man, I used my Gift and don’t even remember most of it. So does that mean I'm a seer like my mom?” I ask, the words leaving my mouth in a rapid fire stream.

 

     “Yes and no.” She says from the floor, grinning up at me. “You really are the halfbreed from the prophecy, which I'm certain you are, then you will also be so much more.”

 

     “Wait, I have more than one Gift?”

 

     She chuckles and stand up. “Cupcake, you have every Gift. It literally says ‘all the power of the moon’, I don't know how the wolves haven't figured it out themselves.”

 

     I flop long ways onto my bed and groan. “That sounds like a lot of work.”

 

     “You’re the most powerful werewolf since the original. Hopefully no one will exploit you like a freak show attraction.”

 

     She is staring at the wall with a far-away look in her eyes. “Hey.” I throw my pillow at her, laughing when it hits her in the face. She picks it up and glares at me. I continue now that I have her attention. “If you're a freak of nature, then so am I.”

 

     Carmilla launches herself onto the bed, bouncing until she's straddling my hips. “You are not a freak.” She says with a smirk and kisses the tip of my nose. “You are a miracle.” She then kisses my cheek. “A wonder of the world.” I'm smiling when she kisses the other cheek. “Your face could launch a thousand ships.” She tries to kiss my lips, but I’m laughing again, so she kisses down my neck instead.

 

     My laugh becomes a strangled gasp when she sucks on my pulse point and rolls her hips forcefully into mine. Just like that, the playful mood is gone and all the intensity from before is back. My hips rock up to meet her and she sighs against my skin. Her lips claim mine hungrily. We moan simultaneously as our tongues slide against each other. My hands slide down her back and under her flannel. She bites my lip as she sits up and I’m a little ashamed of the whimpering sound I make. She scoots back onto my thighs and runs her hands down my sides. They stop at my waist and then move back up, taking my cami with them.

 

     I prop myself up on my elbows to watch her stare at my exposed stomach. _‘Yeah, I have abs too.’_ The muscles clench as Carmilla lightly draws her fingers across my skin. “Thank you, Krav Maga.” She says, licking her lips. My arms give out when she starts kissing around my navel and runs her tongue across the skin right above the waistband of my jeans. My hands are fisting in the sheets as I try to control my reactions to all these new sensations. After another minute or two of her attention it becomes too much and I pull her back up to my lips. She doesn't let me keep her there long before she's sitting up slightly and starts pushing my cardigan off my shoulders.

 

     "Someone's impatient.” I giggle, following her up.

 

     “Just get if off, cupcake.”

 

     With a smirk, I let the cardigan slide slowly down my arms. She bites her lip while watching my movements. As soon as I toss it towards my closet, she leans forward, connecting our lips and pushing me into the mattress. I jerk back up when something pokes me in the back.

 

     “Wait, wait.” I say quickly. Reaching back, I pull my notebook from behind me. _‘When did that get there?’_ When I drop it onto the floor, I feel a stinging pain in my index finger. “Ow! Dang it, papercut.”

 

     There is already a drop of blood collecting, but before I can do anything, Carmilla grabs my wrist. She stares at my finger longingly, then slowly slips it into her mouth. All kinds of warning bells start going off in my head, something about vampires and blood, but I can’t hear them over the filthy moan coming from my girlfriend. Her tongue swirls around the digit and her eyes roll back into her head. My breathing as practically stopped and my heart is beating at what has to be an unhealthy rate. _‘Seriously, how does something so simple feel so good?’_ I try to pull my hand back, but she tightens her grip. When she looks down at me, her pupils are slits at the center of silver irises. She pulls my finger from her mouth with a pop. Her free hand finds mine and she pins both of them above my head. My eyes are locked on hers, something about them is making me not want to look away. Carmilla kisses me roughly and I groan when she bites my lip a little too hard. She kisses up to my ear, where she whispers, “You taste even more delicious than I thought you would.” Then she drags her nose down my neck.

 

     Suddenly, every cell in my body is screaming ‘DANGER’ and my muscles tense up. “Carm, let me up.” I say, trying to lift my arms. A growl is the only response and she presses my hands down harder. My heart is pounding for an entirely different reason now. Ever since we met, I have felt nothing but safe with Carmilla. Even after I found out the truth, the thought of her hurting me seemed impossible. But right now I’m scared, some instinctual fear kicking in. I try to squirm out from under her, but her legs and hips are holding me in place. “Seriously, I want to get up.” I plead. Her responding growl is harsher than the last and I feel something sharp against my neck when her lips part. _‘Her fangs!’_ Taking a deep breath, I try to relax my body as much as possible. “Carmilla, stop. Please.”

 

     She shakes her head and I’m confused when I realize her skin is wet against mine. “I can’t.” The words are sobbed out right before a white-hot heat sears through me, spreading from my neck. _‘She just bit me…like really bit me.’_ After a moment, her body relaxes slightly. I take the chance to summon the new strength I forgot I have and buck her off. She hits the floor and it seems to knock her out of whatever trance she was just in. She shuffles backwards till she hits the opposite wall and curls in on herself. “No, no, no. Not again.” Carmilla is staring wide-eyed at her hands, which are shaking violently. When she lifts her head, tears are streaming down her face. “I’m sorry, Laura. I’m so sorry.” Then she disappears.

 

_‘What the hell was that?’_


	8. When Is a Monster Not a Monster?

**8**  
**When Is a Monster Not a Monster?**

 

  
     “I'm sorry, Laura. I'm so sorry.”

 

     I jump up from the bed as soon as she disappears. Then promptly collapse when my knees buckle. _‘It's not like I could follow her anyway.’_   With a groan, I slowly sit up. My head is spinning and my neck is throbbing. _‘Oh god, my neck.’_   I stand up, much more carefully this time, and walk over to the mirror hanging on my closet door. Tilting my head to the side, the two puncture wounds become visible. They're not as bad as I thought they would be; they aren't even bleeding. I gently prod around the holes to see if they're tender. That's when I notice the bruise on my wrist. Looking down, I see the other has one too.

 

     The fact that I'm not more upset about this is kind of freaking me out. I should be furious that my girlfriend just assaulted me. I am angry, just not that angry. It's definitely going to take time for me to let her touch me again, but I still want to see her. My feeling for her are making this so damn confusing. Looking at the marks on my body makes my stomach twist painfully, but the thought of ignoring her does too. Then I think of how scared she looked before disappearing and I get even more confused. _‘Why was she crying? What did she mean by not again?’_   My curiosity is taking over again and I hate it. With a groan, I fall onto the bed. _‘I shouldn’t care about those things, right? It shouldn’t matter, right?’_   My head falls to the side and I look around my room. _‘Should, should, should. That just means I do and it does.’_   I can’t ignore the feeling that Carmilla would never hurt me; I refuse to believe she did on purpose.

 

     I pause my introspection when I notice a silver iPhone on my desk. It has to be Carmilla’s. I go over and press the home button. _‘Oh Carm…’_   Her lock screen is the picture I sent her the other night. On a whim, I type 2843 and it opens. _‘Cutie, and she says I’m obvious.’_   She has the picture as her home screen as well. I smile sadly at the phone in my hand. _‘There has to be an explanation for what she did.’_   There is a click as the phone goes dark after I press the power button. With another press, my face lights up the screen again. I need to talk to her, I need to know what happened. Then a yawn takes me by surprise. The clock says two-thirty. But first, I need to sleep. I put her phone next to mine on the nightstand and turn off the light.

 

     After nearly an hour of tossing and turning, I give in and grab Carmilla’s leather jacket from the foot of my bed. Her scent lulls me to sleep in minutes. 

  
-/-/-

  
    _The panther skids to a stop in the trees at the edge of the property. It cocks it's head as the sound of voices reaches its ears. Sticking to the shadows, it slowly approaches the source. A blonde teenage girl and a brunette woman are talking by the duck pond. The panther suppresses a whimper when the woman's grey eyes suddenly lock onto it._

 

_“Mircalla, darling, what are you doing creeping around in the shadows? Don't be rude, come here._

 

_A moment later, a girl with long, dark hair emerges from the tree line where the panther was hiding. She approaches the pair and immediately addresses the girl, “Ell, are you alright? Has she harmed you?” She extends her hand, but the girl, Ell, jerks back and moves to stand slightly behind the woman. The dark haired girl, Mircalla, drops her hand. “What have you done?” She asks the woman._

 

_The woman chuckles darkly. “I've simply told her the truth about your, condition.”_

 

_Mircalla looks between the two, her eyes widening in fear. She reaches for Ell again, but stops when she flinches. “Ell, please let me explain.”_

 

_“What is there to explain?” Ell asks, her gaze hardening. “You are a liar and a monster. You just used me to get information from my family. And tonight you were planning on kidnapping me to be used in a satanic ritual.” She shakes her head with a scoff. “I can't believe I trusted you.”_

 

_“No, the plan was for us to escape. I wanted to save you. I would never hurt you, Ell. I lov-”_

 

_“Stop!” Ell yells, cutting off Mircalla’s pleading, “Don't you dare say that to me. I won't be fooled by your silver tongue any longer.”_

 

_"Actions are worth more than words, are they not? How about a little demonstration?” The woman inquires, her lips pulling into a cruel smile. She turns to the girl next to her and her eyes glow red. “Be a dear and cut open your wrist.”_

 

_Ell’s eyes glaze over as she crouches down and starts searching through the rocks at the pond’s edge._

 

_Mircalla stands stricken, her hands shaking. “Mother, stop. I am sorry for disobeying you. It was my plan, punish me, not her. Please.”_

 

_Ell stands up at that moment. She turns to the woman and draws the sharp edge of a rock across her wrist, cutting deep into the flesh. The dark haired girl inhales deeply before a shudder runs through her body and she steps back. The woman lifts Ell’s arm and runs her finger along the bleeding wound. She slowly licks the blood from her finger, then looks at the other girl. “When was the last time you fed from a human? This one is still untainted. Why do you insist on starving yourself like this?” There is no concern in her voice, just pure curiosity. As she spoke, she walked over and put her arm around Mircalla’s shoulders. The girl doesn't answer. Her eyes are slowly turning silver as she stares at the blood dripping from Ell’s raised arm. The woman chuckles when she realizes where her daughter’s gaze is locked. “Now, let Ell see what you really are.” She leans down and whispers in Mircalla’s ear, “Threats to the sacrifice cannot be tolerated. From anyone.” Then with a violent shove, she sends Mircalla stumbling into the other girl._

 

_"I'm sorry, Ell. I'm so sorry.” Mircalla breathes out before sinking her fangs into Ell’s neck, tears streaming down her face._

 

_The woman laughs at the sight. “See, you can't run from what you really are. Stone cannot love flesh, my glittering girl, and no one will ever love a monster like you.”_

  
-/-/-

  
     “Good morning, Danny. Did you sleep well?”

 

     “Morning, Hollis. I slept like a log. You?”

 

     “Great, great, that’s great. I slept well, too.” I slap the hand not holding my phone to my forehead. _‘Get on with it.’_   “So, I have two questions for you and I kind of need them answered as soon as possible.”

 

     “Fire away then.”

 

     “Okay, first; do all werewolves have self-healing powers?”

 

     Danny chuckles softly before answering. “Yeah, that’s a universal thing. Along with enhanced senses, strength, and speed. Oh, and transforming.”

 

     “Oh cool, I thought it might be a Gift.” I glance at my bruise-less wrist and take a deep breath. “The second question has two parts. How do I use those enhanced senses and exactly how powerful is our sense of smell?” She doesn't answer right away and it’s quiet for a few minutes. “Danny?”

 

     “What's going on Laura? Why were you hurt? What are you trying to find?”

 

     There it is. The condescending tone I was hoping to avoid, the same one she used on my birthday when Carm picked me up from school. I would rather have called Lyla, but Danny’s is the only number I have. I'm sure she means to sound like a concerned friend, but to me it comes off as more like a parent getting ready to say ‘I told you so’.

 

     When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was check the bite mark on my neck. To my surprise, it was gone. Along with the bruises on my wrists and the paper cut on my finger. With the problem of covering up the physical evidence taken care of, talking to Carmilla is the only thing on my mind. Especially after that dream. I showered and ate breakfast, the whole time trying to think of a way to find her. The idea of tracking her scent came to me while I was getting dressed and I tried on her jacket. I'm not sure how effective this will be, considering she teleports most of the time. Although, she told me once that she likes to look at the stars while walking Scout, so her scent is out there. But before I can follow it, I need to talk to a werewolf. Which is why I'm about to be patronized at ten in the morning.

 

     “Nothing is going on, relax. I got a paper cut last night and was surprised when it was completely healed this morning. Carm left her phone here, so I figured this would be a good opportunity to practice my new abilities and find her house myself.” I say brightly, trying to hide the exasperation in my voice.

 

     “If you say so.” Danny sighs and I can practically hear her frowning as she answers my earlier question. “Okay, so your senses are now permanently amped up. Have you noticed how sensitive you are to loud sounds and bad smells?” I grunt in acknowledgment. “And if you focus your concentration on a single sense, its effectiveness increases.”

 

     “Awesome! Thanks Danny! See you tomorrow!” I end the call as soon as I finish talking, ignoring the feeling that she let me off easy. I don't want to give her a chance to question me again.

 

     I pull on a grey beanie and put Carmilla’s leather jacket on over a sweatshirt. With both phones and my keys in the pockets of my sweatpants, I go sit on the front steps. The air is cold, but the sun is bright, so it balances out. I lean back on my hands and bask in the light for a moment. Then I close my eyes and inhale deeply though my nose. _‘And nothing.’_   Sitting up straight, I concentrate on the air around me and try to block everything else out. I inhale again. _‘And whoa.’_

 

     Three different dogs have marked the mailbox today.

 

     The Wilsons had Chinese for dinner last night.

 

     The kid across the street has been has been smoking his dad’s cigarettes behind their shed again.

 

     Dad wore way too much cologne when he went to work.

 

     There is so much more, but those caught my attention first. It's like seeing the world through new eyes. I bury my nose in the collar of Carmilla’s jacket. Ignoring the obvious spearmint and leather, I focus on the earthy, copper-tinged scent that is Carmilla. I stand up and sniff closer to the door. Her scent is all over. _‘Oh yeah, I can totally do this.’_   Pulling my beanie down over my ears more, I head off towards the park. I know the general direction she walks from there, not my house, so it's the most logical place to start. I'm in the pool parking lot when I catch her scent. It's fresher than I thought it would be, she must have gone on a walk after leaving last night. I shove my hands deeper into the pockets of jacket and follow her trail. I should have paid more attention in the car the other day, that would have made this a little easier. The houses get smaller as I walk further and then I turn onto a street that looks familiar. It turns out to be a cul de sac and I can see Carmilla's house at the end. My chest swells with pride as I approach the front door. I just successfully tracked someone for the first time, by myself. _‘I can't wait to tell Carm.’_   The thought makes me pause. I just realized I have no idea what to do now that I'm here. _‘Is she even awake?’_   I doubt it. Dark curtains block every window, so it's impossible to tell if anyone is home. I knock on the door a few times and listen for movement. The sound of nails scraping the floor is followed by a soft growl.

 

     I lean against the door and speak loudly through it, “Scout? It's Laura.” I get a bark in response, which I take as a sign to continue. “Go wake up Carmilla. I need to talk to her. Get Carm.” I hear the Rottweiler walk away after barking again. _‘Did I just talk to a dog?’_   She returns a few minutes later and her growl sounds a lot like ‘Go away’. _‘You've got to be kidding me. I must be losing my mind.’_   I try the door handle, unsurprised to find it locked. “Carmilla Karnstein! I am not going to let you run away and hide. I care about you too much. You bit me and we need to talk about it!” I yell, pounding hard on the door.

 

     It's quiet for a moment, and then I hear glass shattering inside. Scout snarls and runs toward the sound. Someone yelps in pain. A loud crack makes me cringe. I pound the door uselessly, wishing it wasn't there so I could get inside. Then my fist goes right through the wood. _‘Holy crap sticks.’_   The door is still intact, but half my arm is now on the other side. I'm about to freak out when I remember Danny saying Elsie’s Gift is being able to pass through things; and Carmilla said I will be able to use every Gift. Taking a deep breath, I step forward and walk into the house. _'That is so cool!’_   A whimper draws my attention away from my new found power.

 

     Running through the dark foyer, I enter the living room in time to see Carmilla launch what looks like half a coffee table across the room at Elsie. The blonde girl doesn't even flinch as the broken furniture flies straight through her and into the wall. A quick glance around shows most of Lyla’s pack in the house. Elsie and Madison are standing by what looks to be entrance to the kitchen, Danny is by the shattered remains of the glass back door wielding a stake, and Mel is in front of a large window holding Scout suspended in the air with an outstretched hand. _‘Wait, where's Betty?’_

 

     Carmilla sees me just as I'm about to voice the question and we both freeze, staring at each other. Our trance is broken when a fireball flies at her head. Her hand shoots up, catching the flame and snuffing it out in her fist. She winks at Madison before disappearing. Mel inhales sharply and all heads whip in her direction. Carmilla is now standing right in front of her. She grabs the wolf by the throat and hurls her head-first out the window; taking the curtains with her and covering the floor in even more glass. Scout falls to the ground and immediately lunges at Danny. The red head simply steps back and disappears into the shadows. I look out the window just in time to see her appear next to Mel, who is rubbing her neck. Carmilla bares her fangs at the other two wolves and they dart out the door after their pack mates.

 

     Carmilla turns to me and her silver eyes lock onto mine. “Did you really bring them here to kill me?” She asks bitterly.

 

     I shake my head vehemently. “I didn't, I swear. I came alone. They must have followed me for some reason.”

 

     She scoffs, “Yeah, I wonder what that is.”

 

     “I'll go talk to th-” Before I can finish, Carmilla is ripped from the room by an unseen force. “Every freaking time…” I groan to myself. I jump out the window into the backyard, stumbling a little on the landing. _‘Introducing the world’s first uncoordinated werewolf.’_   Carmilla is being held in the air by Mel and yelled at by Danny. “Mel, let her go!” I yell as I run up.

 

     Mel just sneers at me. “I don’t take orders from you, halfblood.”

 

     I glare at her and put as much authority into my voice as possible, “Put. Her. Down.” To everyone’s surprise, Mel’s especially, the vampire drops to her feet as soon as the words leave my mouth. “Thank you.”

 

     The wolf stares at her hands in confusion. “I didn’t do that…Why isn’t my Gift working?”

 

     “Oh this is too good.” Carmilla chuckles, drawing everyone’s attention. “You all are powerless until the cupcake says otherwise.” She looks around at all the confused expressions and sighs. “It’s one of Laura’s Gifts.”

 

     “One of?!” Danny asks incredulously, turning to me. I notice a large bruise forming on the right side of her face.

 

     “I’ll explain later. For right now, you all need to leave.” I say, stepping between the wolves and Carmilla.

 

     “No can do, Hollis. She attacked you and we can’t take that lying down.” Madison says matter-of-factly. “It’s the principle of the thing.”

 

     I cross my arms over my chest. “Who said she attacked me?”

 

     “Uh, Lawrence said you did.”

 

     “Oh really?” I say, raising an eyebrow at the red head. “When was that?”

 

     Danny returns my look and squares up her shoulders. “You specifically said she bit you.”

 

     “That doesn’t mean she attacked me.” I say, fighting to suppress a smirk. “Things just got a little…kinkier than we expected last night.”

 

     Carmilla starts choking behind me, but waves me off when I move to help.

 

     I turn back around when I hear Danny sigh. “Cut the shit, Laura.”

 

     “I won’t let you hurt her.”

 

     “You’re out of your league.”

 

     “Doesn’t matter.”

 

     We stare each other down for a minute until Carmilla clears her throat. “In case you forgot, Clifford, none of you are in any condition to be making threats.” She says, gesturing at the pack, “So, if you want to leave with your limbs still attached, do it now.”

 

     Danny is about to argue, but stops when Elsie grabs her arm. She holds up her phone and Danny nods. The red head turns to Carmilla and opens her mouth to say something, but instead just shakes her head. She walks off into the trees behind Carmilla’s house and the other girls follow.

 

     Scout barks from inside and I look around the yard for Carmilla. _‘Stupid vampire and her sneaky teleporting.’_   I step through the back door slowly, careful to avoid the larger pieces of glass. I hear doors slamming and make my way to the kitchen. Leaning against the wall, I watch Carmilla tear open a blood bag with her teeth and pour the contents into a mug. She puts the mug in the microwave and sets the timer. She leans forward, bracing herself with both hands on the counter, and drops her head. Her back is to me, but I can still see the exhaustion in every line of her body.

 

     “I didn't know you're a southpaw.” I say quietly, not wanting to startle her after watching silently for a few minutes. She doesn't acknowledge me in any way, so I wait about ten seconds and try again. “Danny had an impressive bruise on her cheek, that must have hurt.” Still nothing. The microwave beeps and she quickly takes out her drink. She doesn't turn around, just keeps facing the wall while taking a long sip. “I know about Ell.”

 

     Her hands tighten around the mug. “I would say that that shouldn't be possible, but you have a knack for defying expectaions.” She says softly, turning around. “I'm done defending and explaining myself. I'm a vampire and vampires eat people.”

 

     “That's the thing though, you don't.” She just raises an eyebrow, so I continue. “What happened last night is the same thing that happened then. You go so long not feeding from a human that when the temptation is there, you can't stop yourself.” I take few steps into the kitchen. Now there is only the small island separating us.

 

     Carmilla tips her head back and drinks the rest of the blood. She places the empty mug on the island. After a moment, she starts spinning it with her fingers. “I will never forgive myself for that. But what else do you want me to say?” She asks, looking me in the eye finally.

 

     “I don't want you to say anything. I just want you to know that you're not a bloodthirsty killer; you actually care about people. Simply being a vampire doesn't make you a monster, your actions do.”

 

     “My actions, Laura, were to hold you down and drink from your neck while you struggled and begged me to stop. Is that not monstrous enough for you?” Her hands balled into fists while she spoke, and she practically yelled the question. There is a fire in her eyes I have never seen before. They burn with loathing that I know isn't directed at me. I want to comfort her, but the memory of last night keeps me from reaching out. Carmilla sees my hands twitch as I hesitate and her shoulders fall. “See, you don't even want to be near me.” Her eyes fill with unshed tears, dousing the fire. “Just go home. I don't trust myself around you, and you shouldn't trust me either.”

 

     I feel my eyes tearing up as well when I hear the anguish in her voice. “That wasn't you. It was just the hunger.”

 

     “It was me! That's what I am, a heartless monster.” She cries, slamming her fists on the island. She huffs and goes over to the fridge, nearly ripping the door off when she opens it. Not even bothering with a mug this time, she just tears open a new blood bag and drinks all of it.

 

     “No! I won't let your mother keep hurting you like this!” A sudden flash of anger has me raising my voice.

 

     She flinches slightly at my tone. “What does my mother have to do with this?”

 

     “I heard her tell you that no one will ever love you. You believe her. You see only the worst of yourself and think that's what everyone else sees too. You push away and run from anyone who cares about you because she said it isn't possible.” I had started pacing in front of the island, but I stop to look at her. “Well, I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. I care about you Carmilla. I'm not going to let you be miserable and alone for the rest of your life because your mother is a raging bad person. You deserve better.”

 

     She holds my gaze for a minute and I watch a range of emotions storm behind her eyes. Then she shakes her head and looks down at her hands. I see her biting her lip to hold back a smile. “Raging bad person. Gods, you're adorable.” She looks back up, brow furrowed in concern, and leans forward onto her forearms. “Thank you.” She says quietly. “But that doesn't change the fact that I violated your trust and your body. I can't guarantee it won't happen again, so your best option is to stay far away from me.”

 

     “Carm, stop. Am I upset with you? Yes. Is it going to take time for me to be comfortable around you again? Yes. Am I going to give up on you? Absolutely not.” I pause to look into her eyes. I need her to see that I mean every word. Her internal conflict is obvious as she straightens up and bites her lip while looking at the ceiling. I decide to keep taking before she tries to shut me down. “You said you want a second chance at life. This is it. Once you help me defeat Lilita, you’ll be free. Free to do whatever you want. Free to live however you want.” The more I think about it, I don't know what that means for her. Of all the things we've talked about before and after I found out she's a vampire, what she would do if she wasn't under her mother’s control wasn't one of them. “What do you want? If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”

 

     She continues staring at the ceiling for a minute or two, before slowly lowering her gaze to meet mine. My breath catches in my throat when I see the look in her eyes. I'm starting to realize exactly what it means, and the thought sends my heart racing. “You.” She says it so softly I almost miss it.

 

     “Carmilla,” I warn. “I'm being serious.”

 

     She smirks a little at my use of her full name. “So am I, cupcake. I'm 335 years old. I've been to all kinds of places, I've meet all kinds of people. I've had my share of excitement. I no longer have any lofty ambitions.” She leans forward again, this time resting her head in a hand propped up on her elbow. “Now, I just want you. I want to watch shitty TV shows with you on the couch. I want you to fall asleep in my arms. I want you to lay your head in my lap while I'm reading and tell me about your day. I don't even care if we defeat my mother first.” Carmilla steps back from the island and walks around to stand in front of me. She makes sure to keep a few feet of distance between us though. “We could run away. We’d find some way to leave and we’d just go. Somewhere without murders or werewolves. We'd sleep in hotel rooms and never live in the same city twice. There would be no one to fail or disappoint, or save. It would just be…you and me in love.” She lifts her hands towards me, but drops them quickly. “Being with you is all I've wanted since the moment we met.”

 

      _‘You and me in love…I like the sound of that.’_   Before I can stop myself, I rush forward and throw my arms around her neck in a tight hug. Carmilla stiffens at the contact, but holds my hips lightly after a moment. She only fully relaxes when I release her. “Sorry, I couldn't help it.” I say, cheeks flushed.

 

     “It's fine,” She says, grinning slightly. “Not complaining.”

 

     I'm getting tired of standing, so I signal for her to follow me and walk into the living room. I grimace when I see the state it's in and remember what happened.

 

     Carmilla comes in behind me and groans. “Fucking werewolves.” She mutters. Then she moves past me and makes her way across the room. “Come on. I can't sit in here with the window open like that.”

 

     I glance around as I follow her. The window is pretty big and the whole room is lit up by the sunlight coming in. _‘No wonder she needed so much blood earlier. Being out in that much direct sunlight could not have been good for her.’_   I rub Scout’s head on my way past the couch, where she has curled up to nap. Carmilla leads me to a smaller room off the foyer. I didn't notice it before in my rush into the house. She flicks on a lamp in the corner and I can't help but smile. Floor to ceiling bookcases take up two of the walls and they are all full. There is a chaise lounge facing away from a curtained covered window that Carmilla gestures for me to sit down on. She takes the recliner tucked in the corner.

 

     “You know we can't actually leave, right? Too many people are counting on me. On us.” I say seriously once we’re both settled.

 

     “I know.” She sighs. “That was more hypothetical than anything. Really, I just want us to be okay again.”

 

     The longing in her voice breaks my heart and brings tears to my eyes. _‘No, this is not the time to get emotional. She's really not going to like what I say next.’_   I take a deep breath to prepare myself. “I, uh, have a plan for that actually.”

 

     She leans forward, elbows on her knees, and raises an eyebrow. “Oh? And what would that be?”

 

     I mirror her, leaning forward and clasping my hands together. “I let you feed from me every once in a while, so you don't jump me whenever I get a paper cut.”

 

     Her jaw drops, then slams shut before she flies to her feet. “Laura, what the fuck?!”

 

    _'Yeah, this isn't going to go well.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, sorry about the wait. I have a lot of ideas bouncing around my head and I can't prioritize to save my life :)


	9. Oh, When You Love It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laura is a mess and emotions are all over the place; but I don't like writing them fighting, so I kinda rushed this a bit.

** 9 **

** Oh, When You Love It **

 

 

     “No. No way. Just, no.” Carmilla says, pacing back and forth.

 

     I lean back on the lounge, resting on my hands. “Carm, think about it. You said your hunger isn’t as bad as a regular vampire’s, right? But I’m assuming that’s when you feed normally.” She stops pacing to look at me expectantly. “So, feeding from me just makes sense. It would only have to be often enough so you can handle being around my blood. You can use the bags in between.” I sit up straight and cross my arms over my chest, proud of my logical thinking.

 

     Carmilla stares at me silently for a moment before collapsing back into the chair. She sighs heavily, raking both hands through her hair. “Do you hear yourself? I attacked you, and you want me to do it again?”

 

     I shake my head. “That wasn't you, that was-”

 

     “Stop! How many times do I have to say it?” She stands up again and throws her hands up in frustration. “That was me. It was all me, I was in control.”

 

     “No, no, you were crying. You said you couldn't stop.”

 

     “I was crying because I was ashamed and disgusted with myself, still am. I didn't want to stop. I was weak and gave in.”

 

     “No. There's a reason. There's an explanation.”

 

     “Gods, Laura, stop trying to rationalize it.” Carmilla stands in front of me. There's a glint in her eyes I don't particularly like. “You need to process what happened. Get angry. Let it out. Yell at me. Hit me. Do _something_.” Her voice gets louder and more commanding with each thing she says. “Think about yourself for once, goddamn it!”

 

     I spring to my feet and slap her across the face. Her head whips to the side with a crack that seems to echo around in the following silence. I have no idea where this anger came from, but now it's all I can feel. I'm breathing heavily and my pulse is pounding in my ears.

 

     Carmilla wipes at her lip with the back of her hand before facing me again. “There it is, finally.” She murmurs.

 

     I almost slap her again, instead I just ball my hands into fists at my sides. “How could you?!” I ask, my volume increasing with my anger. “I defended you against everyone; Mel, Danny, my dad. I felt so safe with you. I trusted you completely, and you…” My words get cut off as a sob falls from my lips. “I've never been so scared in my life.” I sit back down and try to wipe away the tears streaming down my face. “How could you do that to me?” I ask quietly, my anger giving way to the sting of betrayal.

 

     “Laura…” She tries to place her hand on my shoulder, but I bat it away.

 

     “Don't freaking touch me.” I growl. I turn and curl up on the lounge, facing away from her. For a moment I worry about ruining the pillow by crying on it, then I decide I don't really care. Everything I thought I should have been feeling last night and earlier this morning is hitting me all at once. My chest is painfully tight and I can barely breathe around gasping sobs. ‘ _How can I want her to hold me and be as far away as possible at the same time?’_ I close my eyes and focus on pulling oxygen into my lungs.

 

     When I open my eyes again later, I'm not surprised to find the room is now pitch dark. I am surprised to find a warm blanket has been draped over me. I lift a weary hand to my cheeks, rubbing away the dried up tears. My arm drops over my eyes as I slowly wake myself up. _‘She was right. I did need to get it out.’_ Before, I didn’t want to believe she would hurt me, so I ignored that part. I focused on how _she_ felt instead of thinking about how _I_ felt. _‘Now half of me wants to forgive her.’_ The other half, the prideful half, wants to prove that I am capable of being angry with her. Sitting up, I try to stretch the soreness from my shoulders and neck. Crying that hard really did a number on my body. I swing my legs around and set my feet on the floor, throwing off the blanket in the process. A voice down the hall keeps me from getting up.

 

_"Once I thought my innocence was gone,_

_Now I know that happiness goes on._

_That’s where you found me,_

_When you put your arms around me._

_I haven't been there for the longest time.”_

     I recognize the song, just not who's singing it. I listen for another minute and then walk into the foyer. As quietly as I can, I follow the voice to the living room. Carmilla is singing softly to herself while duct taping the black curtains over the window. Her voice is…sweeter than I thought it would be.

 

_“I don't care what consequence it brings,_

_I have been a fool for lesser things._

_I want you so bad,_

_I think you ought to know that_

_I intend to hold you for_

_The longest time.”_

     That's the last verse, but she continues to hum the tune as she works. She turns around after securing the top of both curtains and actually _jumps_ when she sees me leaning against the wall. “Shit, cupcake, didn't realize you were up. How are you feeling?”

 

     I ignore the question, silently moving to sit on the couch. As soon as I do, Scout hops up and rests her head in my lap. I can't help but grin as I scratch the top of her head. When I look back up at Carmilla, she is perched on the armrest on the other side of the couch. “What were you doing?” I ask.

 

     She glances at the window before raising an eyebrow. “Uh, duct taping the curtains over the window.”

 

     I shake my head. “No, I mean why were you singing? Do you sing a lot?”

 

     She picks at the seam of her jeans for a moment, then answers. “I don't sing as often as I would like. It's one of the only things that are _mine_ , that Mother hasn't ruined yet. So I try not to let anyone know that I can.” She raises her eyes and I'm shocked by the intensity in them. “As for the song, it's been stuck in my head for days. Since Friday actually.”

 

     I understand what she's trying to say, I just don't feel like dealing with it right now. "I never took you for a Billy Joel fan.”

 

     Her head tilts to the side a little as she holds the stare. “A few of his songs really speak to me.” I don't answer, choosing to watch my fingers run through Scout’s fur instead.

 

     With a sigh, she walks out of the room. I try not to jostle Scout’s head too much as I pull out the two phones that are still in my pockets. I must have been laying in a way that they didn't dig into me while I napped earlier. I put hers on an end table by the couch, since her coffee table is now in two halves. I check mine for the time, it's a little after two. Which means it's been four hours since I left my house and I was asleep for almost three. Dad texted saying he won't be home till late, which is what he said last night. I'm glad Danny didn't try to contact me; I don't feel like dealing with her either. Carmilla comes back in carrying a blue mug with white circles. She holds it out to me. “Here. I would have marshmallows, but they were out of the mini ones at the store, so I was going to go back tomorrow because you seem like you prefer those…” She lets the word fade out when she realizes she's rambling and I haven't moved.

 

     When she got closer, I was able to see what the circles on the mug are. _‘It's Gallifreyan writing. She has a Doctor Who mug, hot chocolate, and is freaking out over marshmallows. Why?’_

     “Well uh,” Carmilla keeps holding out the mug with one hand and rubs the back of her neck with the other. “I wanted to have something you'd like when you eventually came over and I didn't think you'd want to use anything that's had blood in it. So I bought this stuff yesterday.”

 

 _‘Oh god, I thought out loud again’_ “Thank you.” I say softly, finally taking the drink from her. She gives me a shy smile before sitting down in one of the two chairs opposite the couch. We sit silently, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I take a small sip of the hot chocolate to see if it has cooled down enough. It has, so I take another, longer sip. It tastes exactly like it does when I make it, which means she watched me that one time we snuck down to the kitchen and remembered. I put the mug on the end table and go back to petting Scout. She's staring at the dog in my lap and doesn't notice me staring at her.

 

 _‘I'm dating a vampire.’_ A species that is often portrayed as bloodthirsty murderers, as vengeful and territorial, as creatures of the night who lack morals and don't care about anyone but themselves. As much as she would like me to believe that, that's not Carmilla. She has morals, they're certainly questionable at times, but she has them. She's more protective than territorial. And she definitely cares more about others than herself, even if she tries to deny it. I get what she is trying to say though. As a vampire, she needs to drink blood, and oftentimes bad things happen in the process. But to me, this whole ‘I'm a monster’ thing she has going on seems to be less nature, and more of a nurture problem. Carmilla just needs to see that _who_ she is, is more important than _what_ she is. _‘And even if she didn't like who she was before, she's different now, with me. She's changed.’_

 

     “That tall blonde werewolf, what's her name? Betsy?” She asks suddenly, keeping her eyes on my hands.

 

     “Betty. What about her?” I reply curiously.

 

     “Someone was in my room earlier and I didn't see her at all during the fight. Do you know what her Gift is?”

 

     “Danny said she can blend in with her surroundings.”

 

     Carmilla narrows her eyes. “She turns invisible.”

 

     I shake my head. “No, I don’t think it’s as obvious as that, otherwise Danny would have said so. Instead she said Betty is like a chameleon.”

 

     “So it's more of a camouflage thing.” She says, nodding thoughtfully. “Well either way, I'm pretty sure she's the one I smelled. The others distracted me while she snooped around. Luckily, you had my phone, so she couldn't have found anything noteworthy.”

 

     “Really?”

 

     Carmilla smirks and runs her gaze over me. “I only brought three things with me to this house. My phone, my jacket – which looks great on you, by the way – and the file on your mother that I stole from mine.”

 

     My brain gets kind of stuck on the compliment and I almost miss the last part. “Wait, you have a file on my mom?”

 

     “It doesn't have anything in it that they don't already know. Mother’s assassins weren't exactly discrete.” She meets my eye and immediately guesses what I'm about to ask. “Oh no. I'm not letting you see it, Laura. You don't want to, trust me.”

 

     Forgetting about Scout, who scoots to the other end of the couch with a huff, I quickly jump to my feet. “I have a right to know, Carmilla. For over half of my life I thought she was killed in a mugging. Then I find out it was vampires, but I still don't know any more than that!” I don't mean to yell, but my frustration just shot through the roof.

 

     Carmilla gets up and grabs my biceps to keep me in place. “I understand, I do, but there are pictures in there that…” She starts to rub her hands up and down my arms, then pulls away like she was burned. “Sorry. Look, I'll tell you everything, I just don't want to corrupt the memories you have of her.” Her voice breaks slightly and she drops her head.

 

     I'm about to ask what's wrong when I realize it's been over three _hundred_ years since she last saw her actual mother. Her memories may have faded completely. I usually hate when people try to protect me, but I'll let it go this time. So instead of pushing, I say, “I just want to know what really happened.”

 

     Carmilla sits back in the chair with a sigh. “Alright.” I fold my legs underneath me on the couch and wait for her to continue. “She worked at The Globe, as you know.” I nod in confirmation. “I don't know who, but Mother was tipped off by someone and sent two of her best killers to stake out the building. She never left alone. Either your father would come pick her up or she would walk to her car with a group of coworkers. Until one night she was. They grabbed her and pull her into a nearby alley. They were supposed to make it look like a mugging gone bad, but she didn't make it easy on them. She fought back hard, tearing the throat out of one and used a concealed stake to kill him. The other panicked and shot her with a silver bullet. He ran, leaving his dead partner and your mother in the alley. She called your father, but bled out before anyone could get to her.”

 

     The first thing I feel is a swell of pride. _‘Mom took one with her. Good.’_ The second is a wave of nausea at the thought of my dad being on the phone with when she died. I lean forward putting my head between my knees, feeling like I’m going to be sick. _‘No wonder he was nearly catatonic the next day.’_ I knew he was first on the scene, I didn't know _that_ was why. Carmilla is hovering hesitantly at my side, unsure of what to do. Eventually, she lightly rubs my back.

 

     “You okay?” She asks in a whisper.

 

     I nod my head in response. I stand up after another minute and Carmilla watches me curiously as she sits in the chair again. I chug the rest of my hot chocolate, put the mug down, and roughly run my hands through my hair. “Thank you.” I turn to face Carmilla with my hands on my hips. “I don’t want to be mad at you anymore.” I state.

 

     She nods her head slowly. “Okay…”

 

     “But, I don’t want to forgive you just yet either. So, you’re on probation.”

 

     “And that means?”

 

     “Until I officially forgive you,” She quirks up an eyebrow and I continue, “we’ll work back up to touching and kissing, and,” I plop down on the couch, grab my now empty mug, and hold it up, “you make me hot chocolate whenever I ask.”

 

     Carmilla considers me for a moment, then slowly stands and saunters over. She leans down, bracing her hands on the back of the couch, and gets as close to my ear as possible without touching. “Your wish is my command, princess.” She whispers. My eyes flutter closed and a shiver runs down my spine as her scent washes over me. When I open them, Carmilla is gone along with my mug. _‘She teleported in her own house for effect.’_

 

     She comes back and does a little bow while presenting me the mug. I take it with a chuckle. “You're such a dork.”

 

     She just shrugs and flops onto the couch, leaving almost two feet of space between us. I appreciate that she is respecting my need for distance, but my mind and body are warring over the same thing. I know right now that I don’t want her to touch me; it will just make me think of last night and that’s the last thing I want to do. On the other hand, my whole body is thrumming in her presence. _‘This is killing me.’_ Carmilla laces her hands together behind her head and leans back. “You know, these rules kinda go against that ridiculous plan you proposed earlier.” She points out.

 

     “Hey! I really think it will work. But I do admit, the timing could have been better.” I say sheepishly.

 

     "Still killin’ me, Hollis.” She murmurs. Her mouth opens to say something else, but Scout drops a knotted rope in her lap before she can. “You wanna play?” She asks, holding the rope by one end and waving it around. It takes a few tries, but Scout manages to catch the rope and they begin tugging it back and forth.

 

     It's times like these; when she's not putting on an act for anyone, when her smile is bright, and her laugh is genuine, that I fall for her a little more. She stands and lifts the rope up over her head. Scout is still hanging on, so now she's being held in the air too. _‘Rottweiler tenacity vs. vampire strength. Who will win?’_ Carmilla wiggles her arm, causing the dog to spin around. After a minute or two, Scout is still hanging on and Carmilla lets her down. “Good girl. With a bite like that, Clifford will think twice about breaking back in here.” She coos, rubbing Scout’s upturned belly.

 

 _‘And she calls me adorable.’_ “Do you believe in soulmates?” I'm not sure where the question came from, but it left my mouth before I could figure it out.

 

     She looks up at me from where she is crouched on the ground. “I told you, Laura, I don't care about the prophecy.”

 

     I shake my head slightly. “No, I just mean in general. Do you believe in soulmates?”

 

     Her brow furrows as she considers the question. She pulls herself back up on the couch and runs a hand through her hair. “I'm inclined to say no; only because the alternative is too depressing.”

 

     “What do you mean?”

 

     “If everyone has a soulmate, that means for every person I’ve killed, or helped my mother kill, someone else's life was ruined as well.” She lifts her head from where she was staring at her hands in her lap to meet my eye. “It would also mean that everything you feel before meeting your soulmate is pointless.” I reach over and grab her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. I know she's thinking about Ell. She squeezes back, smiling softly. “And, I’d like to think that _I_ won you over, not some cosmic inevitability.”

 

 _‘I want to kiss her so bad.’_ But I can't because I literally just made that a rule. “Well, you know, there’s just something about you.” I say slowly, wondering if I should address the first half of what she said.

 

     “Maybe it's my long history of murdering and callously discarding people.”

 

 _‘Where the hell did that one-eighty come from?!’_ “Carm…”

 

     “Sorry, I just…uhg.” She stands and pushes her hair back with both hands. “I was thinking about what you said earlier and the no ‘monster’ thing. I get it, you want me to be positive or whatever,” Carmilla comes over and kneels in front of me. “but I need you to realize that I have done horrible things because I wanted to. I’m not a good person and sometimes when you look at me like that, I think you’ve ignored all that to make up some romantic ideal in your head. I feel like you don’t see _me_.”

 

     Her eyes are on mine, their intensity keeping me in place. I stare at her and let her words process. _‘I’ve been thinking about this all wrong.’_ The best thing for me to do isn’t show her that she’s changed, she just needs me to accept her past. I grab her hands and hold them on my knees. “I’m sorry I’ve made you feel this way, but what I see isn’t made up. You and everyone else have told me about what you’ve done. It’s just hard to keep that in mind when you’re always so sweet when we’re together.”

 

     Her grip on my hands tightens almost painfully. “Murder, kidnapping, assault…I did whatever I wanted, to whoever I wanted, and for a while I enjoyed it. I’m trying to be better, but that’s a part of who I am, Laura. You can’t expect all of that to just evaporate because I love you.”

 

     “Really?”

 

     “What?”

 

     “You really love me?”

 

     I watch her eyes widen in shock. “I- I-” She sighs. “You don’t have to say it back. I didn't say it to pressure you, it just slipped out. I don't want you to be uncomfortable or anything…”

 

 _‘Screw my rules.’_ Before Carmilla can ramble on any more; I grab the back of her neck and pull her into a hard kiss. When the surprise wears off, she kisses me back, matching my intensity. It's sloppy, and a little desperate, with both of us just needing to feel the other. One of her hands moves to fist in my hair, holding me close. After a few breathtaking minutes, she pulls back. As soon as we both open out eyes, I start talking. “Sorry, it’s just I thought I was crazy for falling for you so quickly, but if you love me too then it has to be real.”

 

     Carmilla is still on her knees in front of me, her lips still slightly parted after our kiss. “You love me? Even after last night?” She asks, her voice barely audible.

 

     “I am in love with you, Carmilla, in spite of last night.” I say firmly. The full weight of the situation hits me when the words leave my mouth. _‘I'm in love with her and she is in love with me.’_

 

     She falls backwards to sit on the floor. She shakes her head, a dopey smile on her face, and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I don't deserve you.” She says.

 

     I cock my head to the side and grin at her. “Well you're stuck with me.” My phone goes off on the table, making me jump and Carmilla laugh. “And besides, maybe I deserve you.” I say absentmindedly. Her laugh stops abruptly and she stares at me thoughtfully. I'm looking at her instead of my phone when I answer it, so I have no idea who it is. “Hello?”

 

_“Laura, where are you right now?”_

     “Hi, Dad. I'm at Carmilla’s house.”

 

_“Have her take you home right now. I'm on my way.”_

 

     I sit up straight when I hear how stressed he sounds. “What's going on?”

 

_“A girl from your school was murdered last night. By a vampire.”_

     “It wasn't Carm.” I say immediately.

 

_“I know, kiddo. She was asleep on our couch when it happened. But another vampire in town can't be good news, so I'd feel better if you are home.”_

     “Alright, we’ll go now. See you soon.”

_"Be careful."_

 

     I look up after he ends the call. Carmilla is already up and grabbing her own phone. “I heard him and I agree, another vampire is bad news. I'm gonna grab some food for Scout and then teleport us to your house.” She says on her way into the kitchen.

 

     I stand and make sure my keys are still in my pocket. _‘Seriously, how did I sleep like this?’_ With Scout walking next to me, I start to follow Carmilla to the other room. I stop when I hear a low, threatening growl come from the Rottweiler. Turning around, I gasp when I see a dark skinned woman in a black dress and black overcoat. Power is radiating from her in waves and she silences Scout with a look. “Um – who exactly are you?” I stutter.

 

     The woman grins, sending a chill down my spine and not in a good way. “I'm Matska Belmonde, and you're the meddling halfblood that is going to kill my mother.”

     Her words trigger something in my mind. I suddenly remember the vision I had the night of my birthday. “I'm not going to kill her,” I mumble to myself, “Carm is.”

 

     “What did you just say?” The woman demands.

 

     She steps forward threateningly, only to be intercepted by Carmilla. “Mattie! When did you get into town?” Carmilla asks, hugging the other woman and spinning her around.

 

     They’re both smiling and holding each other’s arms tightly. “Last month. And don’t you ‘Mattie’ me, you little monster. From what I hear, you’re up to your gorgeous neck in this werewolf mess, Sis.” Matska runs her finger along Carmilla’s jaw and tucks her hair behind her ear.

 

     The show of affection shocks me. “Sis?”

 

     Carmilla turns to me, still smiling, and gestures between us. “Oh right, cupcake, this is my older sister-”

 

     “I’ve already introduced myself to your walking dinner date.” Mattie interrupts.

 

     Carm walks over to stand next to me, giving her sister a pointed look. “Mattie, this is my _girlfriend_ , Laura.” Her arms cross over her chest and she cocks her head to the side. “I’m happy to see you and all, but what are you doing here?”

 

     Mattie gracefully sits on the edge of the couch, crossing one leg over the other and placing her hands on her knee. “Mother found out you took the file.” She says flatly. “She sent William to track you down.”

 

     Carmilla stiffens and her hands clench at her sides. “Is he here?”

 

     “Yes, and that girl he killed told him exactly where to find the cub reporter.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Feel free to point out any mistakes or make corrections. I know they're there.


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